Throwing Food on the Floor & Dumping Out Drinks

[J2]

My BIGGEST pet peeve is my DS purposefully throwing or dumping food on the floor or dumping drinks out on the floor. We tell him he that we don't throw food on the floor. He knows he isn't supposed to. We then have him help clean it up, however often times now he refuses to help.

I'm not sure what to do to get this unwanted behavior to stop. And I don't know what is a related, natural consequence for throwing food on the floor. Obviously, cleaning up is a related consequence but he either refuses to help for a while or even when he does help it isn't that big of a deal to him. So he isn't affected by it. And of course we could not give the food back to him, but often times he is done anyway so he doesn't necessarily want it back.

Please, any suggestions? It is the one thing that pushes my buttons the most. He has gone in and out of the food throwing stage. This is the 3rd food throwing stage he has had now. And I'm sure when our baby is due in Sept it will definitely continue to be a sore spot for me and quite possibly the thing he continues to do because it is my sore spot.

[traceface]

The only thing I can think of is to give him a cup with one inch of liquid in it, and like 3 bites at a time. That way, there's not much to throw down. Also, you'll have more of a clue as to when he actually gets full/hydrated and so the meal or snack can just be immediately over.

When he dumps stuff on the floor it must mean he's lost interest by that point in the food as something to eat -- he's exploring other things about it, or just seeing how you react

[J2]

My son is 2 and he definitely knows better. And he will even take a bag of something that is nearby that others are eating and throw it. So it isn't even always his food.

And sometiems he'll dump his drink when we take the lid off to go get more water. He wants to help get the water so I give him the cup, he takes a sip before getting more water, but then dumps the rest of the water on the floor, even if there isn't much left. I'm just at a loss at what to do. He knwos what he is doing as sometimes you can even see him think about it ahead of time (which is when I obviously try to stop him from doing it).

I do think he is seeing how we will react...so now I am not sure how to react. Just ignore it and hope it goes away and then therefore clean it up myself?

[BellinghamCrunchie]

Well, my reply may be unpopular, but... do nothing. Except give things in small amounts which aren't hard to clean up.

Seems like every child goes through this. Don't know why. They just do.
DD sure did. The nature of the toddler is chaos.

Now she's 3.5 and says "uh oh" when things accidently spill, and wants to wipe them up right away. Doesn't like messy anymore.

Seems like there's the chaos stage, then there's the perfectionist stage.

It really will pass, and probably about the time it starts to stick that you don't want him to do this and you've been teaching not to do it for several months, he doesn't want to do it anymore, anyway, and it stops.

[Mom2Boy&Girl]

I really think this is one of things with kids that if you wait it out, they'll eventually stop. Both my kids went through this phase, and they're both out of it now. When they were going through it, I just limited what I put on their plate, got really good about anticipating their 'throw-downs' and had them help clean it up when I was too late.

It'll stop eventually. I swear.

[Satori]

I don't have any advice, my 2 yr old does the same thing plus she thinks its funny as heck to spit her food all over the place. Doesn't matter if its her favorite food or how hungry or not she is, she just likes blowing raspberries with her food. I'm sick of the terrible two's and were just getting started Today has been a REALLY BAD day for us, both kids are being monsters and woke up on the wrong side of the bed and I'm ready to blow my top:

[J2]

I do know it will eventually stop. Its just this is the THIRD time he has been in this food throwing phase. So its kind of irritating. And it feels like this time it is lasting a long time. I hope it ends soon and never returns!

[OGirlieMama]

I'm right there with you Laura, only I have two 2-year-olds, so twice the amount of junk on my floor! Though I am not pregnant, so it's easier for me to bend down and clean it up.

I've tried the "this makes mommy sad" approach, I've tried asking them to clean it up (same thing - refusal or they enjoy it), I've tried ignoring it. Now I'm just trying to give smaller portions, not leave them alone while they eat (if I go to the kitchen to grab something, I notice they throw more), and hope it goes away.

[Ruthla]

Originally Posted by laurabelle1317

My son is 2 and he definitely knows better. And he will even take a bag of something that is nearby that others are eating and throw it. So it isn't even always his food.

And sometiems he'll dump his drink when we take the lid off to go get more water. He wants to help get the water so I give him the cup, he takes a sip before getting more water, but then dumps the rest of the water on the floor, even if there isn't much left. I'm just at a loss at what to do. He knwos what he is doing as sometimes you can even see him think about it ahead of time (which is when I obviously try to stop him from doing it).

I do think he is seeing how we will react...so now I am not sure how to react. Just ignore it and hope it goes away and then therefore clean it up myself?

Well, with the cup thing, I think I'd refuse to get him his refill if he dumps it on the floor.

I'd also try to redirect his interest in dumping out water. Could you teach him to pull up a stepstool or chair by the kitchen sink and dump out his cup into the sink? Be sure to give him lots of water play in the bathtub or outside, separate from drinking water.

[auntiehallie]

i agree that all kids do this *and* that it will end. and the time it takes to end is directly proportional to my interest in their wack behavior. to say it another way, the more interested i am in the behavior i don't like, the longer it draws out. which means i have to get really, really good at keeping a lid on it.

with that said, each kid has his/her own temperament and some require more supervision than others. but i do always sit down with them to eat, to be social. and being Right There probably helps. when he does get bored (and it's all boys i've dealt with, so no idea if girls are different), i'm right on top of it. the first sign that anything is going down, i quickly - but very calmly, and very quietly - take it away. basically, i don't give him a chance. and i'm quiet, respectful, and watchful. leaving a kid alone at a table with food for art supplies is asking for trouble, really. table manners aren't a natural development. the only natural consequence for being a rude dude in a dining situation is disapproval. so you have to be there to provide it, is my feeling.

when i'm up and down getting things for two of them and one is in the throwing stage, i quietly give the, "why would you do such a thing?" look and take the plate away. i don't get much of an argument then, because i've already laid down my expectations very clearly in our many moments together at the table before then.

it does take a lot of effort in the beginning, much more than (sometimes) seems worth it. but honestly, once they've got the hang of how they're expected to behave at table, they're plugged in and you don't get much nonsense. not 'til they start eating with their little age-mates at birthday parties, anyway. then all bets are off!

[J2]

Originally Posted by auntiehallie

i agree that all kids do this *and* that it will end. and the time it takes to end is directly proportional to my interest in their wack behavior.

That's the thing...he has been through this stage 2 other times before. This is the 3rd time he is in the food throwing stage! Ug!

[GradysMom]

I like the small servings idea,

Maybe this is the third time because it is a specific stress response for him. Is there anything else that could be causing or paralleling the behavior?

hows the potty training, has your tummy suddenly showed up and sorta taken over you know, Mommy can't do x y z kinda thing?


Just throwing out a train of thought.

[Think of Winter]

This is totally a developmental stage. We aim for an Unconditional Parenting approach, so if dc do not obey, we try to either compromise or live with it. My dc are 4 1/2 and 2 now, and it's much less of an issue. So many of these pita behaviors really are age-appropriate. I kept a broom by the table and swept after every single meal.