Birds & Bees for almost 4yo??

[Still_Learning]

DS will be 4 in August and has been very very curious about how babies are made. So far we've told him they grow in the mama's belly.

DS "How'd the baby get in there?"
Us "How do you think the baby got in there"
DS "Crawled up her butt?"
Us "That's an interesting idea"

a few days later

DS "How'd the baby really get in there?"
Us "The baby grows from a seed, like a plant grows from a seed"
DS "But where did the seed come from"
Us "Where do you think the seed came from"
DS "The baby store?"
Us "There's no baby store silly" (he was giggling, obviously trying to be funny)
subject changed

today
DS "mama, what are my testicles for"
Me "that's a great question!" (trying to sound happy and excited and interested
DS "maybe we can look it up on the computer when we get home!"


So, looks like DS is in need of some education here. I just never expected it to be so soon!! He's still officially 3 for crying out loud

I almost went ahead and explained it all to him when he was asking about his testicles today, but thought I'd better give it another night's sleep and get some good advice here.

Is almost 4 too young to tell him that testicles are for making the seed that a Daddy puts in the mama to grow a baby?? I'm sure it will be followed with "how does he get the seed in there. So then the sex talk is next. REALLY? At almost 4???

Someone tell me how to handle this. I don't want to ignore his desire to learn, but I'm not sure I'm ready for him to know about sex. It just seems soooo early for that. Am I way off base?

I was hoping to just keep it light without details, but he wanst details. He wants to now how everything works. I don't feel right refusing to explain things, but also don't feel like he's old enough for the details.

(I bought the book "It's Not the Stork", but it lays it all out there, so I've put it up for now. Maybe it's time and I'm just not accepting it well?)

[alegna]

Tell him. No reason not to.

Use age appropriate language and keep it simple, but the evasiveness is much worse than the simple facts.

-Angela

[bc1995]

I have been wondering this same thing. My ds1 has been asking me repeatedly what his testicles are for. I have just been telling him it what boys have, and girls have ovaries inside that are kind of like testicles. He hasn't really pressed for more than that yet, but I am afraid it is right around the corner.

I guess one of my big concerns is if I do explain everything to him, he will end up telling some of his friends about it all before their parents have the talk with them. I remember innocently doing that to one of my good friends who was a couple years younger and our moms were so upset.

[Fuamami]

It wasn't until pretty recently that my dd started really thinking there was something...suspicious? Different? Interesting? About how babies are made. I explained it all to her at about your ds's age, as I was having ds2, and she did not care at all. You might be surprised at your ds's reaction.

[Still_Learning]

See, I want to just tell him, but a bit of my hestitation is he'll want to talk to everyone about it. I mean, everyone, people at the checkout at the store, the mailman....

He's having a hard time keeping private thigns (poop talk and such) private.

That's only a bit of my hestitaion, not all of it. I worry that he's just too young.

[lachingona1]

My 3 1/5 yo asks me this all the time. I hesitated on telling her because I also thought she would tell the grocery checker, neighbor, etc. But I told her and she has not said a word to anyone, she doesn't really care

[Vancouver Mommy]

Originally Posted by lachingona1

My 3 1/5 yo asks me this all the time. I hesitated on telling her because I also thought she would tell the grocery checker, neighbor, etc. But I told her and she has not said a word to anyone, she doesn't really care

I bet the grocery checker and the neighbor already know.

[pigpokey]

My son asks similar questions at a similar age. Here's what info he has from me.

What are testicles for? To make sperm. (I forgot to tell him about making hormones.) At this age with some children you could get away with misdirecting to something like "Boys have testicles and girls have ovaries."

What is sperm? It's like pollen. I think my son also has been told that it fertilizes animal eggs the way pollen fertilizes plants, generally.

How does a baby get in the tummy? The ovaries release an egg and it goes to the uterus.

[alegna]

Ya know what? At some point he probably WILL tell someone.

So what?

Like a pp mentioned, I bet the checker at the grocery store already knows where babies come from

-Angela

[captain crunchy]

Originally Posted by alegna

Tell him. No reason not to.

Use age appropriate language and keep it simple, but the evasiveness is much worse than the simple facts.

-Angela

I completely agree. You know, children are so much better than we are at accepting things and not making a big deal out of things if they haven't already been conditioned to do so.

