any reasons NOT to attend a homeschool conference?

[rumi]

Hi folks - I need some help addressing my fears.

Normally I would never think about attending a homeshcool conference because they are out of my budget. Case closed. Now I have the opportunity to attend one as time and place coincide with another trip I have to take, and so travel and stay are covered. All I have to pay is registration and I am planning to volunteer to get a cut on that. But - I find myself wondering ... will I fit in? will I relate to people there? will there be peer pressure? will I measure up?

If it were a particular style of h/s and we were of that style maybe it would be easier to know that we would fit in. But it is an unschool conference, and so how do we know our approach to u/s is compatible with anyone elses???
I am not sure why I have this feeling that my approach to learning would not find resonance with others ... whether I feel inferiority complex, fear of being the only person of color (as always, so far, happens at homeschool group events we attend, but they are anyway smaller groups of people, so it is easy to ignore), afraid no one will talk to me, or that dd, who is only 5 and unpredictable as to how she will socialise in a new group of kids, might not have fun [anyway this is not critical, because she need not come along, though ideally it would be more worthwhile if she could have fun there as well].

any thoughts ...?

[elizawill]

aw mama, don't overthink this so much. yes, it may be all of those things.....but i highly doubt it will be any of them. a homeschool conference could be very beneficial & enjoyable. and if it is lame - chalk it up to experience and move on.

as for worrying about your homeschool style, i would be shocked ...totally floored actually, if you stood out there and anyone asked you or judged you about your methods. unschoolers vary greatly across the board and no one family there will unschool identical, yk? as for your dd, there is nothing your 5 year old can do that will disrupt or stand-out at a homeschool convention. i promise. as for peer pressure and measuring up....you will be fine. homeschool conventions are mostly about consumerism to be honest, and what & how you live your life is of little interest to the mamas there ready to learn from the courses and spend some money.

hugs to you

[Lillian J]

I've been to a whole lot of conferences - well, actually, the same one on an annual basis - and I can't imagine anyone asking you anything about how you homeschool or even caring about it if they heard. There won't be any peer pressure at all. There's just a lot of joy and excitement all over the place at an unschooling conference. There are children running all over the place - some clingy, some shy, some outgoing, some way out there. You won't need to give a thought to your style one way or another - it will just be people with people, and you have the choice of whether to socialize or not. If you want people to talk to you, you'll need to make an effort to talk to them too - but if you're volunteering, that will come pretty naturally. Sometimes when people are shy, others get the idea they're rather be left alone - so if people do leave you alone, be aware that they might just think that's your preference. But regardless, there will be enough going on that you won't have to worry about the social part. What Elizawill said about the consumerism nature of conferences is definitely true of many, but certainly not of the large CA ones I used to be involved with - the exhibit hall was just a minor and pretty insignificant part of that, much to the annoyance of some of the vendors - and it will not be a big part of an unschooling one either. And there won't be courses at an unschooling conference - there will just be casual inspiring talks and lots of fun workshops. Just GO! Lillian

[mommyto4grits]

I agree with these Mama's, and I loved the conference I went to a few weeks ago!

[mommy68]

The H/S conference in our state is in my city (25 min away from me) and I have never been. I've never wanted to go mainly due to the crowds, also having to find a place to park, child care, money, various reasons. I also feel like it will be very overwhelming to have it all right in front of my face in one place. I get sooo overwhelmed just by looking at websites with H/S curriculum. I'd likely end up comparing myself to the other mama's I see and getting a headache from all that's out there to look at.

I have H/S our children off and on since 1999 and each year I say I will go to the conference and then I end up not going. Maybe one day I will.

[Lillian J]

Just another note - the ones I've been to haven't been unschooling conferences but have been much more like them in tone - here's a link to the 2007 one - just incredibly inspiring and fun, with the other people there being actually the funnest part, the vendor hall being just a small part you could easily miss if you weren't looking for it, and lots of activities specifically for the children themselves, teens, and whole families playing together... - Lillian

[Panthira]

I'm really excited that we will be attending our first HS conference this year. I'm very cautious (not really shy) with people, so it should be interesting. I think the great thing about homeschool families, is that we're so diverse in our beliefs and our reasons for homeschooling. I think you'll fit right in.

(Lillian, will you be going to Sac this yr?)

[Ruthla]

The only reason I wouldn't attend a HS conference would be financial or practical considerations, or if I had reasons to beleive the conference would completely not apply to me (for example, I wouldnt' attend a Christian Homeschooling conference).

It sounds to me like your situation doesn't fall into any of those categories. I think you should go and have fun!

[umbrella]

Oh, I would love to be able to go to the conferences I've been hearing about. With determination, I could make it work irt transportation and expenses, but childcare is my main problem right now. I'd have no other adult to go with me this year, and my youngest is 2. Just, not going to happen. An infant, sure, a 4 or 5 year old, tricky but more workable. 2/young 3? No way.

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by Panthira

(Lillian, will you be going to Sac this yr?)

