Originally Posted by Selesai
Hi, I'm a lurker, though I missed out on the first nine pages of this month. Right now I just need some support. DH took DD to the ped (CNP) for her checkup. She had a respiratory illness a few weeks ago at her 4 mo checkup so this was a follow-up. Because she is now healthy (aside from some nasal congestion) they gave her her 4 mo shots. Apparently she took it like a champ. But now she is CRYING CRYING CRYING. DH gave her some Tylenol which will hopefully help. DD is very laid back, this type of crying is not normal for her. I am sure DH will have a tough afternoon considering he's trying to watch DS (busy busy toddler) too.
I'm obviously really upset that I'm here at work and cannot be there to comfort DD. But mostly I am reminded that I have never really made up my mind about vaccinations. I will admit that I am a bad parent. I am a bad parent because I am lazy. I do not /cannot take the time to exhaustibly research vaccines, even though my children's health is obviously at risk. (Like I said. Bad parent.)
I think out-of-the-ordinary crying is an unacceptable effect. But if DD DID get a vaccine-"preventable" disease, she would cry and be uncomfortable then, too. What am I saving her?
Obviously this is a very complicated topic. DS is not fully vaccinated only becasue I put off the MMR/Varicella so far.
I don't know what to do. Isn't there a magic answer?
Oh Selesai, I saw your follow up post and am glad she's doing better. I'm so sorry it was so rough. Ugh it makes me worried about starting vaccines, but I think we will do so here in the next few months. Oh and by the way, it's great to see you again!!
Originally Posted by ema-adama
So I know that there are others here with rather strained relationships with their IL's, and I have my woes to vent now!
I am getting to the point where I am fantasizing about just moving far away from them... one set are arrogant rather impersonal doctors who are not supporting any of my health decisions for myself or my LO as they are not in line with their beliefs. On the other hand I have a 2nd set of IL's who are just freaking me out with smoking around my LO, and fantasizing about watching TV with him, feeding him crap and just generally doing things that I find rather offensive... and here I was fantasizing about bringing my family up with grandparents close by and a sense of family.... my parents moved far away from all family as they were the odd ones out and I always wished that I had had family around - now I think they might have been onto something.
Basically tonight was just another night in the sense that I got an email with a link to a newspaper article from MIL extolling the virtues of vax, when I have yet to give a vax and am not at all sure DS will get any. I take issue with this as there has been a huge blow up with the other IL's on this issue (I was insulted by having my intelligence questioned and basically told that I do not have the tools to decide - by doctors that so not even know that MMR is not given before one year - but that is a whole other rant) Anyway, MIL was my main source of support as I went through quite a rough time trying to figure out how to deal with such obnoxious people (FIL and his wife)... and now she has started to contradict me on whatever I say and it has gotten to the point where I just don't want to be around her or her chimney smoking husband even though I have had a really good relationship with them up till the birth of DS... another thing that really gets to me is that when we do go around, she wants to be with DS and will take him and then plug him with a paci - something that I have only been wanting to use when he 'asks' for it. And then she wants to get a paci ribbon so that it can't fall and he will always have it clipped to him and I find the idea rather strange - and unappealing! If not plugging him with a paci, she is plying him with some toy... in my experience with him he is far more interested in people and watching their facial expressions and talking to them... but she just doesn't get it.
I know that it boils down to a difference in approach... she has 3 boys who all sit on the computer/ watch TV a minimum of 12 hours a day (work and play), and one who at 20 years old never leaves his room as he is or sleeping or on the computer playing (he stopped school when he switched day and night and couldn't wake up in the mornings)and this bugs me. It just does not feel right.
And she also is a career mum who had the kids on formula and in day care ASAP and bought them every gadget that has been invented and was proud to do so. So, she just does not get me when I choose not to have flashing lights and whizzing pinging toys around DS... even could go so far as to say she suspects that I am depriving him
ARGH!!! I know these are really small issues compared to what it could be, but I have had it with IL's (and my parents, but they are half the world away) criticizing my choices as a parent... and presuming they know better when the extol CIO and infant day care and formula and G*d knows what else that is not in line with my way of thinking.
