Mothering › Forums › Breastfeeding › Lactivism › Pressure to wean from social worker and OT x-posted
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Pressure to wean from social worker and OT x-posted  

post #1 of 41
6/20/08 at 10:47pm
Thread Starter 
today @ the end of my little nurslings OT session he grabbed a blanket climbed on my lap and asked to nurse. (we have OT in our home for his comfort, not that it matters I would of nursed him anywhere)

So his social worker who was there to meet with his OT (so we all three could talk about Jacob and where he is at) asked me if I planned on asking the developmental pedi how to wean him. I said no I was not sure I wanted to push him to wean since it is one of his only coping methods when he gets really stressed or upset. So then both the OT and the SW started telling me that cold turkey would be the best way and the OT suggested getting him a weighted vest or weighted blanket to replace me as a comfort item.

I tried explaining to them that American human primates do not nurse their young nearly as long as they should be when you compare them to other primates. (such as the Lion-tailed Macaque, they nurse for a year reach sexual maturity around 4 years and live around 20 so they spend 1/4 of their childhood nursing) I also explained about the WHO and world wide weaning age being 3-4 years. I explained that the benefits are the same third world nation or not and that it is a misconception that industrialized nations do not need to nurse as long.

The OT stated that she feels when they can ask for it they are too old in her opinion and my SW said that most people she know stops when the children get teeth if they go that long.

I felt very cornered and uncomfortable in my own home. I like Jacob's SW, as for the OT I don't know her well enough yet. I know I didn't click with her right away as I did with his SW but she does like Jacob.

I don't know what to do about this or what to say really. I had no intention to ask the developmental pedi about weaning she was supportive of his nursing when I talked with her (making his first appointment to be screened) and she is also into naturopathic methods so I think she would lean more to the cont nursing as long as we are both comfortable camp anyway.

I am also posting this in lactivism. Thanks for any thoughts or advice. I am used to the pressure, rolling eyes, and comments from my Mom and sisters this was a whole new ball game.
post #2 of 41
6/20/08 at 10:56pm
Just ignore them. Clearly you are far more educated on the subject than they are.

Also, interesting to point out, from your description, they were just offering *personal* opinions about it. Something they should really keep to themselves.

-Angela
post #3 of 41
6/20/08 at 10:59pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna View Post
Just ignore them. Clearly you are far more educated on the subject than they are.

Also, interesting to point out, from your description, they were just offering *personal* opinions about it. Something they should really keep to themselves.

-Angela
I think that is what most bothered me about it. It wasn't as if they had a reason for saying it such as it was affecting his speech therapy or his sensory/stimulation issues. The when they can ask for it they are to old for it really bothered me. I mean I am nursing my child in my own living room I should not feel attacked THERE of all places. It is my and my childrens safe haven from the world KWIM.

I think I will tell the SW that I was bothered but I don't know how to approach the OT as I have not known her very lnog.
post #4 of 41
6/20/08 at 11:03pm
In that situation I would just let it go now and wait for her to say something again (and be prepared)



How wretched to feel attacked in your own home...

-Angela
post #5 of 41
6/20/08 at 11:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sugermama View Post
I don't know what to do about this or what to say really. I had no intention to ask the developmental pedi about weaning she was supportive of his nursing when I talked with her (making his first appointment to be screened) and she is also into naturopathic methods so I think she would lean more to the cont nursing as long as we are both comfortable camp anyway.
They are giving advice outside of their areas of expertise and you don't have to listen to them. I think your response is what I bolded above. If it comes up again say, "Thanks for your concern, but his developmental ped is supportive of my decision to continue nursing. If you're interested, I can give you some resources about the benefits of extended nursing."

Then be ready with some links like Kellymom or Kathryn Dettwyler Or you could even print some of the info and just hand it to them.

I'm sorry you felt ganged up on in your own home. That sucks!
post #6 of 41
6/21/08 at 12:41am
Quote:
Originally Posted by KristyDi View Post
They are giving advice outside of their areas of expertise and you don't have to listen to them. I think your response is what I bolded above. If it comes up again say, "Thanks for your concern, but his developmental ped is supportive of my decision to continue nursing. If you're interested, I can give you some resources about the benefits of extended nursing."

Then be ready with some links like Kellymom or Kathryn Dettwyler Or you could even print some of the info and just hand it to them.
I agree. They are no different than any other busybodies who have issues with bf beyond infancy. It was very inappropriate.
post #7 of 41
6/21/08 at 2:48am
[QUOTE=KristyDi;11518424]They are giving advice outside of their areas of expertise and you don't have to listen to them. I think your response is what I bolded above. If it comes up again say, "Thanks for your concern, but his developmental ped is supportive of my decision to continue nursing. If you're interested, I can give you some resources about the benefits of extended nursing."

Then be ready with some links like Kellymom or Kathryn Dettwyler Or you could even print some of the info and just hand it to them.

