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What do you do..  

post #1 of 11
7/4/08 at 9:49pm
Thread Starter 
When your partners idea of spending time with the kids is LOOKING at them for a couple minutes a day. Whenever I try to encourage him to spend time with them.. They get handed right back within the first minute . I have zero help taking care of the boys.. which would be fine if I at least had help getting food or cleaning up.
post #2 of 11
7/4/08 at 9:54pm
Tell him exactly that!!

I'm sorry it's so hard! I can't even imagine having two of them right now!!!
post #3 of 11
7/4/08 at 9:59pm
You know, after watching my dh be "gun shy" with our new baby after having 5 kids, I think babies can be very intimidating. So, I've been super nice about it, making sure that he knows I have no problem caring for the baby 24/7. What I appreciate is him making sure the other kids are cared for, that the house is clean and that there's food on the table.

Maybe if you "let him off the hook" as far as baby care goes and ask him to provide in other ways, he'll feel more useful? My dh has a lot of experience with babies, yet he cannot be with Junie for more than a few minutes before she's screaming her head off - she is a mama's girl.

Think he'll go for it?
post #4 of 11
7/4/08 at 10:19pm
toh
Mmmmmm, took my DH a long time to move past that stage - it just took time here...
post #5 of 11
7/4/08 at 11:14pm
Thread Starter 
I have pretty much let the baby stuff go in the past two weeks.. We have been fighting constantly about the same stuff.. He doesn't feel loved or wanted because he expects me to.. take care of both of the babies 24/7(which i love to do), do all of the laundry myself, clean up everything including his dirty underwear in the middle of the floor, all of the shopping alone with two babies, cook all of the food, find time to eat, shower, go to the bathroom at least twice a day... preferably not while holding a baby, find places that are hiring because he lost his job(AGAIN) and remind him 5 million times to apply, get over the fact i haven't heard from him since 2 pm because he was hanging out and drinking with his friends until 5 am but at least he's home so everything is just all fine and dandy, Snuggle with him and let him grope me in all the the free time that i do not have, And finally get some amount of sleep. He had the nerve to tell me that it's not that hard and I just need to learn how to manage my time better..What time?? Oh and my favorite comment that he took back after a couple of hours of silence and dirty looks.. "you fail as a mom". wooo.. we have issues. K end rant..
I forgot what i was even talking about.
post #6 of 11
7/5/08 at 12:50am
I'm sorry mama. ((Kendra))
post #7 of 11
7/5/08 at 6:38am
hugs to you, K

I have no advice about DP ... since I'd like to smack him. We've all given him down the road here before, and I'm surprised he's still there. (I'm sorry .... I sound like a pill .... but you have 2 babies, plus a grown man acting like a baby to take care of)


Is your mom/grandma able to help?? I agree with some of the other posts ..... you can tell him that he can be responsible for things other than the babies.

Unfortunately, you can't make someone grow up.
post #8 of 11
7/5/08 at 12:28pm
If I were you, I would care for the babies, feed myself and let everything else go to shit. He can do his own laundry and take care of himself. As for groping you, tell him its a real turn on when men act like men, not overgrown children.
post #9 of 11
7/5/08 at 3:58pm
Some guys just don't "get" babies. I agree- give him other useful things to do. And if he doesn't do them, just worry about yourself and your own stuff. For example, maybe you do a load of laundry (because you/babies need clothes) but if none of his things are in the basket, they don't get washed. Same with folding/putting away - if his stuff gets washed, leave it in a basket for him to deal with - not your problem. (But give him the option of helping for REAL - and a few days to do so - before you really put your foot down about this since it's sure to piss him off) I'm so sorry you're still stuck with this guy. Make sure you take care of YOU.
post #10 of 11
7/5/08 at 4:58pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustVanessa View Post
If I were you, I would care for the babies, feed myself and let everything else go to shit. He can do his own laundry and take care of himself. As for groping you, tell him its a real turn on when men act like men, not overgrown children.
Yup.
post #11 of 11
7/5/08 at 6:07pm
Hunny,....... pump some milk, leave it in some bottles and abandon his ass with the house and the babes for a few hours and see what the deal is then!!!!

God, I'd love to kick his ass!
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