TTC & International Travel for Work?

[JuniperMama]

The great news is that I am working in a job that I love. It is exactly in line with what I got my masters in (organizational development) and is full of challenge and opportunities to grow and learn. Its FT WOH which is new as I haven't been FT WOH since DS was born. But its good overall!

As part of this job, I am managing a high profile employee development program. The program meets 4 times over the course of the year including one international trip. The international trip this year is to Salzburg, Austria - October 4-12ish.

So here's the thing... Our DS turns 4 in like 3 weeks (OMG I can't believe it ). We put off TTC #2 for a long time because I had pretty bad ante-partum and post-partum depression and because I went to grad school when DS was 1-3 and we didn't want to be doing more babies in the midst of grad school, a full time insane job, and raising a wee one.

I'm really beginning to feel like now is the time. I meant to have them closer together but that isn't the way its going to shake out. I think nearly 5 years apart will be fine - many people keep telling me that it worked out well in their families so I'm hoping!

We were thinking of beginning to TTC in August. The thing is, if I get lucky (no pun intended ) and get a BFP quickly, I'll be 1 or 2 months pregnant on this trip. The trip is going to involve a lot of pre-work and then the time there will be jam packed and somewhat stressful. FUN but definitely work and definitely exhausting. (The trip is a huge career move and missing it would not be good at all.)

I wasn't terribly sick with DS. I was bone tired and I had a lot of food aversions but was not ill. I'm not sure what things will be like with #2 since each pregnancy is different.

So here's the big question... Should I go ahead and TTC in August? Should I wait until after this trip in October? Does anyone know if travel and long flights increase the risk of MC? (I'm coming from Seattle so its a long haul!)

In a perfect world, I'd love to be due in Late May/Early June for a number of reasons. That means getting preggo in September, right? I know I can't just dial it up like that (though I WISH I could!!) so I kind of want to get things going next month ...

ACK! I don't know what to do!

Any input would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks.

[MeepyCat]

Travel and long-haul flights do not increase risk of miscarriage, so far as I know, and I ran two conferences overseas while pregnant (including one before I got my BFP, but after I started to feel exhausted and icky).

I would say, go ahead and TTC in August. There are no guarantees that it will all go smoothly, but then, there never are.

[heatherweh]

I'm confused about how you'll balance that kind of work with having a new baby? What is you have a baby who is highly attached and has separation anxiety and can't stay with anyone else? Or would you stop doing a lot of the business trips once you have the LO? Or would you just put baby in someone else's care despite the possible trauma?

Thats the thing about babies and kids: its like a box of chocolates- you never know what you're going to get.

I think your 5 years apart plan seems like a good one for your family. This has worked really well for my cousin who just had her second child now that her DD is in kindergarten.

GL whenever you do decide to try!

[JElaineB]

Originally Posted by heatherweh

I'm confused about how you'll balance that kind of work with having a new baby? What is you have a baby who is highly attached and has separation anxiety and can't stay with anyone else? Or would you stop doing a lot of the business trips once you have the LO? Or would you just put baby in someone else's care despite the possible trauma?

Thats the thing about babies and kids: its like a box of chocolates- you never know what you're going to get.

I think your 5 years apart plan seems like a good one for your family. This has worked really well for my cousin who just had her second child now that her DD is in kindergarten.

GL whenever you do decide to try!

I don't think this post is very supportive, there are so many unknowns with having a baby, why select those specific ones? Maybe it will be the easiest baby on the planet. Maybe the OP's DH is staying at home now, who knows? Plus the OP has not even addressed her childcare situation or asked for input on it.

Regarding the original post, I think you should go for it and TTC in August. Who knows what will happen but the timing sounds just fine if it does. I'm sure you will find a way to make it work.

[JuniperMama]

Originally Posted by JElaineB

I don't think this post is very supportive, there are so many unknowns with having a baby, why select those specific ones? Maybe it will be the easiest baby on the planet. Maybe the OP's DH is staying at home now, who knows? Plus the OP has not even addressed her childcare situation or asked for input on it.

Regarding the original post, I think you should go for it and TTC in August. Who knows what will happen but the timing sounds just fine if it does. I'm sure you will find a way to make it work.

Thanks for the words of support!

For the record - travel for this position will be infrequent. As I mentioned, this program does 1 international trip per year. Any other travel would be highly infrequent and all domestic. We're looking at no more than 4 trips per year and, with the exception of this one week-long trip, it would be for a couple days at a time.

My DH is VERY involved in our child's life as he would be with any future children. We were blessed with excellent in-home childcare when DS was very small. The place he went was run by an older couple and they were "Grandma and Papa" to the 6 kids they cared for. It was a loving family situation. I am hoping that either they will still be available or there will be a place like it when the time comes.

In an ideal world, we will hopefully be able to negotiate for me to work part-time in office and part-time from home. However, this job is new (only 3 months in) and it will take time to build the kind of credibility that would allow me to negotiate something like that.

This forum is about SUPPORTING working mothers. : We all carry enough concern and guilt about not being able to be home full-time with our children. We're fully aware of the implications of the situation and do our best to mitigate any downsides while maximizing the upsides (and there are many!)

I'd really appreciate any additional feedback on the original question of TTC with upcoming travel. Thanks!

[gabry]

I know you're well aware that there are a lot of "what ifs", and it's impossible to predict when you'll get pregnant and how the pregnancy will make you feel. That said, I would go ahead and start. You'll have a chance of having your baby when you would like it best, otherwise, you might wonder. Also, and this part is from the viewpoint of someone who's had several miscarriages and not much "fertile time" left - I would not let any practical considerations get in the way of TTC. Who knows how long it might take.. And, worst case scenario, if you can't go on the trip, that's not the end of the world either.
Oh, and lastly, I've traveled during all of my pregnancies, and don't feel it had any effect on whether or not I miscarried. As for the stress - I'm not sure, I think it might have an impact, but don't know of any studies..
Good luck!

[wetcement101]

Not to be bossy, but based on the reasons you're sharing I'd wait.
I had a very unpleasant pregnancy that ended in a miscarriage after 3 weeks. I couldn't eat/think/function well at all while pregnant, and losing a baby after such short time was terrible and I'm glad I was home... My next pregnancy was fabulous and I only missed one day of work. My point is that if you are counting on an easy pregnancy because your first was easy your body may have different plans.
I would want to focus on work exclusively while out of town on a big project, instead of scheduling midwife appointments and buying onesies. If I weren't so old I'd go for 5 years apart, too!