If you have a teenager...I have a question.

[Strong Mama]

How the HELL can you stay frugal with teens in the picture?? We are on a TIGHT budget, I mean, my clothes come from yard sales or the dollar store. I havent even bought myself new clothes in about 6 months. My older son wants these name brand clothes, cell phones, yada yada and we cannot afford them for him. I feel really bad. We are NOT poor by any means, but we just live within our budget. We buy reasonable things we need. If he NEEDS something, we buy it, but it might be a non brand of something. It is so hard, how do you do it?

[spring978]

Time for a job. We have 3 teens DS13 does lawns DD14 babysitts DS17 works full time.

For clothes and such we will pay a base price if they want a more expensive item they pay the difference.

DD14 has a text only plan for her phone she pays the 25 dollars.

DS14 just bought an expensive skate board he saved his lawn money for.

I find that they still nickle and dime us to death witha wanting a buckk or 2 here and there

[sunnmama]

Yes, I agree with pp.

My parents were middle class, but lived on one income. They could not afford the clothing that I wanted. So, they let me know the amt that they could budget for clothing, and that was that. I would take their money and buy two pairs of jeans, lol, and then I would use my babysitting money to buy the other pieces I wanted! Same for school ski trips and other extras that weren't in the budget.

Since it was my money, I also learned to be a great bargain shopper! I learned to hit the sale rack

I started babysitting at 12, and made plenty of money to pay for the clothing I wanted.

[DiannaK]

you are already leading by example... which was my first thought.
Cell phones, high end name brand clothes are WANTS, not needs. He wants these things, I say, let him pay for them himself. I'm a tough love kind of mom.

Do you have a Platos closet in your area? My oldest daughter gets a lot of her clothes here .... consignment shop, that has a lot of Abercrombie, Hollister, etc.

Cell Phones .... you could consider a pre-paid deal, but it would be a big gift in my house (Christmas, birthday), and not just an everyday thing. Personally, I don't see the need for the phone, unless he is driving.

It's not like you are shopping everyday, and expecting the children to adhere to a different stlye of living. You want everyone on board, and that's OK.

I'm interested in seeing what everyone else's thoughts are.

Good Luck!

[PajamaMama]

Fortunately my oldest daughter and my only teen so far is not into shopping and doesn't care much one way or another about name brands. This may be in part because we homeschool and she spends her time with the children of families with similar values to our own family's values. She would like to have a cell phone but we have not given her one...as a pp said a cell phone is a want, not a need. The only reason I even have one is that my husband works for a telecom and it's basically free. I think that teaching the difference between being able to pay for something and being able to afford it while she's still living at home is doing her a big favor, to tell the truth.

[bobandjess99]

We just say NO.

We had the same issues in my house, we would go clothes shopping for school and my parents would give my sister (way into being "cool" and fashion, etc) and i (so not) the same amount of money and drop us at the mall.....i'd come home with whatever....5 shirts and 5 pants(and wear my current pair of shoes until they disintegrated), and she'd have like 1 pair of name brand jeans, 1 pair of name brand shoes and that would be it.

[HydeParkB]

My DD isn't a teen yet, but when I was a kid my parents would set a base amount for most stuff - shoes, prom dress, clothes. We also had a good network of hand-me-downs and I shopped the thrift stores with my mom.

You might want to encourage him to try yard sales or thrift stores. I don't know if it's harder for guys, but there is always Tommy, Abercrombie, etc. at the thrift stores I frequent.

[HydeParkB]

My DD isn't a teen yet, but when I was a kid my parents would set a base amount for most stuff - shoes, prom dress, clothes. We also had a good network of hand-me-downs and I shopped the thrift stores with my mom.

You might want to encourage him to try yard sales or thrift stores. I don't know if it's harder for guys, but there is always Tommy, Abercrombie, etc. at the thrift stores I frequent.

