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So DH and I dtd...  

post #1 of 27
6/29/08 at 6:12pm
Thread Starter 
It didn't hurt but I guess I need more time to "bounce back". I was really....well, whats the best word..."open"? And dry too I'm kinda bummed. But dd is only 3 weeks old after all....I guess I shouldn't expect miracles. Anyone else in this boat? I'm terrified this is permanent!
post #2 of 27
6/29/08 at 7:03pm
Wow you are a braver woman than me....ds2 is 2.5 weeks and my flow is still heavy enough that DTD is out of the question. He really wants to, but its a no go for me.
post #3 of 27
6/29/08 at 7:41pm
We've been thinking about it. Due to the cesarean, I have no "damage" down there. My flow is nothing some days and heavy other days. There's no way to predict it (although it's heavier the days I'm busier). I'm thinking we will sooner rather than later and probably not wait for the standard "six weeks".
post #4 of 27
6/29/08 at 10:04pm
I remember feeling like that the first time we had sex after ds2 was born. DOn't worry you do bounce back, it just takes time for your muscles to regain elasticity. I'm sure kegels would speed it up............
post #5 of 27
6/29/08 at 10:19pm
Whew... you are a lot braver than I am! No way I am going there for a while. I remember that when we did about 8 weeks PP with DS that it was still a little "open." It got better, but never the same.
post #6 of 27
6/29/08 at 10:55pm
I've always waited until 6 weeks (after getting the 'okay' from my OB), and never had a problem. If anything, it seemed a little tight. Maybe waiting a few more weeks will help?

My midwife told me this time that the reason to wait isn't necessarily because of stitches or anything, it's to give your cervix time to heal. I know I feel fine on the outside, but I really have no clue how my cervix is doing so I'll definitely wait another three weeks.
post #7 of 27
6/29/08 at 11:52pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama Poot View Post
It didn't hurt but I guess I need more time to "bounce back". I was really....well, whats the best word..."open"? And dry too
Wow you are a much braver woman than I am! Ok so I'm only 1 week out, but I can't imagine DTD in another 2 weeks! Then again, we probably DTD 10 times during weeks 39 and 40 of pregnancy to try and get labor going (didn't work) so I'm not too desperate. The dry thing is probably from breastfeeding more than anything - I even had that after my c-section.
post #8 of 27
6/30/08 at 12:04am
Between lack of sleep and wanting adequate time for my stitches to do their thing, there's no way anything's happening down there until at least a month pp. I have a weird inability to do Kegel's so, whatever state my whooptie-doo is in will have to be okay.
post #9 of 27
6/30/08 at 1:18am
I'm waiting as long as I can Having a baby is like a get out of jail free card! Not that my sex life is bad, but you ykwim!

I really would use caution having sex that soon. Your cervix is still up to infections and such. We dtd 3 weeks pp with dd1 and it was horrible for me.
post #10 of 27
6/30/08 at 1:27am
Well we'll just use a condom if we get the inkling, but I have a hard time imagining that happening without laughing a little. Poor DH doesn't get a whole lot of love from me in *that* way for a bit. For me, if the placenta attachment heals up and my flow stops, I'd be game (with coconut oil to help the dry-possibilities), but right now, I've got so many things a part of me that are odd (a baby nursing a thousand times a day/night, breast pads b/c I leak, pads b/c I'm bleeding some still and whatever else...), I don't feel myself yet.

But if you try again, use some coconut oil as lubricant, it's super gentle and natural and doesn't get sticky or anything weird.

Most of all, be gentle with yourself, it's still really early.
post #11 of 27
6/30/08 at 1:05pm
Thread Starter 
I guess Im just surprised, it wasnt like this after I had my other two ( although we waited 8 weeks after ds1 because i had stitches) I guess I'llhave to do my kegels We normally use KY jelly but I soaked it right up and it was useless. anyone recommend something else?
post #12 of 27
6/30/08 at 2:37pm
Oh wow, you are a brave mama. DH and I won't be dtd for a long, long time. I still feel terrible down there, but dd's birth was a little rough during the pushing stage.

As for lube, we use this stuff called "wet" it is the only lube that I have found that actually stays wet and doesn't get all sticky or stop working really quickly.
post #13 of 27
6/30/08 at 3:15pm
I'm w/ Birthfree--just too many odd things going on right now. All the things she mentioned, and, as of a few days ago--being week three, my bleeding seems to have ceased but my flora/discharge is still really strange/not normal at this point. Not in a bad way, just in a not-ready-for sex and play kind of way, lol. I'm much more in tune this time around then I ever was w/ my other three and I think the longest we waited w/ them was day 10! I'd just really like for our "first time" to be for both of us, not just him. I have been doing favors for him to hold him over, tho.

And wow, how to have sex w/ a 24/7 attached newborn again? I've forgotten!
post #14 of 27
6/30/08 at 4:42pm
Yeah, how does one accomplish that ladyelms???
post #15 of 27
6/30/08 at 4:48pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by ladyelms View Post
And wow, how to have sex w/ a 24/7 attached newborn again? I've forgotten!
What, can't figure that one out? The baby's sandwiched right in between, of course! Just like a few weeks ago! :
post #16 of 27
6/30/08 at 5:15pm
Luckily, DTD was excellent. After DS2 it was so-so, but this time it was almost like I hadn't had a baby at all, I enjoyed it. Too bad the we can rarely find the time to do it.
post #17 of 27
6/30/08 at 7:26pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kylahroo View Post
What, can't figure that one out? The baby's sandwiched right in between, of course! Just like a few weeks ago! :
That is so not a turn on Tanya!
post #18 of 27
6/30/08 at 7:39pm
after ds was born we were kissing and well it lead into DTD at 2 weeks postpartum. Things went surprisingly well then. . . after dd2 we waited standard 6 weeks, I'm not sure where we will be this time but I don't feel umm closed up enough either and I've actually looked in a mirror I think I will be kegaling for the next few weeks religously . Anyway after 4 I'm so worried about this. . .I googled it and everyone said not back to before but close within 4-10 weeks.
post #19 of 27
6/30/08 at 9:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustVanessa View Post
That is so not a turn on Tanya!
Believe me, I know! I was totally kidding! My point being I don't know how any of you DTD with a marathon nurser!
post #20 of 27
6/30/08 at 9:31pm
GREAT thread!!

Tomorrow is 2 weeks and its totally on my mind! I'm even having fun dreams! :P

I waited 5weeks and six days the first baby...and it wasn't too great...I too was worried I'd forever be the GRAND canyon... 2nd baby I think we waited 5-6 weeks...

I'm tempted to give it a shot, but dh isn't convinced... he doesn't want to mess things up...LOL
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