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How Messsy is Too Messy? - Page 2

post #21 of 128
Messy/cluttered/clean laundry in baskets is fine by me. Seeing mold, mildew, and yuck in bathrooms, fecal matter on the toilet, black stuff growing on kitchen sinks, carpets obviously not vacuumed in a month, black sticky stuff and grunge on floors, stinky dirty cat boxes that have obviously not been cleaned in a week, dirty dishes left out (dirty or clean in the sink is fine, I mean day old dirty dishes on the coffee table/end table) overflowing garbage, copious amounts of animal hair (I dont mean the normal amount seen in having dogs/cats, I mean when its obvious no vacuuming has taken place in weeks) dust you can write your name in with your finger, etc. crosses the line imo. Books/magazines or junk scattered around is fine by me. That just makes a place look lived in, not neglected.
post #22 of 128
OK, none of you are allowed to come to my house, EVER!!!

Not serious. But we do have pet hair on every conceivable surface, it would seem, and the dishes are almost never ALL done.

What bugs me at other places: garbage and ashtrays. I hate seeing bags of garbage left about. And people that smoke in the house.... just yuck.
post #23 of 128
I agree with bad smells, mold and goop on things.

I was going to say that I don't think I have been to a house that was messy enough for me to be uncomfortable but that's a lie. I remembered my MILs (who I adore BTW), her house was absolutely vile. The carpet was greasy and matted down from 10 years of never being vacuumed. Also everything was covered in a layer of greasy dust, there were decade old piles of junk everywhere and the bathroom had black mold all over it. Her landlord was going to paint and replace the carpets since it had been so long but it would've meant tidying so she didn't get it done.

She's moved now which means that it's OK for now but we are slowly building up to 10 years from now when it will be the same as the last place.

I wonder do your standards change depending on length and value of friendship?

I do find my standards slipping depending on how good a friend is. I'd have made sure that I spent a fair amount of time running around tidying if it was someone I didn't know that well. However once I feel confident in our friendship, I tend to clean less as I know they aren't concerned and are there to see us vs the state of my house. I've noticed they are the same and their houses seems to get messier the more I visit! LOL
post #24 of 128
I'll admit, I've been to a couple houses that skeeve me out. One in particular-the bathroom rugs are filthy, there is way too much clutter, and there's a layer of white on everything in the bathroom! Soap grime, hair (pet & human) a gazillion bottles of shampoo, etc. And always a sopping wet hand towel. *shudder* I am super picky though, and clean all the time. I realize this isn't the norm.

My inlaws house is organized & not cluttered, but the shelves/furniture is dusty. This doesn't bother me nearly as much, if at all. There are always clean towels!
post #25 of 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by SAHDS View Post
I don't like dirty:

strong, unpleasant odors (urine, cigarettes, pets, garbage)
visible catbox
stained carpet
filthy blinds
dirty toilets
floors that need vacuuming and mopping
dirty dishes
messy kitchen, period.
messy bathroom, period.

I don't mind a mess:

a pile of clean clothes that need to be folded
toys spread out because they're being used
unmade beds

Will I judge? Nope. Will I be uncomfortable? Most definitely.
:

I have friends whose home is very neat and organized but it is beyond filthy. I used to be their nanny so I know they NEVER clean. I ised to do most things and when they went away or when the kids were in school I would clean like crazy. I quit 4 years ago. The house has not been cleaned since then. They do not own a vacum and they have plebty of carpets. Alll of their whote socks are black on the bottom. It is quite gross and the kicker is she is a Nurse in the OR!!!
post #26 of 128
I totally don't mind things like general clutter, and pet hair doesn't bother me either unless it's been piling up for weeks or months and is taking over the house. But I get wierded out by unpleasant smells, and filthy bathrooms, kitchens and floors. I clean a lot anyway (bit of a neat freak, with a dash of OCD thrown in for good measure) but I always at least vacuum/sweep, and clean the bathroom and kitchen before I have anyone over. Dh and I used to be friends with a couple who rarely cleaned and when they did it wasn't much, everytime we'd go over the floors would be so dirty it would turn your socks/feet black (they had a no shoes in the house rule-BUT they went outside barefoot, so they tracked everything all over the house anyway!) and I was always a little scared to sit on the toilet it was so dirty. That was awful, but that's really the only house I've been in that was too dirty.
post #27 of 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tilia View Post
Unvacuumed bothers me. Not just a few crumbs, but gross stuff everywhere.

Dirty plates and bowls in the living room.

Cat smell.

Old sippies.

That's about it.
This is basically my list too - except add dirty bathroom and dirty kitchen counters.

