I've got the Blues

[mandalin24kd]

We're having some major latch issues and haven't been able to get through a feeding properly since yesterday. I'm really moody and sad on top of it, and at this point I don't even want to look at her. I feel like leaving dh here with the kids and leaving for the day.

I feel like shit........

[BirthFree]

Awwwww!!! Oh mama, I had a very similar situation with my youngest son... to the point of not wanting to look at him or hold him or deal with him b/c of the ABSOLUTELY frustrating latch issues!! It can be so infuriating when nursing is such a huge part of this stage b/c you have to attempt it again and again and go through the frustration on both of your ends each time... oy, I soooooo remember those feelings! I had to promise him each night I'd nurse him the next day and take it day by day b/c it was so hard.

I'm so sorry Mama. Can you get a nap in, or a few hours out for a decaf coffee or walk or to sit at the park for a bit to clear your mind, your arms and your heart? I'm really sorry you're going through this...

We just went to a lactation consult apt. this week ourselves - is there a way you can call today or tomorrow to get an asap apt. for Monday?

Again, more s, I wish I could help more!

For what it's worth, I've been living by the "it gets better at 3w, better still at 6w, even better at 3m and by 6m it'll be a breeze". I've said it to other people in the past and have walked through that advice myself before so I'm reminding myself now when it feels like a week is forever.

You can do this...

[mandalin24kd]

I'm going to try the WIC lactation consultant on monday. I talked to my midwife today and she thinks it's sounds like she's thrusting. We talked about a couple things to try. And I asks her if it would be ok to give her some pumped milk to give my nipples and ME a break, and she said it would be ok.
She also wanted me to try so mothers wort to help my mood. So I'm going to try that.
I laid with the baby for a bit, and I don't feel like I hate her at the moment. Isn't that horrible to say?
It'll pass, I know.

[BirthFree]

toh
It's not horrible, it's honest... that's most important!!
Let us know how it's going ok??

[*Karen*]

s mama
DD has thrush STILL and my nipples are bright red and hurt. I totally understand nursing issues. I hope the LC helps you. They helped me a lot with DS.

Totally not trying to steal your thread, but I think I am totally there too. But I think for me, the blues just means I am extra extra irritable. I don't really get sad, as much as mad at everything. Mad at everything except DD though which is weird. But I TOTALLY can't deal with DS, DH or my dogs. At all. I think I have no choice but to wean DS because every time he nurses it makes me want to throw him across the room. I don't know why I feel that way, but it is really bad for our relationship. DH is trying really hard to be helpful, and has tons of patience with DS, but NONE with DD. Who is THREE WEEKS OLD. GEEZ. He always tells her that she is fine and to stop crying. Then he tells me that she is just going to have to cry. COME ON. She just likes to be held. Always. This makes car trips a living hell, and trying to cook near impossible. So he gets angry that we can't go places and that I don't make dinner. But whatever, I am just trying to survive.

As I type all this I am drinking a beer. Yep, DD is asleep so I'm drinking a freaking beer. My head is pounding from being so freaking mad at DH and then at DS. For such stupid things that I deal with all the time, but honestly right now I really can't deal with life in general. Much less with two babies.

Oh, and I HATE fireworks. They make my dogs freak the f^#$ out and claw all over me.

[ladyelms]

I've got them too...

(I friggen hate fireworks too. I'm reading away here listening to Dead Can Dance while trying to help babe fall asleep for the umpteenth time today as dh and family are out lighting them off... gonna go get that glass of wine I've been looking forward to...)

[BirthFree]

Honestly, if I didn't have my placenta to take I think I'd be in some serious trouble. There has not been one day that I have been able to get through without taking any. I've taken 2 capsules just about every day... today I was crying b/c we had been discussing my DH getting a vasectomy and I was wanting to ask all the "what if" questions so we make a good/complete choice - one of the questions was what if we lost one of our kids at some point... would we want to have another (and if DH gets a vasectomy, what would that be).

Needless to say I think talking about that (my biggest fear in life along with loosing my other family) really upset me and I couldn't keep from crying about nothing, the rest of the evening until I took the capsules.

Anyways... I really empathize mamas...

[skg_7]

Mandalin24kd (and everyone else here) -- how are you today?

I could have written your post, as well. Daniel is 4 weeks old and we've run into some really hard issues (starting at 3 weeks) with MAJOR gas and fussiness, plus (according to the lactation consultant) latch issues. My nipples are hurting, I think we may have thrush but I don't know, and the baby is miserable.

The hardest part is that I *already* had the blues. Only I gues at this point it's not really correct to call them the baby blues. But let's just say I was already feeling a lot of sadness, some depression, and discouragement.

Today is better, but I do find mornings easier than afternoons and evenings.

Maybe we can all keep in touch here and lend each other moral support.

[mandalin24kd]

I'm feeling ok today. Dh is working, and even though that means I have to take care of everyone be myself, it's much less stressful not having him here. Don't get me wrong, he's been a huge help the passed few weeks! More helpful than he's ever been. But he has no patiences for anything. It's really stressful being around such a negative person. Anyways, so not having him here makes it a bit easier to tolerate the things that are stressing me out.

I'm still working on her latch, but I really don't think she's thrusting. I'm working as if she is, because that what my midwife said to do, but she seems to be sucking with the front of her mouth instead of drawing with the back. I really think that's where the issue is and why she keeps losing her latch and sucking in air, etc. I just don't know how to correct it.

Hey, I've had my placenta in the freezer since she was born. Do you think it would be ok to defrost and encapsulate?

[mandalin24kd]

Oh, and I think your right about lending eachother support. When I try to talk to some of my real life friends and tell them I feel like smacking the baby or locking dd in the closet, they look horrified. At least we all know what we're saying!!! And that it's just a feeling. It's hard when the support around you doesn't understand and can't empathize!

[mandalin24kd]

AHHHH!

I thought I was doing okl, but i'm on total melt down! I wrapped the baby up and stuck a paci in her mouth and left her on the bed. I can't deal with it. I know she's hungry, but what the fuck am I supposed to do about it if she won't eat? And the other ones........... They know I'm tired and they know I'm cranky but the little f-ing brats keep digging their little claws into my buttons and I want to kick them all of out the house. Actually , no, I want to take a xanax and fall asleep in the tub.

I should be able to handle this. I've had to handle worse! What the fuck!

I just want this damned day to end already!!!!!

And I have a headache and a stomach ache. My clothes feel heavy. The the f is that about.

I'm going crazy!

[skg_7]

I'm sorry I didn't see this last post of yours sooner. I have such a hard time getting online. Daniel is *so* colicky. In fact I need to go now and nurse him AGAIN or give him my finger or something.

I hope today is a better day.

[JustVanessa]

You need some help honey....is there anyone who can take the big kids for a while?

[mandalin24kd]

I posted in post partum depression about this too. Yesterday was better. I'm calling my doc today about meds. I had ppd with Xaeli too. We're dealing. I have my friends daughter at the moment and have since yeaterday. Sh'es been in labor at home for 36 hours. So, having another one here is actually a bit distracting and the baby and I are "getting along" a little better.
Thanks guys!

[BirthFree]

My kids are acting the same way if it's any consolation.

Sending a prayer your way...