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First-Timer Needs Calming, please...  

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 
So, for the past few weeks I've been saying I'm due "in about 6 weeks." For those of you who can count, you realize that it would be impossible for me to stay 6 weeks away form my due date for more than about a week. I think "about 6 weeks" felt pretty safe to me. Well, lo and behold, when I looked at the calendar this past weekend, I discovered I was only 4 weeks away from my due date!

And I'm starting to...not quite panic...but getting anxious. I feel unprepared. I know that that's a typical first-timer thing...no one can ever really feel truly prepared. For me, a big part of my feeling unprepared is that we're still without certain material items that seem kinda important. We've run into some bad luck with things we've ordered:

We ordered a new bed for us and a crib for the baby that were supposed to arrive, basically, now. Well, we just found out that they won't ship until 1 week before our due date. We've been sleeping on a mattress on the floor since the end of March. We borrowed a co-sleeper, but what good is a co-sleeper if our mattress is about 3 feet lower??

The Growing Greens diapers we ordered were supposed to be here by now, but the company got their hemp shipment late, so, like the bed and crib, the diapers also aren't due to arrive now until about a week before we're due. I know we can just use "green" disposables if we need to, so that feels less problematic, but it's still contributing to my sense of "we're not ready!!"

I think the baby's room will be fully painted by this Saturday. I've been waiting for the room to be painted and furniture placed (none of which is "nursery furniture", by the way...just what was in the room already...a big desk that we'll use as a changing table and a tall IKEA dresser that we'll use till we find a more suitable, kid-friendly one) so I can wash and put away baby clothes and put away/organize all the gifts that we've been getting.

I want to stay relaxed because I don't want stress to impede going into labor or anything...advice??
post #2 of 10
Don't worry. Baby won't care about the room or the bed. It will be perfectly happy to sleep with you wherever you are, wearing whatever you have available.
post #3 of 10
I had very similar feelings just before my first was due. And funnily enough, although I insisted on setting up the crib/nursery...he never once used it. Not once. I had no idea how badly I would need to have him *right* next to me. Also with the cloth diapers...my ds was skinny and the newborn cloths didn't fit right after birth anyway. So disposables it was...at least for the very beginning! Try to relax, mama...it's just stuff! Your baby will be perfectly happy without it.
post #4 of 10
4 weeks is actually plenty of time to get done what you need--at least what you have listed. There IS a chance the babe won't come until you feel settled enough to let him. This is what happened to me with my first. Do what you can so that you feel ready enough and anything not done can happen later. No worries.
post #5 of 10
I'm feeling the same way (and if it makes you feel any better, there are a lot more big things on my to do list than you mentioned here). But I'm telling myself--look, they raise babies in abject poverty in 3rd world countries, and even without the benefit of good nutrition and protection from the elements (which my baby will have), most of them seem to survive. Baby's vision isn't even all that good to begin with--she won't notice that the whole house is a big giant mess, or that I haven't made her pretty sheets yet and that she may have to sleep on ratty (but clean) hand-me-downs for awhile. We're doing construction/repair on some parts of the house, and if it's not done when she gets here, my plan is to keep several selected areas basically clean and safe (kitchen, at least one bedroom, living room, and hopefully 1 bathroom, outdoors), and stick to those areas with baby while DH and others finish up the repairs. It'll be fine. Not ideal, but fine. We have our diapers on order, too--but I'm just assuming that even the smallest ones might not fit at first, and buying a pack of NB sposies to carry us through. Even if you have to use disposables for a couple weeks, no big deal. I want everything to be perfect, I do, but we can't control everything, just our reactions to it.
post #6 of 10
I find that I went from telling everyone "about four weeks" to "any day between now and Na's birthday!". And all this in just a weeks time.

I figure to just try and take it easy and breathe deeply! Seems to help me a bit when I realize time is upon me.
post #7 of 10
We had a co-sleeper when my son was born. He ended up in bed with us anyway, and then when he got mobile we stuck our mattress back on the floor anyway, so he wouldn't fall out.

I get stressed about not having things ready, too. I have to remind myself that as long as I still have a birth canal and breasts, I can have the baby Everything else is just a bonus.
post #8 of 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by veganf View Post
Don't worry. Baby won't care about the room or the bed. It will be perfectly happy to sleep with you wherever you are, wearing whatever you have available.
Hugs mama, I know that "I'm not ready!" feeling. I held it back as long as I could, but the anxiety still got me.

Baby will be happy wherever you sleep, there isn't much gear you can't live without! Diapers, boob, and a safe warm place to sleep, maybe a car seat if you're not HBing. Everything will be fine - you are doing great.

love,
Xen
post #9 of 10
I wouldn't worry. Baby doesn't need a cosleeper from he onset. If you are anything like me s/he will be in your arms all night.

And often cloth diapers, unless you get specific newborn size, don't fit at the very beginning anyway.

It will all be okay...oooooooommmmmmmmmm [breath deep] ooooooooommmmmmmmmm
post #10 of 10
I panicked too and am still super nervous about the birth...whether or not I'll be strong enough....but the material things, honestly...I was in the same boat as you.

Just last weekend DH finally finished painting the room...we got all of the stuff we have for her in there and still I don't feel prepared. I still feel like I'm not ready for any of this.

I don't think you can ever feel ready and even when everything is in place...I promise...you won't feel much better....the nerves are just the nerves...

All we can do is realize that our babe's need very little...and everything they need we can give them fairly easy. Get some 7th Gen. disposable's in newborn size just to get you by until the cloth ones arrive. I'm not going to cloth diaper until a couple weeks in...just because I want some time to figure out her correct size, what type are going to work best for her...how many I'll need etc. She has a crib and a cradle...but there's no way she's going anywhere but right next to me for some time.

You will be okay momma. The baby just needs you...and maybe a blanket. :-) Hang in there.
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