or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Birth and Beyond › Unassisted Childbirth › My UC did not go as planned
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

My UC did not go as planned

post #1 of 27
Thread Starter 


On the 24 my contractions picked up to about 5 min apart. I was only 4 cm dialated, so me and dh decided to go for a walk. We were almost home when I thought my water broke. But when we got home, it was blood. So we left for the hospital.

They tried telling me that my cervix had dialated fast and that all the blood was from that (yeah, I'm not stupid thankyou)...after a very fast tramatic labor, my suspitions were confirmed that my placenta had started to pull away. My body did exactly what it should in that situation and I deliverd very quickly. The hospital staff was horrible, rude, pushy, ignorant. At one point I made it clear that I did not want the cord clamped and cut untill after delivery, unless absolutly nessesary...they argued with me saying, if we didn't clamp the cord the baby would bleed out.... I didn't want my water broke....their argument.."but, you can't deliver if the water hasn't broke"..... I usually don't push, I pant and let my body deliver the baby....instead I had three woman yelling at me to push and then as soon as his head was out they pulled him the rest of the way, then pulled my placenta out. I understand that they were concerned about the bleeding and wanted to get him out as fast as possible.

In the end we are both okay. I'm concerned about my uterus prolapsing, esspesially with how rough they were, and we will be taking our baby to the chiropractor and the ND this week for a full work up...I'm sure he is out of allighnment...I'm also thinking that we will have to take him to someone who can help put his skull in the right order, his head is really misshapen.

I am veryhappyto have him here. He is so precious. He weigh in at 7 lbs 2oz. He has lots of hair....most of it on his back...lol. He is so mellow and he kinda makes me think of a professor with the concerned look he allways carries. He is very snuggly, and a pro breastfeeder. We named him Barak Micheal. (Barak pronoucned "bear-ik").

My emotions are up and down right now. I know I made the right move by going to the hospital. I did need pitocin to stop the bleeding, and she did have to pull some clots out....but I'm depressed. This may be my last baby...I feel like I missed out on something. I've done my best to keep it in the back of my mind and just focus on my new bundle and my family...but I just feel like me and my husband were robbed of an experiance that could have been amazing. This is actually the first time that I've expressed how upset I've been about this. I want to talk to dh about it, but I don't know if he could understand.

Well, the booby beast is calling again, so I better run.
post #2 of 27
I'm sorry you didn't get the birth that you wanted. I just wanted to offer you hugs!
post #3 of 27
and congratulations
post #4 of 27
Tender hugs mama!Welcome little Barak!Thank you so much for sharing your story, it needs to be shared.
post #5 of 27
Big hugs. I transferred after a homebirth of my (likely) last baby and nearly 9m later, I am still healing from it. I've done a lot of writing, talking, thinking. I've questioned my decision from every angle. I send you big hugs. Healing can be a long process, and please don't listen to anyone who says "At least you have a healthy baby." That is the most unhelpful thing to hear.
post #6 of 27
I am sorry you did not get your UC, but at least you did what was necessary.

That is the great thing about UCing, you listen to your body and do what is necessary. And the great thing about medical intervention, it is there when you need it. Sorry they were rough and rude with you, that was uncalled for.

post #7 of 27
So sorry, mama! Congratulations on Baby Barak!
post #8 of 27
Congratulations and welcome to your sweet baby! So sorry that it didn't go as you had planned... Allow yourself to process each emotion as it comes - it can be confusing to feel relieved and joyful and disappointed and angry all at once, but that's just the nature of the postpartum time. Take care of yourself and enjoy Barak!

I hate that they were rude to you.
post #9 of 27
Welcome to your sweet baby boy! I'm so sorry that things didn't go as planned.
post #10 of 27
WOW. So glad you are all okay. The absolute ignorance, not to mention lack of respect, or some doctors and nurses is just astounding.
post #11 of 27


Congratulations on your new addition to the family! Welcome Barak!

I, too, am sorry to hear your UC didn't go as planned. I'm also very sorry they did not treat you well at the hospital. I know you said this is the first time talking about it to anyone and you feel your dh might not understand, but I would talk to him, even if he doesn't understand from a female/mother perspective. My dh often times doesn't understanding a lot of what I try to tell him, but he's an excellent listener, even if he has no idea how to relate or what to say. He always has a listening ear and I appreciate that beyond words can express! Just having someone to vent to really helps me sort out my feelings and helps me to heal, so I can move on. So try talking to your dh, even if he doesn't understand. It may help you sort out and vent your feelings, but it may also help your dh to understand and know how to support you on this.

You did great mama!
post #12 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by DoomaYula View Post
Big hugs. I transferred after a homebirth of my (likely) last baby and nearly 9m later, I am still healing from it. I've done a lot of writing, talking, thinking. I've questioned my decision from every angle. I send you big hugs. Healing can be a long process, and please don't listen to anyone who says "At least you have a healthy baby." That is the most unhelpful thing to hear.
:
Heck, 9 YEARS later I still have my moments about my first birth. I've healed, but there are moments when I still look back and have strong emotions regarding the whole thing.

I am glad you and your baby are well, and congratulations.
post #13 of 27
I'm glad you and your babe are safe and sound.
post #14 of 27
congrats !! i'm sorry your UC didn't go as planned. Hearing your experience at the hospital just pushes me even more to UC.
post #15 of 27
Be gentle with yourself and allow time to greive. It's OK to be both glad and thankful you made the choices you made and received the help you did and also be unhappy you had to do those things.

