Mean DH rant

[HulaJenn]

I am so sad right now. DH has apparently been really nice to me in that he has given me "a week off" (by that he means not bugging me for sex). What a samaritan. The excrutiating heartburn and pelvic discomfort the last week apparently had nothing to do with it? He got all sulky tonight when I said no and then started being generally mean - "the tv is too loud, are you doing that on purpose?" "Why are you still awake -you were so tired you had a nap earlier, why don't you try sleeping at night?" Etc.....So I am crying and he is sleeping. I think I've been so much more accomodating than most during pregnancy when it comes to sex. I know what kind of "drought" there is to come (the what, 6 week wait?) so if I had the inclination I would totally give it up, but when he turns into a slefish child it makes it really hard to want to go there! I compromise and do it when I don't feel like it at times, but choking on stomach acid while being jostled just isn't my idea of compromise at the moment. Sorry if I am sharing too much, but it is late and I am really sad and needed to vent to someone.
Anyway, he works early in the a.m. and I am the one that wakes up to the alarm to get him up (otherwise he needs to crank it loud). I am tempted to sleep on the couch and have him "accidentally" sleep in, but of course I am a better person than that.
Hope everyone else is having a good evening.

[devilish_fetish]

[Kidzaplenty]

So frustrating when your DH acts more like the baby. Mine does that occasionally.

If it were me, I would sleep on the couch anyways!

[jenniferadurham]

I vote sleep on the couch...

"oh honey I'm sorry...I WAS so tired that I just fell asleep...guess that nap didn't help me..."

[Snugglebugsmom]

I'm sorry your husband is being so insensitive.
I would definitely point out to him that he's being very childish and also very aggressive and manipulative!!! I'm a big fan of honesty in a relationship, so I'd be really blunt about it, without trying to be mean back (although that can be tempting, lol).
It is not okay for him to treat you like this. Perhaps you can let him know that you'd be more than happy to discuss alternate ways of "fooling around" that don't involve your stomach acids AFTER you feel good about being with him again.
I haven't been feeling up to sex either for some time now, mostly because I feel awkward with my huge belly in the way. Dh has not been pressuring me, which is nice. 2 days ago he was really in the mood for it, though, and he's the kind of guy who does not take NO for an answer. But he's absolutely never rough or mean about it, and does not throw temper tantrums, either. Instead, he uses all of his available charm and gets me to laugh, and then I usually just let him "win".
That is not to say he is never passive-aggressive about other things, though. And I completely hate it when he does try to be manipulative with me, because it's so immature. I can usually deal with it really well by just not taking the bait and staying calm, but as pregnant as I am these days, my coping skills are not what they used to be, and it takes very little to make me cry. So, I totally understand how rough this must be for you. Not to mention lonely considering he is sound asleep without a care in the world, and you are staying up crying because you're upset! I hope you can get some rest, and that things will look better in the morning. He may even apologize without you asking him to! And if there's anything about this that is positive it has to be that your husband is obviously very attracted to you, and missing the closeness the two of you have shared in the past. Maybe he feels rejected by you, and you can remind him that it's really hard for you, too, and that this is not a permanent situation.
Hope you feel better soon!

[kalamos23]

I'm sorry your DH is acting like that... Just as an FYI (and hopefully this isn't true with your DH, but I noticed it with mine) alternative ways of prostaglandin absorption *grin* give me horrible heartburn as well, between the leaning over and the actual prostaglandins - so you might want to try something other than that.

[Spark]

I'm so sorry that this is causing such strife for the both of you right now. I hope you can find a way to work together to get both your needs met and feel closer together as a couple while awaiting your babe.

[HulaJenn]

Well this morning he snuggled up to me after I graciously woke him up for his alarm, and he said he had a dream that he made me cupcakes and that he loved me (not that he dreamt he loved me LOL). SO I guess that was his apology (although I would've preferred the REAL kind of cupcakes! LOL). Part of our argument last night was me totally being honest about how I thought he was behaving and how I was feeling - he just doesn't get it. I could indeed compromise and do stuff that doesn't require the jostling but again, his attitude sometimes doesn't make me feel inclined to do anything to help him out.
Anyway, it will work itself out, I just needed to vent last night and I thank you ladies for listening and your advice and support!

[nubianamy]

I'm sorry he's being so insensitive.

My DH hasn't asked me for sex pretty much this whole year, so I can't say I can relate.

[Kidzaplenty]

Sometimes a little venting is all you need to get you through.

I am glad you are feeling better this morning!

[KerriAZ]

Jenn - I'm sorry your DH was being mean! I'm glad that he "made up" with you, though. (And re the cupcakes!!)

If you wanna make him feel better, let him know that some of us have been on pelvic rest and their DH's haven't "gotten any" in over 6 weeks - and THEN has to go through the PP period with no DTD - and his birthday, Father's Day (both in June) AND our 10 year anniversary (August 1st) all fall during pelvic rest or PP recovery time!! : See? Could be worse! Ha ha ha

[HulaJenn]

Originally Posted by KerriAZ

Jenn - I'm sorry your DH was being mean! I'm glad that he "made up" with you, though. (And re the cupcakes!!)

If you wanna make him feel better, let him know that some of us have been on pelvic rest and their DH's haven't "gotten any" in over 6 weeks - and THEN has to go through the PP period with no DTD - and his birthday, Father's Day (both in June) AND our 10 year anniversary (August 1st) all fall during pelvic rest or PP recovery time!! : See? Could be worse! Ha ha ha

Yikes! That would be a long time. I keep telling him that it could be worse and to take a poll at work at how many times the men "get it" just from non-pregnant wives after being married this long, but he refuses (cuz he knows I'm right! LOL). Sigh. He called earlier to say he had been an ass. I do feel for him because he is very "high needs", but at the same time, it shouldn't dictate the balance of our relationship- especially when his 9 month pg wife is a little cranky.

[sunnymw]

: My DH was like that with my first pregnancy, although I wasn't as accomodating as I should have been. It was rough, and it was also our first months/year being married. But we made it through just fine.



And lol @ kalamos... IKWYM. I'm almost that desperate.

[Tenk]

Ah mama, I'm sorry. I was ticked off at my DH on Sunday and Monday too. They just say the stupidest things sometimes. I even told him he needed to go read my pregnancy book and understand why it's difficult to be 9 months pregnant.

I hope things are a little better today...

[Tenk]

Sorry just read the entire thread....


MMMM......CUPCAKES.....: