Originally Posted by U2can
From my own journal -written a year ago...
So, defend the man, if you will, you aren't the first to do so. Just be aware of the long term damage that is happening to these children.
What do you want her to do. Blessed is not responsible for these children first of all, your anger is better directed at their mother, not their aunt who is concerned and said something directly to this father about his actions on that first night.
Believe it or not there are loving and well intentioned parents in the world who <gasp> also have anger issues. I trust that Blessed being in the same home with this family has a lot more equip to describe this father than any of us hearing about the situation.
I don't know what kind of help we are supplying Blessed by telling her she isn't doing enough.
My BIL is very much like the Father discussed in this thread. My Mom did everything that is being suggested Blessed do, and we didn't see my niece for 4 years and I didn't know my sister had my nephew until he was 5 months old (threw gossip, my sister didn't tell us).
I patched up that relationship with my sister, and we're very close now. She divorced her husband, and despite that fact that his anger is not healthy for anybody, he is also a loving dad.
My ex-BIL was raised in a bone chilling abusive home, way beyond abusive and into the area of sadistic. In his mind he is not abusive, because his kids aren't subjected to the same life and his kids have never been hit.
I learned in my experience with my sister (who cut off contact with us, not her husband. Her husband actually encouraged her to try to get back in contact with us). If you push on a person they usually push away, if you are a good example (which is the relationship I have now with my sister) they come to you.
When the person is doing nothing legally wrong, and we all know your not going to get anywhere with an intervention, I think modeling a better way of life, AND starting better contact with this family is the way to go.
Blessed I truly do believe your doing the best you can.
I know we all want to protect kids, but it's a process, it's not a ambush.