Clutter doesn't bother me. A few unwashed dishes (in the sink) don't bother me. A pile of unfolded laundry doesn't bother me. Filth, dirt, and smells bother me.
post #28 of 128
Re: toilets. The seats should be clean--new seats can be put in for $5 and 10 minutes work if you've got a really persistent stain, especially something like mildew discoloration. The insides? As long as things aren't floating or chunky (ewww) discoloration is fine. And I do totally get kids not flushing everytime, or missing. In a house with children, I actually anticipate needing to do a bit of wiping or flushing before going.
post #29 of 128
Also, the longer I'm going to visit, the higher my standards. A lot of stuff that I won't care about during an chatty little visit will upset me during an overnight stay. Like, obviously, the state of the guest room.

And once I have a crawling LO, I'll probably be fussier about carpets too.
post #30 of 128
Having a large family myself in a small home, I don't mind typical clutter (papers, some dishes, kids toys & socks laying around) but what grosses me out is:

-dirty bathroom (don't care if there's permanent stains... as long as it's clean & isn't sticky or smelly!)
-dirty kitchen (some dirty dishes soaking are fine, we have them, but dirty counters & gunk is gross)
-severely unvacuumed rugs
-sticky unmopped floors

Basically if the kitchen is not a health threat & the bathroom doesn't look like a public restroom, & I feel safe taking off my shoes, them I'm ok I can handle messy, just not gross!
post #31 of 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by blueeyes View Post
Basically if the kitchen is not a health threat & the bathroom doesn't look like a public restroom, & I feel safe taking off my shoes, them I'm ok I can handle messy, just not gross!
I think that sums it up perfectly!
post #32 of 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by SAHDS View Post
Try a pumice stone, they work great for hard water.
I'm not interested in sticking my hand in the toilet to clean something that doesn't matter. We don't touch it and it doesn't touch us.
I try to do reuseable as much as possible but I do use throw away toilet cleaners. It makes me sick to have a reuseable toilet brush. I can't see sticking my hand in the toilet just to make it white.

But as far as things that bother me pet hair is a big one. I know its hard to keep up on but I don't like it on surfaces used for sitting, the floor I don't really care about.

Mold and mildew are nasty. We have very hard water here and the bathroom dh uses does not have good ventilation. Its a PITA keeping the mildew at bay. After he showers he sprays on a daily shower cleaner and the ventilation fan stays on for a few hours, I also put an oscillating fan in the room but the shower still needs a scrub down weekly or the minerals and mildew build up.

Flies are gross but we get them here too even when the kitchen is kept up. It seems like each summer for a few weeks the flies take over. We don't have A/C and I think they get in the cracks of the windows and doors we keep open for breeze.
Although I don't like them and they gross me out I understand.

I have pretty high tolerances for others and very low for myself. I don't have people over often

There are a lot of things that I think are gross but I understand how they happen easily. My house can become totally trashed in a day and have a lot of the issues that others mentioned quickly (dishes pilling up, stains on carpets happening, bathrooms getting messy, etc). When you have a crazy 3 yr old and a 6 yr old plus you are 8 months pregnant it happens very easily!
post #33 of 128
Did anyone else read this thread and realize their mouth was hanging open and they were making grossed out faces?

I have been in a few houses like that. Mostly when we were looking for a rental. My god!

Question- if you had a friend who's home was *so gross* that your children (in addition to you) weren't comfortable there, would you stop visiting?
post #34 of 128
WOW! never just pop in to visit my house.. i feel like there are always dirty dishes, dog hair and unclean floors. teh toilet has hard water stains that we cannot get to go away. there are no smells however... and no funky gunk hanging around...
BUT whenever we EXPECT company or i have a few extra minutes i scrub teh floors and the dog hair is almost gone and the sink is generally pretty empty..

You can ALWAYS find however :
unfolded clean laundy in a pile (sometimes more than one),unmade beds, except fo rteh baby's and DD's cause they dont' sleep in them couch cushins on the floor (the kids are always building forts out of them or taking them of tosit on teh floor on them.. gotta get bean bags ) and toys strewn about despite havign a playroom. Also we never dust. seriously unless we rearrange somethign we dont' dust.
no mold that we are aware of..

