Originally Posted by honeybeedreams
and they seem needlessly mean too. why are so many of the posts on MDC so angry? why are so many mamas so angry and why do they dump that anger on other mamas?
I don't know about in general -- but as pertains to RU, it seems that many think we (RU or RU-leaning parents) expect the world to conform to us (or our kids). It's simply that hard for someone with a two-option mindset to understand those of us who question rules, try to understand the concerns behind them, and then have the gall to suggest alternatives to the People in Charge of an activity.
The mainstream idea is you go along with everything, or you go your own way and create your own society. RU or CL-people, in contrast, see myriad options for meeting everyone's needs. Our questioning a current set-up isn't a demand to get everything our (or our children's) way -- it's a request for the other person to consider our perspective, and consider other possible ways to satisfy their concerns.
From what the OP has shared, it sounds like this coach is concerned about her son's safety (and possibly about getting blamed if her son is injured due to not warming up). And possibly he's also concerned that the OP's son won't be able to play as competitively if he's not doing the whole warmup routine.
I think the safety concern could surely be met by the OP signing a waiver. As for the competitiveness concern -- perhaps there could be some kind of open discussion to find out what the other kids' focus is.
I like the OP's idea of trying to get the names of the families that dropped out, to see if they're interested in forming a team that's less focused on competition.
One thing that stands out to me, is that the OP said she and her son have satisfactorily resolved this specific issue for themselves. She just started the thread to open up a general discussion about these issues for RU families.
I find we encounter many rules out in society -- and some of them seemingly make no sense. I recently questioned staff at our neighborhood pool (the only pool we can currently afford, and can walk to), about the "no water-wings" rule. I understood that large flotation devices could block the lifeguard's view of the pool, and might keep him from seeing a struggling child -- but water-wings
I found out that the rule was made due to so many parents not adequately supervising their small children. The children are often on their own in the water, and the water-wings give them false security, and there's concern that they'll venture into deep water and the wings might malfunction.
I still find the rule frustrating. When my oldest was 2 and 3, I got tremendous exercise swimming alongside her while she swam all over the pool in her water-wings. Then, by age 4, she took the wings off and started swimming independently. Of course, I still stayed next to her in the deep end, until such time as she got strong enough that I felt okay about keeping an eye on her from several feet away.
Now I have another 3yo, but we don't have access to the more-lenient pool that dd1 and I used to frequent. One interesting fact is that the more-lenient pool didn't have a lifeguard on duty -- there was a "Swim at Your Own Risk" sign, so maybe that has something to do with it. This would be ideal for me, as I'm an expert swimmer and could easily keep both my daughters afloat in a crisis -- kind of a moot point, actually, since the deep-end at our neighborhood pool is only 5-feet
and I'm 5'10!
So I don't quite get the need for a lifeguard, anyway, as many adults could just walk into the deep end to save a drowning child. But I guess it creates jobs. Maybe we could do away with the lifeguard-position, and everyone could get in for $1 a piece instead of $2.
Anyhow, I guess when a lifeguard's on duty it creates a greater risk of liability for the people operating the pool (in this case the Parks and Recreation Department). However, I find myself wondering why "no water wings" is the only way to ensure safety. Why couldn't they just stipulate that any child with water-wings in the deep-end needs to be accompanied by an adult?
Of course, I didn't go into all this with the pool staff: I know they're not the administrators making the rules. I probably should write a letter with my suggestions, which might result in some changes by next summer.