when to stop bathing with the kids?

[ccasanova]

At what age did you stop bathing with the kids? I saw an article on TV once and the lady said that at age 2 one could start showing the child how to shower on their own, and that by 4 or so a parent should not bathe with their children anymore. That seemed so young! Especially picturing a 2 y.o. in the shower alone!

I have a ds age 8, two dd's aged 7 and 6 and a three y.o ds and I still shower with them when needed. Basically none of them like getting their face wet so when they need to take a shower as opposed to bath, I get in there with them because it's almost impossible to keep the water off their faces. My oldes ds (8) is still very innocent, is no where near looking at a woman's body in a sexual way, so I think nothing of it. Should I? I will mention that DH does not shower with the kids and never has. Not that he has something against it, but the bathing of the kids has always and I mean always been my responsibility.

I don't really have a set age either for when I will stop. But I do imagine it will be when my kids can manage to take a shower or bath completely on their own.

[kaylee18]

Some children continue to breastfeed through age 8 and beyond - although that is very rare, it is still normal, and even the AAP says it's been shown not to be associated with any harm to the child (psychological or otherwise). If that's not a problem, I don't see how showering would be. Other cultures also commonly bathe as families regardless of age (they just don't see nudity or bathing as necessarily sexual), so I don't think there's any kind of inherent problem with children and parents bathing together. As long as you and the child are happy with it, it's fine.

That said. Societal expectations leave you open to harsh judgment if you were to continue to bathe with your son after he's a couple years older. Some would probably be "concerned" even at 8, and think about calling CPS if they were aware of it. So this is an area where I would bow to the greater society and encourage my child to more independence (as far as he was okay with that).

[velochic]

Dh never showered with dd. I stopped when she was about 3, but I continued to bathe her until she was about 5. She's 6 now and perfectly capable of doing it all herself and does a good job (other than overusing the shampoo sometimes). I put her in the shower then go get her stuff together... towel, jammies, etc. She gets a couple minutes of play time (not much because we believe in water conservation), then she's out drying herself off.

8 seems a little old - not because he might look at you in a sexual sense, but just in the fact that this seems to be a task that at his age he could easily be doing independently.

[mistymama]

I would keep doing it as long as everyone is comfortable. I'm sure you will know when your son wants more privacy, and until then, I would not worry about it.

My son is 5.5 and usually takes baths because he likes to play with his toys in the water. But even then, I wash his hair and body and then let him play. Occasionally when we are in a rush he'll shower with dh or I.

I'm pretty casual about nudity though. In fact, my son is playing a video game in the buff while I sit here on the laptop. I figure the day will come where he wants more privacy, and we'll respect that. Until then, I could care less what some article says we "should" be doing.

[Pancakes]

This is one of those things that I feel just evolves naturally, kind of like when it's time for a kid to move on into their own bed. It just happens, or stops happening. I stopped showering with DS about the time he turned 8 and when DD was about 10. DS was able to do his own thing and I was no longer needed. DD took longer because she has a ton of hair and could never get it completely clean. I was only in there long enough to wash her hair, and sometimes I was fully clothed to do so. LOL

[captain crunchy]

We still bathe and shower with dd - both dh and I, and she just turned three. I think there is not set time to stop until the children and/or the parents are uncomfortable. In our case I can't say, but I assume dh will stop before I do just because dd and I are the same gender and that is how it is in our society but for now, we are all cool.

[elizawill]

oh, i missed that memo about the no showering with your kids past the age of 2!! i still will shower with my kids sometimes.....i prefer not too since it's my only alone time often..... but as fast as i get into relaxation station......someone is bound to follow me in there sometimes! i don't care really...it's all good.

my kids no longer shower with my dh though...but they definitely did past the age of two!!

[PassionateWriter]

until they dont want to anymore.

[Hannahsmummy]

I still bathe with my five year old daughter. Usually she asks me to. We'll stop when she's not wanting to anymore.

Though last time I did say (jokingly) that I wouldn't have a bath with her any more after she said my body was "funny, didn't match my face" and had "a stripy tummy."

[becoming]

My DS will be 7 in October, and we still shower together. He's not given me any reason whatsoever to think that he's uncomfortable with it. I figure he'll let me know when he's outgrown it.

[becoming]

double post

[NoHiddenFees]

Originally Posted by ccasanova

At what age did you stop bathing with the kids?

When things got too cramped. We still occasionally shower together, and if we had one of those big walk in baths (dreaming here ) we'd probably still bath together.

[Ks Mama]

When to stop bathing with the kids?

When the kids ask you not to bathe with them anymore.

Its really not more complicated than that. ..

[fyoosh]

My son is 5.5 and I haven't bathed with him regularly in a while. I don't think it's wrong, though, at all... we just don't really fit well in there together

When he takes a bath, I just draw it for him, and he plays in there for a while. When we're crunched for time and he needs to wash his hair, I stand outside the shower, and use the showerhead (detachable, on a hose) to wash his hair for him. He isn't a fan of spraying water, or shower water getting on his face, so he doesn't wash his hair himself yet.

[Montessorimom8]

I stopped when ds started giving me The Look. You will know The Look when they give it to you. Ds gave it to me at around 3. We stopped then.

[SAHDS]

DH showered with them as infants (I never felt comfortable holding their slippery bodies in the shower) until I could 'safely' take baths (PP). I bathed with them until they were probably...18 months? After that, I sat by them and helped them until they were 6. Now (7.5, 8) they take showers by themselves.

I bathed with my mom until I was 6 or 7 and I loved it She worked 2 jobs and it was our time. We'd play, laugh and sing.

[milehighmonkeys]

I would be surprised if an any age son would look at his mother's body in a sexual sense. I don't really think that's the point. At some time in their lives, they will have to learn to deal with the shower and the water in their faces and how to keep it off or to be comfortable with it.

[momofmine]

Originally Posted by Ks Mama

When to stop bathing with the kids?

When the kids ask you not to bathe with them anymore.

Its really not more complicated than that. ..

I don't know where the "yeah that" button is, but that's what I say too. It is crazy that we sexualize the naked body so much that you can't even bathe your kids or take a shower with them to help them wash their hair! When they want you to leave them alone, they'll tell you.

[Kay11]

Originally Posted by Montessorimom8

I stopped when ds started giving me The Look. You will know The Look when they give it to you. Ds gave it to me at around 3. We stopped then.

Could you explain this please? I have 2 kids and I have no idea what The Look is.

I still regularly bathe and shower with my 2 who are 2.5 and 5. No because they can't wash themselves, though I doubt either of them could adequately wash their hair because they have lots of it, especially ds, but because they like to have me in there with them. And I like being in there with them too - it's fun.

When they ask me not to be in with them anymore we'll stop. Until then, I hadn't given it a second thought. I walk around naked in front of them and both of them use any excuse (and usually no exucse at all) to strip off and run around naked. I go to the toilet in front of them. I just don't see that there's an issue here at all. Perhaps it's cultural though.

[MsBirdie]

I still take showers with my mom when i am over at her house, and if I want to shower when she is (and if we are both in the middle of a conversation). she has a BIG walk in shower. We have to help my Great grandmother shower and bathe. To me it was always seen as just getting clean. So I say whenever one or the other party feels uncomfortable. I have two DDs so I do not know at what age I would feel awkward with a son.