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Are You one of the 89%

post #1 of 156
Thread Starter 
I know I am not, Yes I would like to sleep a little more, but I feel blessed, this is my dream come true. If I did not want the job then I would not have made a dc.

http://www.momlogic.com/2008/07/sahm...iness_poll.php
post #2 of 156
89% feel their kids would be better off if they worked, but only 35% of SAHMs wished their lives were different? That is screwy.
post #3 of 156
Quote:
89% feel their kids would be better off if they worked, but only 35% of SAHMs wished their lives were different? That is screwy
.

Maybe they were thinking "better off" in terms of lifestyle or finances?

All things considered, I don't think my kids would be better off if I were working. I love SAHM and I am happy to do it as long as I have kids in the home. :
post #4 of 156
Now that I get enough alone time, it's not how I'd need to spend 30 free minutes. I spend so much time with the kids, I don't know if I'd give the 30 minutes over to time with them either. Hmmmm. At any rate, I don't feel my kids would be better off if I worked so I'm not in that 89%!
post #5 of 156
The quote I read said their kids would be "happier" if they worked. I wonder how the question was actually phrazed...
post #6 of 156
I think this has a lot to do with attachment parenting. When you are attached and so are your kids then the stuff that really urks other people isn't as bad (as often) to AP's. Does that make any sense...speaking of the article, I'm sleep deprived, lol
post #7 of 156
Interesting article. I definitely don't think my kids would be happier if I worked. My mom would be, though.
post #8 of 156
Not another job I'd rather do. Yes, I'd love a quiet 30 minutes once in a while... who wouldn't? *sigh* This is my dream job, even on the days it's a nightmare.
post #9 of 156
Nooo. My kids have been in full-time daycare before, and they most certainly were NOT better off. They were sick, grouchy, and clingy all the time. Now they are healthy, happy, and independent.
post #10 of 156
I'm very confused about this:

Quote:
Spending time with the kiddos isn't high on the wish list for stay-at-home moms or working moms.
Um....I'm wondering how that question was actually phrased to the moms.

I mean, if someone asked me, "Where would you most like to travel to?" I would be thinking along the lines of an exotic place, and I would probably say Brazil, or India, or even some place fun, like Disneyland. If someone wanted, they could conclude that I hate both my hometown (Phoenix) and my current home (Chicago-area), since I didn't say those.

I'm wondering if the way that the questions were phrased caused the women to think that the answer should be something other than "spend time with my kids", since most moms spend as much time as possible WITH their kids.


And on the sleep thing - I'm ahead of that curve on other women - I am already sleep deprived (fibromyalgia), and I have learned to live with it and like it.
post #11 of 156
I wouldn't put much stock in this article. It reads like a Cosmo poll (ie: do you like bald men, or hairy men? .... or .... which makes you happier: a new Kate Spade purse or a new Gucci wallet?)

They probably caught a lot of SAHMs on their "bad" day (and we all have them) when a tongue-in-cheek comment (like wanting more sleep) is portrayed as something they need more desperately than they do in reality.
post #12 of 156
Quote:
Originally Posted by llamalluv View Post
SNIP
I mean, if someone asked me, "Where would you most like to travel to?" I would be thinking along the lines of an exotic place, and I would probably say Brazil, or India, or even some place fun, like Disneyland. If someone wanted, they could conclude that I hate both my hometown (Phoenix) and my current home (Chicago-area), since I didn't say those.

I'm wondering if the way that the questions were phrased caused the women to think that the answer should be something other than "spend time with my kids", since most moms spend as much time as possible WITH their kids. SNIP
Yeah, exactly. I already spend 24/7 with my kids, and don't actually want to not spend time with them. But good gravy, if I have 30 free minutes to do anything I want, why would I read Froggy Bakes a Cake again? I already read it fourteen times today. Got my fill of Froggy. What I didn't get was a shower. Or aerobic exercise. Unless ring-around-the-rosie counts? Does the fact that I'd really REALLY like a shower by myself, or a nap, mean that I don't adore spending time with my kids? Obviously, *given a choice* I already chose. I picked reading Froggy Bakes a Cake over doing anything alone.

Saying I'd spend my 30 minutes ... oh, I don't know, taking a nap because of the nighttime parenting was a bit more intensive last night... instead of playing with my kids, which I've already done most of the day, is very very different than saying "being alone is best!" Honestly. What a dumb conclusion.

One thing this survey tells ME is that WAHMs and SAHMs both put other people's needs ahead of their own, and if they had half an hour, they'd maybe want to do something that takes care of their needs.
post #13 of 156
Quote:
Originally Posted by Collinsky View Post
Yeah, exactly. I already spend 24/7 with my kids, and don't actually want to not spend time with them. But good gravy, if I have 30 free minutes to do anything I want, why would I read Froggy Bakes a Cake again? I already read it fourteen times today. Got my fill of Froggy. What I didn't get was a shower. Or aerobic exercise. Unless ring-around-the-rosie counts? Does the fact that I'd really REALLY like a shower by myself, or a nap, mean that I don't adore spending time with my kids? Obviously, *given a choice* I already chose. I picked reading Froggy Bakes a Cake over doing anything alone.

