pacifiers

[Rose-Roget]

I have one of those kids who has really strong sucking needs. At 3, I was able to wean him down to using his pacifier only when sleeping, but I haven't pushed beyond that because he just doesn't seem ready (he's 3-3/4). So... (and I'm afraid I know the answer to this) while I understand that every teacher may have personal biases or opinions - do you think using a pacifier during nap time is going to be a no-no when he starts M in the fall? I know I need to ask her, but I don't want to face that judgment yet, if there would likely be some.

[Koloe]

Is your child going to be napping at school? If not - it's a non-issue.

[Rose-Roget]

Oh, yeah, sorry - they do have a nap time in the afternoon. I kind of think I could just tell him that it's a school rule...but that doesn't really seem fair to him. I understand developing independence, but if it's something that helps him relax to clear his body and mind, I don't really mind it. Maybe in a class with older kids, he'll make a decision that he doesn't want/need it, anyway - that would be great! I just didn't know if Montessori philosophy had a say about this.

[nkm1968]

There are at least a couple of kiddoes in DD2's "All Day Community" who have pacifiers at nap time, I don't think it is a big deal at all. We also have kids who are still nursing at age 3, and it's never been an issue. But then again, the moms don't come to school to nurse them! I think our school is pretty crunchy though, with most if not all of the "All Day Community" families being very AP. Probably if there WAS a working mama who came to school to nurse a 3 year old, nobody would care, at least as far back as I can remember. We "other" parents tend to get more disturbed by super-aggressive kids, or kids who try to get our kids to whine and beg for ultra violent video games.

[BCFD]

It may just depend on the teacher. I have always been a tad annoyed (although I probably shouldn't be) when my 3.5 year old DD's Montessori teacher acts shocked that my 2.5 year old isn't completely using the potty 100% or at least almost there. However, it did push me to start focusing on potty learning with her and she is now about 80% using the toilet, 20% accidents. This is the same age I started with my 3.5 year old and my 2.5 year old is starting at the school in August, so it really was time to begin.

But anyway, I would send your DS to school with the paci and see what happens. Maybe when the other kids don't have one he will be ok with giving it up. Ask the teacher how she/he feels about it and then go from there.

My oldest 2 kids loved their Nuk. When the oldest was about 1y9m I started only giving it to her in the car, nap time, and bed time. Then I gradually took it away at nap time. Then a month later I took it away from her in the car. And finally at about 2y1m she no longer had it in bed with her. I took it away from her sister at the same time and she was 12 months. I thought it wouldn't be fair to take it away from one, but not the other and there would be too much temptation there.

I also said, "Sorry baby. We don't have a Nuk anymore at naptime. But here's your lovey." So, the lovey took the Nuk's place and we only had 1 or 2 days of her asking for her Nuk. I would just repeat, "No more Nuk. Here's lovey." At my school, they are fine with the children having a special lovey/blanket during naps.