Hello and thankyou for this thread. I'd love to join you all.
I practice tibetan buddhism. My main center of practice is Shambhala
; my root teacher is Khandro Rinpoche
I was just fortunate enough to s pend the weekend in a program with Rinpoche and she brought up patience with me directly. As she puts it, patience is not about accepting or giving in to negative situations necessarily, rather about not adding to the cumulation of negative karma through our reactivity and actions.
I had asked about selflessness in relation to being the target of aggression. She was quite clear that we should practice patience and aawreness but also to stay "away from trouble" (!), and to use wisdom to recognize when to act and when not to. She stressed the importance of knowing our potential in any given situation, not trying to take on more than we are able. A lifetime of pratice for me right there.
Something else from her talk that stuck with me which I think relates is that whenever we make a decision or contemplate an action we should always base it on the 4 Noble Truths
. So it doesn't mean we don't act, or try to change a situation, but we do that form a place of awareness, patience and compassion.