When to start?

[AaronsMommy]

Please forgive me if this seems like a stupid question, but at what age is it appropriate to implement GD? My ds is 1yr, walking and just starting to get into things that require me to say "no" and take some kind of action to maintain his safety (like constantly turning up the hot water dial in the tub.) Is he too young for any kind of discipline?

[alegna]

Discipline is teaching. So in that way it begins at birth.

At a year, I would not expect anything except physical boundaries to keep a child safe. Redirect, remove, replace etc.

-Angela

[kungfu_barbi]

Originally Posted by AaronsMommy

Is he too young for any kind of discipline?

what exactly do you mean by discipline?

i'm asking because i have known too many people who think discipline means punishment... so they think they need to be slapping a baby's hand, etc...

i like that the pp said that discipline means teaching...

another thought is to minimize the use of the word NO at this age. use the word STOP when you want your child to stop something. otherwise, use positive commands - like 'be gentle' with a pet, 'use 2 hands' when drinking out of a cup, 'stay by me' instead of don't run away, 'just look' instead of don't touch...

peace

[kiwiva]

I agree with the pps. I don't use any punishment with my 21 mo old. Generally whatever she is doing isn't a "punishable offense" in my book. It is her experimenting with her surroundings. Our current issue is standing on high chairs in the kitchen. I could punish her in some way but it would be totally useless. I remind her to sit and if she doesn't comply, move her off the chair; I also keep the chairs away from the counter as much as possible. This way, I instruct her in what she should be doing and implement what I see as a natural consequence to standing on the chair. Eventually it will sink in that when you don't sit, you get off the chair.

As for the water spout, do they have anything that makes it impossible for the kids to move it, like for doorknobs? Really all you can do is to remind her not to touch, stop the touching and redirect. With something like that maybe a word like "danger" will help, eventually he will understand. Also, make sure that your water heater is set below 120 degrees. I am pretty sure that is the temp to be below. Scalding is a big problem for babies.

I also minimize "no." At that age and for a while (I don't know how long a while as I'm not there yet) it is really much more helpful to tell the child what to do, because they really may not know. I reserve "No" for the important stuff so it doesn't lose its meaning. People say "no" constantly to little kids and I am sure they tune it out when it is so overused. When I say it, it does get her attention.

At that age, we used "Not for babies" then redirected. Once redirection stopped working we gave direction, e.g. for standing on the couch, we say "sit on your bottom, please."

So, if by discipline you mean punishment, time out or whatever, I think 1 yr is too young. Just keep babyproofing and be consistent with the things you can't babyproof (like parking lots, e.g.) because even once they do learn they are not supposed to do something (run in the road, e.g.) that doesn't mean they will be able to control their impulses whether or not you are punishing.

[ChetMC]

We have done pretty much the same things. I don't generally say "no." Even now that our girls are older I try not to use "no." There is usually something more productive to say... like stating the do instead of the don't. For example, "chairs are for sitting," instead of, "no standing on chairs."

I also think it's confusing for kids when parents and caregivers say "no" to so many things. They use "no" for situations that are truly urgent and dangerous, and then they use the same word for stuff that's just annoying... then they wonder why their kids don't listen to "no." It's like the boy who cried wolf. I try to save "no" only for the most extreme situations, so it still carries some weight.

[AaronsMommy]

Thanks so much for your responses everyone I definitely agree that discipline is teaching and not punishment, so we are all on the same page. I am actually a SpEd Teacher (in my former non-SAHM life) and specialized in behavior, but I that was with older school-age children and those with severe behavioral disorders (like ED and ODD) and I think that experience makes it even more difficult for me to know how to deal with simple things with my young son. I really like your advice about minimizing "no" because I DO NOT want to be one of those Mom's who says it constantly, but I find myself doing it automatically and am sure what else to do or what to guide my dh to do.

Thanks again for all your advice, keep it coming