Originally Posted by violet_
I've done exactly that before, and it worked perfectly (as in, she quit fussing for her mom and stopped that tactic for the time being), but then I posted about it here and the Mommy Police jumped all over me for it.
While I don't think the "Mommy Police" should have "jumped all over" you for it, I do think that that particular response should be avoided for a number of reasons.
First, if the goal is indeed to convey the message that house "rules" are to be obeyed, there is absolutely no need to bring the other house's rules into the mix. Even when those rules are the same.
Second, there is too much scope for it to veer out of control into a not-so-good place:
What would you do if the child decided to call you on it and ask to call the other parent? Would you really want to follow through on your offer? If you don't follow through, you undermine yourself.
But if you do follow through, it could work but that comes with risks too:
What if the rules turn out to be different? Not over the first "issue" so much but over a future issue once you've set the precedent of "you only have to do it if it's required at the other house as well"?
What if one day, for some reason (no matter how irrational), the other parent gets a bee up their bonnet and refuses to "back you up"? Or actively decides to undermine you even if the rule in question is theoretically the same in both houses? Then, you're really up a creek. And you've handed someone with a bee up their bonnet a whole heck of a lot of control over your house rules...
Honestly, I think the best option is some variation on a completely neutral, no reference to the other house, as close to ignoring it as possible: "Ok. Now, brush your teeth [or whatever]."
As tempting as they are (and boy are they tempting! DD's pulled that one on me once or twice), sarcastic replies are probably best avoided, too. If only because they show that a button got pushed. (And because in the heat of the moment they could/might cross the line into snark about the other house.)