[Collinsky]

Originally Posted by Transitions

How the HELL can you stay frugal with teens in the picture?? We are on a TIGHT budget, I mean, my clothes come from yard sales or the dollar store. I havent even bought myself new clothes in about 6 months. My older son wants these name brand clothes, cell phones, yada yada and we cannot afford them for him. I feel really bad. We are NOT poor by any means, but we just live within our budget. We buy reasonable things we need. If he NEEDS something, we buy it, but it might be a non brand of something. It is so hard, how do you do it?

I don't have teenagers, but I used to play one on TV.

At any rate, what I've found is that eBay seems to be a good source for name brand clothing. Would your son be willing to have something that perhaps isn't "new" but is in like-new/good used condition if it has the "label" he's wanting? I've had better luck getting mine and my kids clothes in lots on eBay than I have at Goodwill or yard sales.

Are there any cell phone plans that might be in your budget? If he needs a $150 phone that can teleport him onto a space station, then of course not, but if he's open to a cheaper phone and a basic, no frills, limited plan ... perhaps it would be workable? I do know that on a tight budget, it's not possible - but if there's any room it might be worth it. And it could be something that benefits everyone (peace of mind for you, knowing that he can call if he needs to, for instance.)

And there are a lot of things that he can do for money, if it's really a priority for him, he can find a way to earn the money for the sneakers or CDs or iPod or whatever that he is so in love with!

[Dar]

Yeah, my daughter has worked since she was 11 or so, pretty steadily. This semester was really busy so she only had one weekly regular babysitting gig, plus occasional evenings, but that was $35 a week so enough for spending money.... and she has hundreds of dollars saved from when she worked more, too.

She`s pretty careful with money, and I do pay for stuff she needs.

I do pay for her basic cell plan, though - it was only $10 additional to add her to the plan, and it`s important to me to be able to reach her, and for her to be able to reach me. We don`t have a landline at all, so cells for each of us are necessary for us.

dar

[Oriole]

DSD is 15 (she lives with us), she tried to find a job in the area, but they are all looking for at least 16 y.o. Her dad needed some help sorting things in the basement, so she works for him on the weekends, which brings her $20 on hand and $20 in the savings every two weeks. She hasn't asked for anything in a while. We do pay for her cell phone, though. She gets some money babysitting for her mom once in a while, so that's where her clothes come from. When she needs things like socks, bras or pjs I get it for her. If she needs something - we buy, if she wants something - it's on her.

A job sounds like a great idea.

[GenB]

I have had this problem with our teens - and to compound matters, they both went to a really snotty private school where 250.00 jeans were the norm. Needless to say, we didn't "follow the crowd." Fortunately, they kind of grew out that mindset. Both kids now work but we gave them a base allowance each month. Actually, now that they both work, they don't really want the more expensive clothes, etc. DD can still get the "want-mes" from time to time but she gets over it rather quickly. I say get'em jobs!

[Usually Curious]

I agree - get 'em jobs!

My almost 18yo dd has worked as a mother's helper for four years. She pretty much pays for all of her own things, even her shampoo and make-up, because she wants the more expensive stuff.

My 16yos works odd jobs, when he can, for spending money. He's very busy with athletics - on track to earn a Div. I scholarship - so he doesn't have as much time as it takes to work a steady job. But hey, I figure free college is worth it.

Teenage years are HARD in many ways. They nickel and dime us all month long.

Cell phones are a bad idea. We have them because we like to be able to comunicate w/them (they're driving), but we have found them to be like the internet - A LOT of bad mixed w/a little bit of good. If we had it to do over again we would NOT have allowed them. It's kind of hard to go back now, though.

[DaMajha]

My dd is 16 and she has always done odd jobs on the weekends to come up with money. For instance, my mother manages a little family restaurant. My daughter knows that if someone misses work, she can offer to fill in.

She also is a little business woman! She plans on being a photo journalist as an adult. She is extremely gifted when it comes to taking pictures. Slowly, she has saved up and bought a nice digital camera and all of the stuff to process digital photos. She started off last summer taking her friends out and taking their pictures for free. She would take their pictures, photoshop them, and then give them a CD with all of their shots for free. This summer she is making really good money taking people's candid senior photos. Parents are loving that she will come to their home, take candid, posed, etc.. and charges half the price of the local studio.

So, see if your child has a talent and help them develop into a money making opportunity.

[Chicky2]

I guess my teen is just a whole different animal, lol. She never nickled and dimed us or had the "gimmes". We always had a very hard time even getting a few suggestions for Christmas from her. When she was 15 she got a job, and just saved her money. We'd buy the basic wardrobe for her (not name brand), and she was perfectly happy w/that. She only got a cell phone when she went off to college in another state.

If any of my other kids want to nickle and dime us, they will work for their wants.

Now if I could just keep food in the house.....

[Peppermint Leaf]

our son is 17 --- and we made him get a job when he turned 16... his passion is computers and games etc ... I was not willing to buy all that stuff .. he now buys his own. .. he hates shopping so he just wears whatever I buy him - never much into name brands .... however he is growing so fast (6`3) so I am lucky he likes jeans and t shirts

[lifeguard]

I agree wtih the job idea.

As well, when I was a teen my mom (single mom) sat us down with the budget & showed us how much she made & what all the expenses were. It was a real eye opener 'cause as a teenager you have NO clue what it costs to keep the house going. After that we never asked for extras 'cause we understood that it just wasn't possible (we were incredibly tight at the time & I remember offering my mom my paycheques to help out).

I think to by giving them a peak at the family finances it helps to start to prepare them for real life.

[Knittin' in the Shade]

when I red the title, I thought this was going to be about how do you manage to afford FEEDING them, LOL! At least, that's going to be my biggest concern when mine hit teenage years, since I've got 4 boys. I am already shuddering at the thought of what it's going to cost to feed them!

as for wants and needs - we've already begun to work on this with our older two boys by talkign with them about budgets and what we're willing to pay for things. For example, our oldest has wanted a bike for a while now - a specific, expensive bike. We told him that we weren't willing to buy that bike, but that we were willing to buy him a bike - so we determined what the cost of a bike would be, and told him he had to earn the rest (through saving birthday/Christmas money, odd jobs around the house, etc) He's been saving all the money he's gotten, and was thisclose to being able to afford the bike, when one of DH's uncles asked him if he wanted one of their big boy's bikes that he's outgrown. I thought for sure he'd say no because he'd wanted to other bike for so long and had worked hard for it, so I was pleseantly surprised when he said "A Free Bike?! Heck yeah, I'll take that! I worked way to hard for the rest of the money to spend it now when I can get one for free!" So now he's saving the money for something else, and totally loving his hand-me-down bike

[jentilla]

Hmm. No teens yet, but I WILL NOT allow them to work during school session and we are homeschooling. They may volunteer and work during the summer. I worked from 11 on and my grades suffered b/c I was always working and my parents though that was a great thing. Problem was I was not taught about money and just blew it on everything from clothes to jewlery to buying food, etc. I was way too preoccupied with having what everyone else had which is just sad. Education is very important so I feel like that should be their focus not clothes and stuff. I'm sure I will hear complaints, but oh well I do now, lol.

[Norasmomma]

I also say a job, but have you ever gone to Ross for clothes? There are name brands of all kinds of clothes and they are WAY cheaper than all the biggie stores teens like. I remember at Christmas last year a woman in line was saying how her DD wanted a sweatshirt at Pac Sun and it was $40 there and $15 at Ross, which is 2 doors down. She was so happy to give her daughter that present and afford it.

I had a job as a teen and it made me realize that $$ doesn't grow on trees and working for something made it have more value to me. I always have been a thrifty shopper, cruised the sale racks, because I was(well am) a girl who liked her clothes AND wanted a good deal, because if I got good deals I could get more than if not.