at other peopels homes what grosses me out is :
nasty smells,(urine ) dirty water left in teh sink with stuff floating.. (i'd MUCH rather see dirty dishes than nasty old water in there) moldy food in teh fridge.. that REALLY GAGS me! (we generally dont' go in peoples fridges btu are oftne told to Help ourself ot a drink/snack for the kids etc..)I actually have one very good friend that i go over and clean her fridge for her cause we are really close and we spend a lot of time there nadshe knows it grosses me out to see the nasty old food so i jsut go and sort through for her and chuck stuff, while she cooks dinner etc. _
and the last thign is dirty clothes strewn abotu the house... not in a luandry space, but everywhere.... or dirty highchairs that obviously haven't been cleaned in a ong while....
post #35 of 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by ~Megan~ View Post
I'm not interested in sticking my hand in the toilet to clean something that doesn't matter. We don't touch it and it doesn't touch us.
I try to do reuseable as much as possible but I do use throw away toilet cleaners. It makes me sick to have a reuseable toilet brush. I can't see sticking my hand in the toilet just to make it white.
You can wear a rubber glove...like the kind made for cleaning that goes up to your elbow. I have a pair of those I break out when I have a yucky job to do. For the toilet (I had stains at the bottom of the bowl from when a rusty plumber's snake was used to clear a clog) I put on the glove, then used an empty yogurt cup to bail out all the water (poured it down the bathroom sink), then used the pumice stone to scrub the stain. Took off the glove when I was done and laid it out in the sun to dry.
post #36 of 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by Changed View Post
Question- if you had a friend who's home was *so gross* that your children (in addition to you) weren't comfortable there, would you stop visiting?
Yep. I haven't been to my cousin's house in years because it is so gross. She even has Thanksgiving there, yikes. I am not eating anything made in that house, off those dishes. Just thinking about it makes me want to get a Tetanus shot

Has anyone mentioned spots on bathroom mirrors? That makes my skin crawl! Like, gunk from floss, toothpaste, makeup. Eeeew.

wednesday - I'm with you on that one Of course, I am a crazy cleaner. Cotton swabs, toothpicks, anything to get every last speck. I'm nuts.

Oh, and as a pp said, blackened white socks. My best friend (not the best cleaner) said something about how annoyed she is that the bottom of their white socks turn black. I felt bad saying I had NO idea what she was talking about, mine are white. She also mentioned the 'pink gunk' she gets in her tub and sink. To this day, I'm still not sure what she was referring to. I'm actually kind of afraid.
post #37 of 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by SAHDS View Post
She also mentioned the 'pink gunk' she gets in her tub and sink. To this day, I'm still not sure what she was referring to. I'm actually kind of afraid.


I'm not sure why, but that cracks me up! I think the pink stuff is some kind of soap-scummy mildew, but I'm not sure either.
post #38 of 128
Spots on mirrors don't bother me. Heck, I doubt I'd even notice them unless the bathroom was just plain disgusting.
post #39 of 128
Quote:
Originally Posted by wednesday View Post
You can wear a rubber glove...like the kind made for cleaning that goes up to your elbow. I have a pair of those I break out when I have a yucky job to do. For the toilet (I had stains at the bottom of the bowl from when a rusty plumber's snake was used to clear a clog) I put on the glove, then used an empty yogurt cup to bail out all the water (poured it down the bathroom sink), then used the pumice stone to scrub the stain. Took off the glove when I was done and laid it out in the sun to dry.
They sell pumice stones on sticks. Just attach a longer stick to one of those.

Also, turn off the water to your toilet and flush. Empty! No bailing.
post #40 of 128
Thread Starter 
What a lot of great answers!! I kind of thought this would be a thread that I killed before I started it!

One of the reasons I ask is because... well, first of all,several of my friends insist that they have messy homes, but that because we all run around cleaning before someone comes over, and avoid unexpected guests at all times, we don't realize that we're judging ourselves way more harshly than anyone else would. And that maybe, just maybe, it's okay to let your friends see some of your mess. So I do wonder what is "acceptable" mess and what is not.

Second, because if someone is going to visit with 30 minutes or less notice, we run into a triage situation :, where you have to quickly assess and decide what to clean and how well to clean it. And I just wondered if other people's ideas about what shouldn't be there were the same, or if maybe I was worrying too much about, say, vacuuming when the dishes in the sink were more generally considered to be skeevy.

For me, if someone's coming over I try to make sure the bathroom is clean and the kitchen counters (I will leave dishes in the sink if we're short on time.) The level of clean that I try to get things is sort of based on the closeness of the relationship - there's a base level of clean that I need for ANYONE to see my house, but the closer I am to someone, the less I worry about doing better than that.

And for overnight guests (except my mom, who is the least judgemental person I know and would way prefer mess to stress) I go insane.

I have been in one house that skeeved me. My FIL's, and it really is because of the funky smell. He has very little clutter... but his house seems soooo dirty to me. First of all, he has a cat who likes to hunt. And bring the victim into the house. We are talking little fluffy feathers floating around, a bloodstain on the wood floor that never got cleaned up. SO gross. Like, clean up that which is macabre, at least! And that weird smell. It just seems like it clings to you. The first time we stayed there, I made my husband go out and buy new towels, because I couldn't stand the idea of one of FIL's towels touching me.

I have cleaned his place, we doused everything with bleach and scrubbed and swept and repainted. The smell remained. I think it's the smell of evil.
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