Originally Posted by mama in the forest
I found this whole thread somewhat disturbing.
Fourlittlebirds stated exactly what she wanted to discuss:
|but basically it's about organized sports and the associated schoolish "teacher as god" mentality.
and clearly she wanted to discuss it from a radical unschooling/consensual living perspective. Not only that, but I see several posters not actually reading what she was writing. Reading it indepth, that is.
What's the point of coming to this thread, stating, and restating how you do
believe in the teacher as god mentality? We get it. Let's move on and get to what she really wanted to discuss.
I agree. I believe there was a reason she put Radical Unschooling in the title: She wanted to open up a discussion among RU parents about dealing with our children's desire to participate in organized sports, coupled with our children's desire to retain their autonomy and have their No's be respected, as they're used to with us.
She put RU in the title, and posted in the Unschooling forum, in the hopes (I believe) of increasing the likelihood that this kind of discussion could take place.
Though neither of my children has yet become involved in organized sports (and I'm hoping we can meet any need for this through playing in the neighborhood and with other homeschooling families), I am currently dealing with my 8yo's desire to get involved in more organized group activities.
Sometimes she enjoys an activity enough to stay involved in spite of some rules she doesn't like. Sometimes she doesn't, and we move on. We're currently in the process of changing churches because of this.
Sometimes it's hard to know exactly how much to bother with communicating with activity-leaders, before simply moving on. Sometimes leaders seem genuinely interested in expanding an activity to make it interesting to more different kinds of children (including my child).
This was how it initially seemed in our previous church. However, it recently became clear to me that some leaders were a lot more interested in continuing with their current regime, and presenting a united front with my daughter. One leader stated that she feels children need to start learning, by age 4, to sit down and listen; she feels boredom is good as it teaches patience. I started to sense an underlying attitude that they'd be doing kids a disservice if they got used to being "entertained" in church.
When I finally realized we'd reached a dead-end with this church, but dd wasn't wanting to leave because she enjoyed the Wednesday night suppers and getting to play in the gym (just nothing else), I said I knew we could find a children's program that was more geared to children than the program in this church (which actually seemed to pride itself in not
being geared to children). She agreed to try out somewhere else, and so far she's greatly enjoyed herself for the last two weeks in a new church we're visiting, which I'm hoping will be our church home.
I know church issues aren't the same as organized sports. But, honestly, I find there are politics in every organized thing we try to take part in. And for extraverted, active kids, it's hard to meet their needs without ever getting involved in any organized stuff. So, to me, it all comes down to keeping the communications open with my children, and helping them determine what they really want.
Again, it's hard to know how much to communicate with leaders. I don't want to come across as if I, a new person, am trying to "take over" or tell someone else "how to do her job." At the same time, in my past experiences leading children's activities, I've often been greatly helped by parents who were willing to offer suggestions about how to better meet the needs of individual children. I greatly prefer communication over someone just dropping out and never saying anything. How will I learn if no one ever says anything?
fourlittlebirds, if I'm taking things off-track by talking about other organized stuff, and not confining the discussion to organized sports, please let me know. I just see a lot of parallels between your experience, and things we've experienced, even though we haven't yet joined an organized sports team.