DH/DP - how are they doing?

[Kylahroo]

The first 45 minutes of Juniper's life were spent in daddy's arms (while I was being put back together). They bonded very well, very quickly.

For her first week, she would take 3 hour naps with him in the sling.

She'll be 3 weeks old tomorrow and her attraction to dh has lessened with every day.

He's frustrated. I keep reminding him that all of our kids have done this. They've always been much more comforted by me. Not just because of the nursing, but because of the nursing. Does that make sense? We spend a lot of time together and, thus, I'm able to comfort her more often (and more quickly).

As far as I'm concerned, so long as he's able to care for the other children and run the rest of the house, I don't mind meeting her needs 24/7. But he wishes he could comfort her so that I could have a break once in a while.

Not really looking for advice here. I know this is normal (at least for us and our kids). Just wanted to see how the other dh's/dp's are doing!

[SillyMommy]

I think that's normal, too, hasn't happened to us yet but I'm sure it will. It usually comes about when they're a few months old, no?

[catholicmama]

My husband will hold baby for like 5 minutes before he starts screaming to nurse. Nothing makes him happy except nursing....... drives me crazy b/c I would love a break. I guess when he gets older.....

[BaMo]

Well DH had to go back to work today. That's right a whopping 4 days of paternity leave. He had a hard time leaving his son and me. Plus, I had a horrible time with him being gone.

[BirthFree]

DH is doing great, and she adores him. He knows the way of the nursing routine - she will be Daddy's girl NO DOUBT, he has no fear about it. It'll happen, but the first 3m 'belong' to the one who serves Num. It'll be uneven the rest of my life, I'll take what I can get for bonding now. It helps we're co-sleeping - we're all in close proximity so I think DH enjoys that a lot too - even if I'm doing all the night caring (or most of it).

[Kylahroo]

Originally Posted by BirthFree

DH is doing great, and she adores him. He knows the way of the nursing routine - she will be Daddy's girl NO DOUBT, he has no fear about it. It'll happen, but the first 3m 'belong' to the one who serves Num. It'll be uneven the rest of my life, I'll take what I can get for bonding now. It helps we're co-sleeping - we're all in close proximity so I think DH enjoys that a lot too - even if I'm doing all the night caring (or most of it).

For us, the transition to "daddy's girl" or "daddy's boy" is around a year. I get 12 months, then dh gets the rest. So I eat it up right now! Co-sleeping really does help, although he'd like to snuggle with her, but is afraid she'll wake up. We don't really know her well enough yet and haven't risked it!

[*Karen*]

DH tries really hard, but DD just likes boobies. DS was the same way. He actually does much better with DD than he did with DS though. Sometimes she just gets frustrated when she gets really sleepy and he can get her to sleep on his shoulder. She prefers a shoulder to sleep on than nursing to sleep, which is totally new to me because nursing was my cure all with DS and it doesn't always work with her! I think their bonding right after birth has helped a lot. I'm not surprised at all that she prefers me though, DS did the same thing for about the first 15 months.

[Nimbus]

Our little one is not even 4 days old yet, but things are going pretty well. DH gets a little frustrated when he's unsuccessful at calming dd and she immediately quiets after he hands her to me. I try to remind him it will just take time -- she's had 9+ months of knowing my body chemistry, voice and movements, etc... I know he'll develop his own bag of tricks that will work for her. I think he's starting to believe that, too.

Co-sleeping isn't going so well -- dh is a super heavy sleeper and I'm too scared to have dd in between us. (It's not unusual for him to roll over on me, or bump me in the face with the back of his hand as he rolls over.) The one time I've put her between us to nurse on left side while I was laying down, he hit her in the back of the head on accident. So, I guess she'll be confined to my side of the bed. I'll have to master nursing from both breast while lying only on my right side. Any tips?

[Kylahroo]

Originally Posted by Nimbus

So, I guess she'll be confined to my side of the bed. I'll have to master nursing from both breast while lying only on my right side. Any tips?

This is the only way I've ever nursed at night. What tips are you looking for?

[Lizafava]

Originally Posted by Nimbus

So, I guess she'll be confined to my side of the bed. I'll have to master nursing from both breast while lying only on my right side. Any tips?

I don't know how women with smaller breasts do it, but I just kind of roll over a bit more and nurse that way. I hate it though, and its really uncomfortable for me.

Would a king size bed help? DP stays over on his side, now that we have the room. I know some people will put a firm pillow barricade between DP and baby, but you'd need enough bed real estate for that.

[ColwynsMommy]

My husband's doing great with Fiona. Sometimes he's even better at soothing her.. probably because he has to be more creative and can't just offer her a boob. Although now that we've introduced a bottle, he's enjoying getting to feed her occasionally.

He was just telling me today about how when we're alone with Fiona in public (we've taken just her to the grocery store and out to dinner, while my boys got some quality time with their grandparents), he feels the need to tell people that we have older kids, that we're not first time parents, that we're actually quite experienced. It cracks me up.. but I'm glad that he's proud of his parenting skills--he should be!

He also still gets a big kick out of telling people the story of our surprise UC, and how he kept his wits about him and caught Fiona and all. We saw our only friends who have had a homebirth (they're almost like our mentors, heh), and he had such a cute, nonchalant smile when the dad said, "So, how much were you panicking when you realized the midwife wasn't going to make it?" I'm so proud of him for being such a great dad and husband (and midwife).

[Kylahroo]

Originally Posted by ColwynsMommy

He was just telling me today about how when we're alone with Fiona in public (we've taken just her to the grocery store and out to dinner, while my boys got some quality time with their grandparents), he feels the need to tell people that we have older kids, that we're not first time parents, that we're actually quite experienced. It cracks me up.. but I'm glad that he's proud of his parenting skills--he should be!

We get this way, too! Whenever we're out with just 1 or 2, we always find it amusing when people assume we're new parents. The shock when they find out we have five is hilarious!