So, poor DH feels like he is stuck in the middle and I really wish he didn't. He is a peace maker/keeper and really gets upset when people he loves fight. But I really do think that people (IL's) should be respectful of my choices and preferences - I just right now see a long road ahead of me having to repeat again and again my requests to please respect my choices and it's rather crappy!
So, sobbing over... gotta catch some sleep now while Hillel sleeps
Still writing my cards - but getting there slowly
Peace to all
Well small issues or no, eda-mama, they are still issues. We were away from family for a while and now we're close to (mine) again. It's got its ups and downs, but I prefer it to being away. But then again, my family isn't giving me grief about my parenting choices (except for some minor grief). I'm sure it's got to be so hard, it's very hard to be criticized by someone who's not exactly the epitome of what they're criticizing you about.
Linda, HOLY Freaking SMOKE! What a story!! I'm surprised you even talk to the IL's after all that nonsense. Wow, wow, wow.
Jezzy, I'm sorry you're going through such a hard time with DH. I've never personally lived with someone who's got an alcohol issue, so I have no advice to give. I'm thinking of you momma.
Sarah, I'm thinking of your family and your mom. I'm so sorry that you're going through these heart troubles. But it's good that she's going to be heading home soon. Sometimes that's just the help one needs. Hospitals are icky places.
I"m sure I'm missing someone... I'm sorry I don't keep up so well ladies. But I so
I've been loving the postcards.
: I need to get mine (they will be bought, I think, I've no hand for creative pretty things). But I will try to make them pretty local pictures for you all. I'm trying to think of something special to do with them all, a posterboard (but that's not very keepable without getting banged up), maybe a little photoalbum... what are you doing with yours?
Ok, I've got a question, and I've found it hard getting it answered but maybe you all will know. It seems there's alot of info on feeding baby at newborn and food starting stages and not so much in between. I need some advice on when I'm away. Since I'm away a-working 11 hours a day for 5 days a week, I pump and she drinks the bottles while I'm gone. Well I had been making them into 2 oz bottles because that's what I figured I should do via research on Kellymom and here and whatnot. But I've been hearing lately from here or there something along the lines of: "2oz!!?!? How's that enough for her?" Well she still takes that 2 oz fairly frequently. For some reason, I never thought her stomach capacity would change all that much so, I never thought to up the bottle volume. (Stupidity? lack of research? most breastfeeding books assume the momma is with baby all day and will just naturally follow the changes?)
I have noticed in the past few weeks, that on weekends she's usually going for both breasts at a feeding, and seems to be going longer in between feedings. I usually feed her at night 1. right before/as she's going to sleep (Around 9 ish), 2.sometime in the middle of the night (around 12-1ish) and then 3 sometime around when I wake up (this one varies the most, sometimes I feed her at 3 am then about 5-5:30, other times I just have the 5-5:30 ish time when I wake up).
So perhaps I should make her bottles bigger. Fuller bottles and less of them? I"m now giving her 3 oz bottles, but considering making them 4 oz. I'm doing three because I figure it's summertime she will want to at least drink something more frequently. Or at least that's kind of how I'm looking at it. Should I go straight to four ounces? I assume she'd then take about 3 bottles in the time I'm gone. I don't know there aren't alot of resources out there on how to bottle feed EBM your 4-5 mo baby. I know alot of you are able to stay with baby most/all of the day and might not have the lived experience of knowing, but you lot seem to know things that astonish me, so I'm asking!
Other than that, I nolonger have a baby girl and instead have a baby monster. She growls and snarls alot, and thinks pig snorts are funny (DSS and DSD discovered the snorting thing). I'm doing research on vaxes because she's coming up on 6 months and I suppose if we're going to do it at all, then I need to get on the ball. (heh that rhymed).