Why don't you take responsibility for the situation and keep a cooler of acceptable snacks packed in the fridge for your child--it would be easy to portion up something healthy and perhaps a container of cold water and just have it at the ready for when a playdate comes up. This would work for even spur of the moment playdates. Then explain to your child that he isn't allowed to eat the neighbor's food, but that his snack bag has something yummy in it for him. If you aren't going to be there for every moment of the playdate the onus falls on you to be clear with yourself and your child how to handle the hospitality of the neighbor. And I'll bet it does feel like hospitality to her, despite the food being not what you would wish for your child.
The secondary issue here is one of being polite and gracious when you are a guest in someone's home. There is an opportunity to teach your child to politely follow your rules and say no thank you. No lectures. Just politely decline, say thank you, and be grateful for the friendship.
The secondary issue here is one of being polite and gracious when you are a guest in someone's home. There is an opportunity to teach your child to politely follow your rules and say no thank you. No lectures. Just politely decline, say thank you, and be grateful for the friendship.
