Is this normal?

[Rose-Roget]

Hi everyone,

I have a 3-3/4 year old who has always been addicted to his pacifier. For almost a year, he has been using it only when sleeping. (His dentist says it's okay, so I'm not worried about "extended" use of it.) Other than that, he was never one to excessively mouth things, bite, or have other oral "issues."

Recently, though, now that he's old enough to NOT be doing these things, I've caught him starting to put small items in his mouth, he's pulled on my skirt to bite it, bitten cloth napkins, and then he bit my dh's head!

What is going on??? I don't get the impression that he's biting to be destructive or to hurt - he doesn't do it in anger or leave marks - maybe more for the sensation?

Anyone have any ideas about what I can do? Suggestions are much appreciated!

[Rose-Roget]

Anyone?

[LionessMom]

my 5 yr old DSD still puts everything in her mouth. her sleeves, her thumb, her toys, her blanket, the ties from her shirt, and the edges if envelopes between her teeth (like flossing). i keep asking her not to do it if it belongs to someone else because i think it is gross. i have also told her she can floss when she says her teeth itch (she flosses and brushes everyday).
this isnt really advice i guess, just letting you know that my child does it too.

[hubris]

I think some kids are just bigger oral explorers and really like to chew or feel things in their mouths. My just-turned-3 y/o is like this. My 5.5 y/o never put anything in his mouth after around age 2.5 but the 3 y/o loves to stuff his mouth full of things, bite my bedspread, lick me, nip my pants leg, etc.

You might redirect him to something appropriate to chew. Maybe say something like "hmm, you seem to want to chew something. Would you like to bite a carrot?" or offer something else. Maybe he'd like something really chewy or crunchy to eat, or even a bit of fabric with an interesting texture that could be his to munch/suck.

[AllisonR]

My DS used a paci all the time. We very gently slowed it down, so he was on nights only at around age 2.5, and was like that for a year. He slept with 5 of them. Over the course of several months, we just kept "loosing" one paci at a time. So after 2-3 months, there was only one paci left, and then one day it was gone. He asked about it, casually, for two days. We did a search for it, but it couldn't be found. So he got his stuffed lion, and cuddled with me, went to sleep just fine, and never asked again. He is nearly 4 and paci free for several months now.

In the last week, he has taken up licking. He pretends he is a cat, and crawls around meowing and licking people, on the arms, legs, feet, wherever. It is really annoying, and somewhat creepy, and I hope it stops soon.

Note: Although nothing is the best, paci's are actually better for the teeth than thumb sucking. Also, the "appropriate age limit" for paci use varies from country to country. Just meaning the perception he has to quit by age 1, 2, 3 is no set in stone. Over here most kids are off by age 3 or 4, but some still use at night at age 5 and it isn't considered odd.

[harrietsmama]

It could just be sensory exploration like pp said, it could be his teeth/jaws in a developmental stage that stimulates him to relieve pressure.

[Ruthla]

Originally Posted by AllisonR

Note: Although nothing is the best, paci's are actually better for the teeth than thumb sucking. Also, the "appropriate age limit" for paci use varies from country to country. Just meaning the perception he has to quit by age 1, 2, 3 is no set in stone. Over here most kids are off by age 3 or 4, but some still use at night at age 5 and it isn't considered odd.

I have to disagree about "nothing being best"- I'd say that the breast is the best thing to suck on for any child young enough to have sucking needs. Of course, there are children who nurse a long time and still have additional "oral needs", and there are situations where BF can't continue as long as the child would ideally like it, for whatever reason. I'm in no way suggesting that "any child who sucks on stuff has a bad mother who didnt' nurse him long enough"- just pointing out the fact that an "ideal" sucking object does, in fact, exist.

ITA with letting children self-wean from pacis and bottles, as long as common sense methods are used to protect the child's teeth and encourage verbal development. I think it's completely unrealistic, not to mention disrespectful to the child, to set an arbitrary age limit on developmental needs.

[Jannah6]

DS is 10 and he puts everything in his mouth. We constantly have to remind him to take things out of his mouth, but it's such a habit of his. I don't know if/when he will outgrow this. I did wean him at 2.2 yrs, because of pressure from my cousins. So, I'm wondering if this has something to do with it?

4 yr old DD can't resist putting a pacifier in her mouth. One night I heard a weird noise coming from her room. Of course DH was too tired to investigate. I found DD fast asleep sucking on youngest DS pacifier. DD was a pacifier groupie and DH thought it best to wean her at 2.6 years

[straighthaircurly]

My son outgrew putting things in his mouth earlier than most but he was addicted to his paci until he chose to give it up to the paci fairy for some presents a few months before he turned 3. Then he was fine until about the age of your ds when he started chewing on clothes, biting himself, biting me, etc. We bought him a chewy tube kind of like these. http://www.autismshop.com/store/search.php?mode=search

It certainly helped. I kept it at hand and he started chewing on something inappropriate I asked him to substitute the chewy tube. The phase lasted about 6 months for him but he has friends for whom it has lasted longer.

[Rose-Roget]

Thank you all! That is very reassuring to me. I understand that some children have strong sucking needs, which is why we continue with the paci. We weaned the paci to only sleep time about a year ago, but he clearly has strong oral needs, and it doesn't look like he's going to be ready for weaning from it completely anytime soon. It's true that other countries are more "forgiving" about paci use. When ds still had a paci in his mouth 24/7 at age 2, I got a lot of comments from relatives or looks from strangers. But my husband is from France, and when we went to visit last summer, there were 6year olds on their scooters with a paci in their mouth, without "shame." I realized that it's a cultural thing to cut it out so early in America. If they need it, they need it.

For the mouthing and biting, I will continue to redirect. Maybe he is having a developmental growth in his teeth and jaw - he is particularly sensitive to teeth-brushing right now. I just worry that he's going to end up choking on something small, if I don't catch him put it in his mouth. The other stuff is mostly just annoying. I was just thinking about a chewy tube - thanks for that link.

I'm glad that it's all on the spectrum of "typical" though!

[loraxc]

This can be a sign that your DC has some sensory issues, like maybe some mild Sensory Processign Disorder. It's not necessarily something to be worried about, but Google it.

My DD is like this too and we made her a necklace out of aquarium tubing to chew on when she feels the need. She just recently self-weaned from her paci at long last, at almost 4.5. (Yay DD!)

[Ella'sMamma]

I once read a brochure in our ped's office that it is common for children to have a sucking need until ages 5-8. I think that's true. Some kids fulfill the need with nursing, sippy cups, pacifiers, thumbs, other fingers, shirts, etc. Even though it's common, I think our society wants kids to leave the nursing, pacifier, bottle, etc behind. It makes parents feel that their kids are not independent enough which is a shame because I think it's a need that kids find a variety of ways to fulfill, and eventually they will outgrow it.

[Rose-Roget]

I have read something similar to pp, but I think the info I saw said ages 4-5. I do feel like our society pushes early for kids to stop fulfilling that need. And, even though I still let him use his paci for sleeping, I guess I am still guilty of succumbing to the pressures somewhat.