Big Sisters Club: using dolls for dialogue

[Shell]

So... my dd's adjustment to baby brother has been so-so. She loves, loves, loves him, and will squeeze the daylights out of him as a sign of affection. She is pretty much climbing on him all day and night, and completely ignoring dh and I when we tell her to get off of him. We've even had to get a bit rough with her, pulling her off of him. She is clearly relishing in all of this.

We had a particularly playful day today; better than most days since ds was born 14 weeks ago. A lightbulb went off for me and I decided to get a few of her dolls together for a "big sister's club." I figured I could use the dolls to discuss what it is like to become a big sister and all the changes that go along with that.

Well... she was unbelievably excited by this!!! I could not believe it! All evening she wanted to have more "meetings." She would say, "Okay, at this meeting we're going to talk about How We Feel When Baby Brother is Having Boobie and We Can't Have Any." Or, "How We Feel When Baby Brother is Crying." LOL!!! Then, she would have me be the voices for her 4 dolls, with each of them giving a different answer to her question. Then I would ask her, "Okay, it is your turn. How do you feel?" And she would always start out with, "Not so good." From there, her answers were all over the board!

Unfortunately, her behaviors towards her brother were no gentler the rest of the evening, but I am hopeful that this could help her process her feelings. And even if it doesn't, it is still good playing! All those LLL meetings have paid off, I guess!

[yarngoddess]

Good for you- that's a good way to help her express what's going on! I have two that are 12mo. apart and one thing we are constantly having to tell the older one is to BE EASY, BE NICE, LOVE BABY and we rub her hand down his face and talk about how easy it is to hurt him. She will still do this a year and a half later! I hope it gets better for you! It got easier for us that's for sure.

[Shell]

Instead of editing my OP, I will just say that of course we're not just telling dd to "get off of him." Rather, we are doing as you are... showing her how to be gentle, etc. It's just that you can only say, "be gentle" a thousand times a day, and then you've got to protect the baby. Since 95% of the time my mellow baby doesn't seem to care that she is pouncing on him, I actually let her be a little rough with him. I figure that it is the basis for their future relationship and in a sense he should get used to it. I'm also in the process of realizing that we overprotected dd as a baby, and she has had gross motor skill delays partially as a result, so I don't want to do the same with him. If he's not crying... then it is my problem, not theirs. Of course I am not letting her injure him. Just letting them be siblings.

But I digress... this thread is really about the "meetings" and how kids are so darned cute!

[yarngoddess]

OH! I didn't mean to imply that you were being rough, or yelling or anything like that!!! I have kids close in age, so I was being sympathetic! Sorry- didn't mean to come across as negative!

I must also say that my little kids are essentially twins. They think alike, laugh at their own personal jokes, and even dream together! (really they will both be sleeping, wake up look right at eachother and laugh like there's no tomorrow!) here are a few pic's http://www.flickr.com/photos/20828096@N06/2244204601/ they are always together and she will kick someon's a** if they ever try to hurt HER baby!

I think you should try to video one of these meetings- one of those things that you will think's priceless- 'cause it is! Isn't it amazing how kids seem to NEED each other even before we have them? I think that your DD is going to be an awesome sister- even if she's a little rough!

[Shell]

Mea culpa! I was totally NOT meaning to imply that you were implying that I was being rough! LOL! Your post just made me reread my post in a new light! Sorry!!!! MDC can get so funny sometimes! Seriously, though, I did not read your post that way.

Yeah, we definitely need to video our "meetings!"

[limabean]

That is adorable!! And something I will definitely try with my DS (we have a 7-week-old baby). He looooooves when we do pretend play with his stuffed animals, so I can totally see him going for this.