I totally agree with the above advice!
post #8 of 41
6/21/08 at 9:28am
mama. how awful to have these health *visitors* (i.e. essentially guest) attack you in your own home.

i think in the future, it would be just fine for you to point out that they are offering essentially unsolicited PARENTING advice, and if they didn't have a professional reason for mentioning it, that you felt it was inappropriate for them to be broaching the subject with you.
post #9 of 41
6/21/08 at 11:37am
Before DS was born I thought I might stop nursing "when he asked for it" until I realized that a one day old baby is "asking" for it in their own way (usually crying)
post #10 of 41
6/21/08 at 12:14pm
s mama
Like my FIL used to say "opinions are like a$%holes; everyone has one" :Lol you are doing what is right for your dc and your family.
post #11 of 41
6/21/08 at 12:20pm
You've already explained your position to them. You don't owe them anything. If it comes up again, IMO you should just say 'It works for us'.
post #12 of 41
6/21/08 at 6:02pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by menomena View Post
mama. how awful to have these health *visitors* (i.e. essentially guest) attack you in your own home.

i think in the future, it would be just fine for you to point out that they are offering essentially unsolicited PARENTING advice, and if they didn't have a professional reason for mentioning it, that you felt it was inappropriate for them to be broaching the subject with you.
ITA This would be my response.
post #13 of 41
6/21/08 at 6:28pm
what is an ot? i would have been really harsh and bitchy with them since it would have been MY home. but thats just me.
post #14 of 41
6/21/08 at 6:50pm
From the moment of birth a child "asks" to me nursed. The method of delivery just changes as they get older.
post #15 of 41
6/21/08 at 8:10pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by go0ber View Post
what is an ot? i would have been really harsh and bitchy with them since it would have been MY home. but thats just me.
OT is Occupational Therapist. They help kids overcome developmental delays and improve life skills like writing, dressing, feeding, etc...
post #16 of 41
6/22/08 at 2:23pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sugermama View Post
The OT stated that she feels when they can ask for it they are too old in her opinion and my SW said that most people she know stops when the children get teeth if they go that long.

At this point, I would have said "well you are entitled to your opinion, but this is not up for discussion. We are both very happy with our nursing relationship."

I don't see how it is any of the OT or SW's business.

s

Kylix
post #17 of 41
6/22/08 at 3:36pm
I'm an OT and I can definitively tell you that *NO WHERE* in approved OT curriculum (approved by our national association) is *anything* about nursing or weaning or anything with lactation as it relates to our field of expertise. You can remind her of this and that in all states that have licensure for OTs, there are penalties for giving professional advice outside of our area of expertise.

Please ignore this OT's comments regarding nursing- they are incorrect and clearly not based on any information or education she received in OT school. And quite frankly, using a weighted blanket in place of nursing is the most idiotic thing I've ever heard of- and as an OT, I would almost guarantee it won't work anyway. Can you ask to have a new OT? (I promise we're not all like that )
post #18 of 41
6/22/08 at 5:13pm
I would complain to their supervisors. That was very unprofessional. Worst of all, how many moms out there don't know as much as you do and end up heeding their uneducated advice?
post #19 of 41
6/23/08 at 4:08am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sugermama View Post
The OT stated that she feels when they can ask for it they are too old in her opinion and my SW said that most people she know stops when the children get teeth if they go that long.
Considering the very wide range of ages for talkiing and teething both of these are obviously arbitrary. These are people (since they work with kids) who should be perfectly aware of that huge range and see the arbitrariness of their opinions. Especially the OT, just in my own experience my nephew who was a late talker would have gotten to nurse for over 2 years longer than my early talking DS if me and my sister had used her criteria (ofcourse since we each used our own criteria my DS has gotten to nurse over 2 years longer than my nephew.)

BTW it's so cute that he brings a blanket.



Quote:
Originally Posted by moderngal
I'm an OT and I can definitively tell you that *NO WHERE* in approved OT curriculum (approved by our national association) is *anything* about nursing or weaning or anything with lactation as it relates to our field of expertise. You can remind her of this and that in all states that have licensure for OTs, there are penalties for giving professional advice outside of our area of expertise.
We were refered to an OT by our LC when DS's latch issues were beyond her. The OT worked with him to use his tongue more efficiently. Then later we were refered to a different OT for DS's chewing/choking issues, and she talked with us a lot about his latch issues as well (it seems they were also related to lack of using his tongue.)
post #20 of 41
6/23/08 at 9:41pm
eepster-- you are lucky!! while we do get some education on feeding, it is primarily something that OTs attend professional continuing education to learn about. unfortunately, there really aren't that many OTs that do that. and again- working on latch and feeding has nothing to do with how long someone can/ should nurse. *that* is out of our area of practice and definitely should not be discussed as a professional.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Lactivism
This thread is locked  
Mothering › Forums › Breastfeeding › Lactivism › Pressure to wean from social worker and OT x-posted