For example, I was so worked up about telling dd that my mom's cat (that she loved) died. I didn't want to *damage* her or whatever. So, I just told her... calmly and simply, age appropriately, but honestly. Ya know what... she handled it so much better than any of us did -- just sort of accepted it as a part of live, and moved on.

Just be honest. There is nothing shameful about the act of sex, especially to create a baby -- it isn't like you are sitting him in front of a porno or something.... this is natural and beautiful and shouldn't be something fearful or anxious to talk about with a child. Just be age appropriate, simply stated, and honest.

Also, I wouldn't say that babies grow in bellies. I would say they grow in a special place in the belly area called a "uterus". One of the greatest gifts a parent can give their child imo, is honesty -- especially surrounding their own bodies/the body's functions and parts/etc.

Cuz sooner or later, they are going to learn it somewhere. I'd rather it be from me ... at least they are getting the straight story/right names ya know?

Good luck mama.

[ma_vie_en_rose]

DD1(4yo) started really asking when I got pg this time around. I figured that if she is old enough to ask, she is old enough to know. So, I explained it in the most age appropriate and basic way. She has been happy with that info so far. I know more questions for details are coming, and I will continue to answer them honestly.

[rightkindofme]

My husband points out that small children are often master manipulators. He asks if your child has maybe noticed that asking these questions makes you uncomfortable, and if when you misdirect there is an opportunity to request something the child wants (husband says cookies).

Now my husband is kind of silly, but he has a point. Is your kidlet perhaps emphasizing these questions because you seem nervous? The more reaction you give the more likely the kidlet is to notice.

[lizabird]

We have the book "Where did I come From?" and when my ds asked that exact question, he was 4 yrs old. So I took the book off the shelf and just read it to him. He pretty much just said "oh, okay." and then explained the details to his dad later the next day. :LOL

It's too much trouble to beat around the bush with creative explanations, so we pretty much just talk about things as they are, we don't go into huge detail if not necessary, and ds just accepts things as they are. He'll understand more as he gets older, but for now it's just another interesting fact.

[AllisonR]

DS is 3.5 and hasn't gotten to the babies or sex yet, but I plan to tell it like it is. We have covered death and breasts for BF versus male breasts in reasonable detail though. I made a mistake not talking about death, side-stepping it, but DH stepped in and told it like it was, which is exactly what DS really needed. I hope I've learned my lesson.

Cute story: Friends 4 yo son asks his mom why she is taking a pill, and she tells him it is a vitamin. He offers his own kid vitamin to her, and she says no, that she has to take that specific vitamin. He asks why, so she tells him it is birth control, so she won't have another baby. A few months later, he asks her to have another baby. She says she can't. He says, "yes you can, you just have to stop taking your vitamin." She does stop, and now he has a baby sister.

[ma_vie_en_rose]

Originally Posted by lizabird

We have the book "Where did I come From?" and when my ds asked that exact question, he was 4 yrs old. So I took the book off the shelf and just read it to him. He pretty much just said "oh, okay." and then explained the details to his dad later the next day. :LOL

It's too much trouble to beat around the bush with creative explanations, so we pretty much just talk about things as they are, we don't go into huge detail if not necessary, and ds just accepts things as they are. He'll understand more as he gets older, but for now it's just another interesting fact.

We have this book, too, and read it to DSD when she was around 7yo and asking. I have not read it to DD1, yet, despite her asking because the simple answers I gave her were plenty. I plan to read it when she pushes the subject more. kwim

[harrietsmama]

I loved the book we had...

I don't remember the name of the book, but it was from a DK lady. Anyway, I really liked it because it had simple pages and more detailed pages for each part, and it also featured a midwife and the penis anatomy included the foreskin as PART of the penis, not a collar, or frosting, or a wart, or some other superfluous thing

[loraxc]

DD asked at not-yet-4 (I was pregnant and she wanted to know how the baby got in my uterus) and we explained, on a very basic but factual level.

[Surfacing]

My 3 y.o. recently asked too when we were sitting on her bed reading. I just told her the facts, plain and simple, with the correct names, etc. She listened intently and then asked me to tell her again. As I was nearing the end of my spiel, she interrupted me to say, "Sometimes I do this...." and ran her nose along the edge of her bedrail. Riiiight. Moving right along...! :