Also from a singleton mum here, some of the last quotes on why it's hard with twins really do go hand in hand with two babies ten months apart. The amount of times I held two crying babies as I tried to balance bottle feed one of them and b'feed the other, the amount of times I had to buggy them both because my body was conked out after two pregnancies close together, the touched out feeling that had me hiding from them in the bathroom and screaming at my dh, ( you never had that!?!
), to go get teats and formula for the younger of the two, ( older had special formula for milk intolerance), the amount of places I couldn't go and people I couldn't see was incredible. I sacked the washable nappies, b'feeding, slings for the most part, co sleeping for a brief while because everyone was telling me those things were what was making life hard for me - but the fact was I had two babies !!!in a very different combination to twins!!! but still two babies who were non verbal and entirely dependant on me for everything. It was mental, and reflecting on that time makes me more scared about the practical prospect of twins than I can believe. I'm putting some of that experience forward here just because I beg you not to blow out another 'closely spaced siblings' mother who needs a HUG because she's melted out!!!
When mothers of multiples blank/ jeer the mothers struggling alongside them because they *don't* have multiples it seems almost as sad as those who speak as if they **know exactly** what it's like to have twins/ more.
Of course it's impossible to know
- but maybe the mothers wanting/ making comments are actually just looking for moral support??? I don't know - some jealousy seems hard hitting and turns into a malicious envy where you feel they want you to suffer/ lose what you have, but mostly I think it's awe and wonder - that's beautiful
All our parenting combinations have special factors to them, and I think it's not about what is the same/ better/ harder/easier - mainly mothers go to other mothers looking for camaraderie and a nodding hug of support. I hope we can all offer that in whatever state we feel towards how others feel iykwim.
Also, re: the 'my HCG levels are mega high/ my uterus is huge' comments - to me that's another example of genuine enquiry. It's much nicer to approach another mama and ask that stuff than sit googling it all night as you panic about what's going on in your body!!!
I guess, to go all philosophical, if we all felt more prostrate to every other mother, ( human!?!), we'd always interpret their comments as honorable and worthy of note because they stem from what's going on inside their heart.
I think I've gone waaay OT and probably ruined the gist of the thread, but hey, you'll forgive me !?!
DocsNemesis - that's cos it hasn't sunk in for her yet. lol.