Congratulations on your sweet bundle of joy!
post #16 of 27
Congratulations on your new baby!!!

for having to transfer

Big and a "GO YOU!!!" for recognizing a need to transfer and doing so ASAP.

:: at the hospital and tugging on the placenta. : that your uterus still recovers promptly.

Meanwhile, rest up and snuggle your babe.
post #17 of 27
Im so sorry. I have been in your shoes - only I ended up with a section. It sucks bad - nomatter you did everything "right" and it can be so painful reading everyones perfect birthstories after something like that. Be gentle to yourself - allow yourself to grieve the way things didnt go - its a loss of something that was precious to you. I am happy to hear you and baby are both ok. You did all the right things - Im sorry they treated you that way at hospital. Sending you lots of thoughts
post #18 of 27

you can deliver with waters intact!

I feel so angry when ever I read about a hospital birth were they shout lies and ignorance at a woman in labor, and every hospital birth story I've read is like this. My second son, who's birth story I'm going to post ASAP, was born with waters intact, or "in the caul" as some midwifes call it. My waters bulged out of my vagina and stayed intact until the force of my emerging baby broke them. This water birth healed me after my first birth expierance in the hospital. I came away from my hospital birth with feelings of regret and anger, I felt tramatized and cheated! I also felt very ignorant when I realized just how wrong my son's birth was by learning how amazing it could have been. Birth stories are so important!! We learn and teach eachother so much!I'm sorry that you didn't get the birth you wanted, but I'm very glad you and your child are ok. Maybe this is a sign that you aren't done having children, that you ideal Unassisted Homebirth is still in your future. Thank you for sharing your story!
post #19 of 27
Thread Starter 
Thank you everyone for you kind responses. Its nice to have a place to talk about this stuff. I've already had a few people say "well, at least you and baby is fine and that is all that matters"....I feel like screaming when I hear that. Yes, the most important thing is that me and barak are fine....but that is not all that matters. I'm angry, I'm hurt. The birth of a child can be a very intamate and streangthening factor in a relationship. Me and my dh have gone thorugh so much in the past several years. We were both looking forward to this. And we were both treated like dirt, and dh was pushed to the side like stranger at his own childs birth. He was denyed the right to deliver his child, to be the first to hold his baby.

I did talk to dh about it. And I'm releived and surpirsed to hear that he understands. He said that he felt like he didn't do a good job standing up for me. Saying that he should have done this and should have said that. I want to do something. I want people to see the differance. I plan on putting a video of my homebirth with my daughter from last year, and showing the contrast with this birht. It may take a while. I'm not ready to watch this video. My MIL did say that she watched both videos, and that she was very disturbed by the differance. I keep thinking about the birth...what I can recall, and I get really upset, so I don't think I'm ready to watch it yet.

I keep asking myself.....why did God give me such a peace, and so much confermation about having a homebirth...only for this to happen? I've dwelt on that the past few days. At one point I had to say to myself, something that I've told so many people before "time is a tapistry, and only God can see the whole result. I can only see the current thread and weave that is being made. Its part of a bigger picture, and I have to trust that." And tellimg myslef that has made me stand back and realize that this may be the push I need to really stand and allow God to use me to make the changes that he wishes to make within a family. I desire to see families restored. I desire to see men step up and be the godly leaders in their families, loving and nurturing and leading their families the way they were ment to. There are many things that have lead to men falling off their place. Fathering has become nothing more then babysitting when needed...or even less then that, providing for the family is a joke, laying their life down for their family is an inconvenance. A birth of a child allows a man to be a father, to he a husband. Guiding, loving, suppporting, and protecting his wife through a time like labor can impower him and her and their relastionship.

I see that so many families are broken. Child birth is just one peice that is boken. I desire to see a complete reform. Maybe this is what I needed to really trust God to guide me through that.


(on a side note, my husband asked me..."so what do we need to do for you to become a midwife?" when I told him, he said, "well, lets make it happen". I feel so blessed that he sees that I have a purpose and that he is willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen. I know that he has dreams and desires, but he is willing to put that off to see me acheave mine. I feel really blessed.


Also, my uterus has prolapsed a bit, but I am on a exercise routine to begin correcting that. We were told to wait a week or two before taking barak to the chiro. But he is keeping his neck tilted to the right, and the front plate of his skull is still shifted off the the right as well. I've also noticed, that when he sleeps sometimes he squeals in his sleep, then starts panting really fast. I have him in a sling, so I just talk to him till he stops, but it is weird because I've never seen any of my kids to that. Do they dream that early? It happens during what I'm pretty sure is his REM cycle (when his eyes are moving back and forth in a rapid motion). Its almost like he is having a bad dream?
post #20 of 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by daughteroftruth View Post
Do they dream that early? It happens during what I'm pretty sure is his REM cycle (when his eyes are moving back and forth in a rapid motion). Its almost like he is having a bad dream?
I can't answer the above but it reminded me: My 14yo DD told me that she remembered being about 6 months old. I had been telling her about camping on the fourth of July when she was almost that age (she was born in January). I started telling her about when she was in a baby seat and I saw a horsefly land on her arm. She watched it, (it was near the inner part of her elbow), then bent her arm and squished it. She helped finish the story and told me that she remembered that. She said she was watching the fly and wondering what would happen if she squished it - only she didn't have those words in her brain. She said her brain seemed empty, like not very many memories were in it.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Unassisted Childbirth
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Birth and Beyond › Unassisted Childbirth › My UC did not go as planned