Total gd failure

[Think of Winter]

While we were walking back to the car from the beach today, ds said something poked his foot, and he pulled out a thorn. I was juggling 2 bags, my 2 yr dd, and ds wouldn't let me look at it anyway. But he's been complaining since then (2 1/2 hrs ago) that it was hurting. I finally got him to let me see it. There is still a piece sticking straight out of the ball of his foot. His blood sugar was low, so I thought I could sneak in while he was eating a lolly and quickly yank it out. That turned into him writhing and screaming, and me holding him down, trying to get the tweezers near his foot, and screaming "stop it, just stop it!" at him. It's still there in his foot, hurting, and he got to have his lunatic mother scream at him and attack him when his blood sugar was 42.

I try to hard to be gentle, but sometimes I think I just can't do it. I'll be going along pretty well, and crazy me will take over.

I still don't know how to get it out. Once it gets pushed in all the way, it's going to be much worse, or I'd just wait until he's asleep tonight.

ETA: Well, I just went back into the family room and ds was sound asleep, so I just took it out in about 2 seconds. I forgot that he was up at about 3:00 today, for the day. So he was exhausted, too. Sigh.

[harrietsmama]

We're human, we all do stuff we wish we could have a do over for.

[Magella]

If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the falling down but the staying down. -Mary Pickford

No one can be zen mama all the time.

[Bellejar]

Not a failure a "growth experience" - its all in the spin

[Limabean1975]

You will all be okay.
My inner Devil Mama came out today too, growling like a creature of hell with fierce eyes "BITING ME IS NOT AN OPTION" (I mean really, does that even make sense?), with far far far less provocation than you had.

eta: Quote:
If you have made mistakes, even serious ones, there is always another chance for you. What we call failure is not the falling down but the staying down. -Mary Pickford
Love this! Thanks, sledg!

[kindacrunchy]

For me, I know what to do and I try to do it, but it is the tone of my voice. For instance, my 2 yo grabs something from 5 yo, as I am trying to tell 2 yo no grabbing, ask for a turn, please give it back, my 5 yo is on his way to handle things his way by pushing or hitting or yelling or grabbing back, so I try to work with 5 yo, but my tone is getting louder and frustrated and there is crying by 2 yo and 5 yo is yelling and I get louder and more frustrated because I'm trying to do the right thing but it isn't working and nobody is givng me the chance to do my job because it seems to be taking to long and it ends up with an angry voice mostly toward my 5 yo because he knows how to handle things with his friends but always bullies his brother, etc. etc.

[Limabean1975]

Oh yes kindacrunchy, I'm right there with you in those moments of "speaking" gd but sounding otherwise (see "BITING ME IS NOT AN OPTION" for example)

[kindacrunchy]

I think it happens more often than not these days. I also take things personally. If somebody (my 5 yo) gives me attitude, I give it back. And I'm supposed to be the adult here

[elizawill]

aww mama, we have all been GD failures. that's why we come here, yk? - to get support and learn. if it makes you feel any better i could list my "rap sheet" of GD offenses for you - lol. for example, on several occassions i've screamed at my kids "DON'T SPEAK TO ME THAT WAY!!" i mean, what the heck!!!??? like that approach is going to make any sense that i'm screaming like a mad woman at them about the tone they just used with me. ugh. forgive yourself and try to learn from it.

[Think of Winter]

Thank you guys so much. Your support really helped me. Sometimes I feel like I am a big phony for talking the talk, and not walking the walk. I do feel like I know what is best in most cases, but it is so hard to do that thing. I am very far from being the mama I want to be. Thank you again.