post c/s check in

[franjapany]

I know there are a few more of you who ended up with a c/s -

how are you all doing?

For me things have gone really well. It's been 12 days now and I am feeling strong and full of energy. My scar is healing nicely and breastfeeding is going great! In that respect I am really glad that I labored for so long before going to the hospital - we never had any bonding issues and I have more milk than enough.
My body is also almost back to normal, can't believe how fast my belly bounced back! I am rather starting to worry about eating enough, or else I will end up looking like a stick soon - I guess producing all this milk really consumes a lot of energy. The bleeding has almost finished, although I also noticed there is more, the more I move (Kylarooh, I think you said the same thing) and I still have a funny feeling when I pee...
A few days ago I had a little blues, because I watched BoBB again and saw all these homebirths and the moment, the mother picks up the baby from between her legs or lifts it out of the water and puts it on her chest and welcomes it to the world... I just had to cry, because I missed out on that and it made me so sad. I've talked a lot about it though with DP. we've talked a lot about the labor and birth in general and it has taken us a while to actually process the whole experience and probably still will take a little while longer.
It really consoles me though that I feel, I have done everything I could and in the end a cesarean was just inevitable. Had I been in hospital from the start, it would have happened a lot earlier (like probably maybe 40 hrs earlier). I guess if we had realized that noah was presenting with his brow really early on we may have been able to shift him somehow. But at the point where I decided to go to hospital, trying to change his position would have been much more dangerous for him and for me than a c/s.
Apart from that: I am madly in love with my child : and every day he is here is such a gift! And DP has been and still is doing a great job being a papa and supporting me in every possible way! What a lucky chick I am

So, how is everybody else?

[elisheva]

Not in your DDC, but I totally hear you about the disappointment following a c/s. It's totally ok to be completely in love with your baby yet be disappointed/frustrated/whatever with how he came into the world. The healing does take a while and, IMO, often comes in spurts. I would go weeks without crying at the memory of it and then have a total breakdown to my DH. It's been nearly 19 months for me now and the emotion is far less raw, but is still there. Be patient and loving with yourself and let whatever feelings come as they will.

s

[Kylahroo]

Originally Posted by elisheva

It's totally ok to be completely in love with your baby yet be disappointed/frustrated/whatever with how he came into the world.

I've had the same feelings. However, I have had 4 previous vaginal births (3 at home in the water) so I'm not mourning a vaginal birth nearly as much as you must be, Franziska!! I'll be thinking of you and any future vbac's you might have! I've been saying for a while that Juniper was probably our last, but I might feel the need to "end on a high note". I don't know. We'll talk about it in a couple of years.

Physically, I'm doing pretty good. Juniper will be 1 month tomorrow. I don't like looking at or touching my scar. Mostly because half of it is numb. That's a really weird feeling. Last night I finally was able to peel off the adhesive from the bandage they had on the first few hours (yep, took 4 weeks). If I suck it in, my stomach is almost back to where it's been, yet I still cannot fit in most of my pre-pregnancy pants, have 2-3" to lose in my waist and 16# to lose before I'm back to my pre-pregnancy weight.

Walking was hard for the first several weeks. I'm doing pretty good now - there's been a big difference in my energy level between week 3 and week 4. I actually could see myself starting an exercise routine in another week or two. I have a "baby and me yoga" DVD that I've been wanting to try! I'm still so loose in my hips - lots of popping going on down there when I move around too much. But, I think it's just my hips going back to normal - they were at least 41-42" at the end and are now 38" (normal for me is about 37-38").

Juniper is doing great. I'm also glad I labored for so long as my milk came in as quickly as it did with my vaginal births (I was worried about that). She's up to 12 1/2# today! Just a chunky little thing and reminding us a lot of ds1.

[kltroy]

I'm glad you are both doing so well - I remember feeling just orders of magnitude better after 2 weeks... and again after 4 weeks. For me, the most frustrating thing that people would say to me is "Well, at least you have a healthy baby". Yes of COURSE that's the most important thing, but being disappointed about the birth is normal and ok. I think we build the whole birth experience up in our minds and spend so much time preparing that to end up not getting it (or in my case, not even experiencing labor) is a tremendous disappointment.

FWIW, Franzisca, my VBAC this time around was an amazing healing experience for me since I had never had a vaginal birth - I'm sure your future VBAC (assuming you want more kids) will be the same way for you.

[JustVanessa]

I just wanted to pop in and say with ds1 I had numbness around the scar for around 6 months and it slowly went away. I have full feeling now.