Im Going Mad!!!

[onlyAngil]

OK to start I am not really sure if this goes here... If not, Mod please moved!

I have a friend that I am trying... to my wits end... to help. We have been friend since my mid teens.

She have a 4month DS. She has a somewhat supportive DP, who works all week and most weekend. There for leaving her with the baby most of the time. She works every Sat and sometimes a few other days. Tween the two of them they do not have much $$ or so she says. She formal feeds (DR says she has to if she is on BC, HDP wants her on BC, and she "dose not know what she wants", uses disposables (HDP wont "let" her use cloth and ECing grosses her out), wont use a sling (HDP dose not think it safe, and wont "let" her) and will not put the baby one the floor ("they aren't clean")... but calls me saying how she dose not know what to do with herself or her baby, that she has work to do, that she dose not have time to clean, and how HDP will be mad at her if she dose not get her (job) work done due to the face that he is her boss. >.< I feel trapped, I want to help her. I ask her 100% time to come here and spend time with us, HOPING that something night rub off, but he will not "let" her.

I do not get in the middle of a relationship, but good god.

What things can I suggest for her to get things done with her little one. Right now they are watching TV... you know that "good" stuff >.< i feel I am about to lost a good friend over something that I should not.

[Ironica]

It sounds like the big problem is that she's in a relationship with a very controlling person. Either she can sling the baby and get something done, or she can sit on the couch all day and get nothing done. He doesn't get it both ways. But... she's got to be in a place where she can tell him that. All you can really do is support her, so maybe she finds the strength to do it.

[mommathea]

I agree that is sounds like a bad controlling relationship. Where there's a will there's a way. If you want to clean your house bad enough then you will do it.

[texmama]

A baby bjorn type carrier might help her out, that would probably seem more secure to her husband - or even better a mai tai (though they are a bit spendy, but wonderful!). Or a back pack carrier would work for her too.