Saying I'd spend my 30 minutes ... oh, I don't know, taking a nap because of the nighttime parenting was a bit more intensive last night... instead of playing with my kids, which I've already done most of the day, is very very different than saying "being alone is best!" Honestly. What a dumb conclusion.

One thing this survey tells ME is that WAHMs and SAHMs both put other people's needs ahead of their own, and if they had half an hour, they'd maybe want to do something that takes care of their needs.
I couldn't have said it better. The reason we need a half hour to ourselves is because we ARE ALWAYS WITH THE KIDS. The way they interpreted this in their "study" is ridiculous.
post #14 of 156
The way it was worded could go so many ways. I know my kids are happy where they are and so am I.
post #15 of 156
what a misleading, ridiculous article. I hate this sort of thing... 'studies show'... but a rare reader looks more closely at the details and analyses them (or has the tools to analyse them). It's a shame working moms and SAHM's are pitted against each other so often in the media. My impression in reality is that there is a huge continuum of working vs 'not working', and moms have more in common than the differences they might have.

as for sleep...how exactly would u feel more well rested if you worked outside the home as well? i think i'd be even more exhausted cos i'd never be able to take a nap with DS.
post #16 of 156
That's crazy, and I think that "study" is bogus. If I (or anyone) thought my kids would be happier w/ me working, why wouldn't I go back to work? I have my good and bad days like anyone else, but I don;t think my kids (or I) would be happier if I were to WOHM. But hell yeah I'd like a LOT more sleep! I read a study (that I do believe) that said that motherhood--Wor SAHM--led to sleep deprivation the majority of the time because of the constant responsibilities, moms were unable to turn it off at night.

But yeah, we're (my fam) all v happy I'm able to stay at home w/ our children.
post #17 of 156
My kids wouldn't be happier if I worked. I haven't worked at all in 7 months (and was very part-time prior to staying home) and my dd still gets nervous that I am going to go to work. And she was only left with dh. Its not like she was with a stranger. She says every time it gets dark "Mommy, don't go work. Stay home!" I was a night shifter. I know the baby doesn't want me to work. He doesn't want anyone but me to hold him. I am unsure how I would be happier. I like working. But then I feel guilty since it isn't 100% necessary financially that I work. Sans guilt, *I* am best off as a part-time worker so I get a break from the kids, and I enjoy working, but personally wouldn't want to be away from the kids on a full-time basis. The guilt of being away would kill me. So right now it is not worth it to me. I don't think either kid would be better off with a sitter/daycare. I asked dd if she wants to go to pre-school this year, and she said yes, if I can go with her. I said I couldn't go with her, so she chose to stay home with me.

And yes, if I had 30 minutes to do whatever I wanted in a day, I would have it kid free. I have the rest of the day/night with kids. No, I do not feel guilty for wishing for 30 minutes of alone time a day. Who DOESN'T want a shower or phone call or reading time without crying, fighting, whining, etc? Is that some kind of trick question or something? Maybe I wouldn't want that time alone if my kids were guaranteed to not whine, cry, cling, etc for a 30 minute period each day, but quietly sit by my side.
post #18 of 156
I love having 30 minutes alone time and I also love 30 minutes of couple time. An exotic family vacation- bring it on! Sleep, I get plenty of it, I wear the kids out all day so they also get plenty of it or maybe its the other way around!

The reality= we will not be taking any exotic vacations nor family ones for a while. When the girls are older and can appreciate them, we will do it then.

So until then, I will enjoy my 30 minutes of alone time I have enjoyed my entire life even before I became a parent. Even my kids enjoy alone time with themselves so I dont get how that is so earth shattering.

As far as sleep, I wish Maggie would get up later in the morning but she goes down pretty quick at night so cant have everything!

Better off working or in daycare- in this family no. Thus the reason I stay home, a choice made before I entered this marriage. OTH, I know several mothers at mdc and IRL who are better off working either a few hours a week or FT. Nothing wrong with that.
post #19 of 156
I really don't get why DD would be happier if I worked. I know she's very, very young (15 weeks), but surely the poll included some women with babies?

And I love me my alone/couple time--DH and I were ecstatic a few days ago when DD (amazingly) went to sleep during our dinner-preparation time, and we could cook the meal together. But that doesn't mean I don't love spending time just staring at her or hanging out with her! I mean, no matter how much you love something intense, you need a break from it. If career people had to spend 23.5 hours a day at their job, you bet they'd be welcoming that half-hour off.
post #20 of 156
Quote:
Originally Posted by Smokering View Post
I mean, no matter how much you love something intense, you need a break from it. If career people had to spend 23.5 hours a day at their job, you bet they'd be welcoming that half-hour off.
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