Well, it's kinda' tempting to drop by for a while to see old friends, soak up a little of the good vibes at that amazing event, and visit other good friends in that area at the same time. I'm back in Sonoma County now, just a little over a two hour drive away... Lillian

[ebethmom]

I tend to get nervous in the face of new and uncharted experiences, too. Keep all of your 'self talk' positive! Remind yourself how great your kids are and how much you like how YOU homeschool. I would love to go to and unschool conference! We do use a curriculum, but I've always been interested in unschooling.

Our local homeschool conference happens next weekend. We went once and probably won't go again. We're already set on our curriculum. Our local conference is small and run by a very conservative Christian group. We are Christian, but disagree with a lot of the fear based theology that we encountered there. I was afraid dh was going to tell someone just how wrong they were!

[rumi]

thanks folks for understanding ,..

let me come clean on where my fears are coming from ...

in the past whenever i have joined yahoogroups in unschooling i am turned off pretty fast and either set to nomail or unsub.

same thing doesn't happen on MDC, maybe because there is a wider readership pool, people tend to be more moderate? I feel like only dedicated passionate unschoolers like myself would take the time to attend a conference, and maybe there won't be place for the middle path either? And there may be peer pressure and a sense of "unschoolier than thou ... " Like if you limit TV then you arent radical enough? If you prevent your teenager from attending a party where drugs are there, you are not free and liberated ... as a PP said, it can be "in your face..." plus I do fear the consumerism and all the showing off of catalogues. I really am a buy-nothing type of person (not to mention on very low income) and would rather not have to wear that on my sleeve just to avoid feeling inferior to the unschool shopping spree atmosphere that I fear.

Not to say I won't go, I will. Thanksf or the confidence boost!

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by rumi

let me come clean on where my fears are coming from ...

Ah! I get it. But what you'll find is that the very same people who may come across a certain way in email groups are actually a lot warmer and fuzzier in real life - this is something I know for a fact to be the case. And, just as in park days and such, you'll find that people are just talking about a lot of simple, daily life things, so it's unlikely that you'll be surrounded by an "unschoolier than thou" atmosphere. But, of course, you'll want to not be in an unconsumerish than thou" mode either :. But seriously, I can't imagine what catalogues or merchandise people would be touting at an unschooling conference - there will obviously be some vendors, because the income is needed to pay the bills, but those will only be fun things and even those will be minimal and very easy to avoid. For one thing, vendors find that unschoolers don't buy much in the way of specialized "educational" products (because they find educational things in so many other ways), so the vendors don't flock to those conferences the way they do to the ones where lots of people are going to be looking for curricula. And it's very unlikely that many people will be judging what other people think - they'll just be happy to be together with all the families having fun. Have fun! Lillian

[isaberg]

My trip to the giant homeschool convention, and what I saw there...

I think if you stick to big conferences, you'll be fine. The small ones are going to be a bit weirder. That said....

I went to the MN Christian homeschool conference here a few months back. It was huge - several thousand folks, 200+ vendors - and it was so much fun just sitting and crowd-watching. There were people of every stripe - Mennonites, Pentecostals, women in headcoverings, women in skirts, women in jeans, women in sweatpants, women with dreadlocks. Women with nose piercings. OK, I only saw two nose piercings, but I didn't check everyone. :-)

I worry a little bit that we're starting to buy into the whole Red/Blue state Fox News attitude that "I don't want to be with people who aren't like me. I don't like them, and they won't like me." Yes, probably most of them won't be like you. And some will. But at a big conference, who cares? You can pick and choose what speakers to listen to, pick and choose which of the delightful (drool, drool) booths you want to be at - nature exploration supplies? Creationist textbooks? Games for learning? The absolutely fabulous science booth? Nobody's keeping track. And honestly, the only conversations that you will probably fall into are with vendors - everyone else is terribly busy trying to see everything. It would have been almost lonely, if I had had time to think about it.


I promise you, at a big conference, there's nobody at the door screening people for belief or style of homeschooling. The cute teenager in the floor-length skirt and headcovering helping at the registration booth is going to beam at you, help you all she can, and she will NOT ask you to come to Jesus. She may ask you how many children you have, and when you tell her you're not homeschooling at all, but teaching six middleschoolers (like I did) it won't occur to her that you don't belong. She'll be so delightful that your mind will stray, just a minute, to "wouldn't it be nice to have twelve kids JUST LIKE THAT?" before your head clears.

Did you know most conferences let grandparents come in for free? They WANT people who are dubious about homeschooling to come. They WANT to equip people to teach their children at home. They are GLAD to see you. So some vendors sell books you don't agree with? So does Barnes & Noble.

The speakers will range from really, really "out there" to really, really helpful, and you can pick & choose what you like, and order CDs of those talks that you can't get to. Some of the very helpful speakers may include some bible verses, and perhaps a prayer at the beginning. But nobody's checking to see if you're bowing your head. And even the conference I went to had a few talks on unschooling. Do you want to listen to talks from people who have been doing home education for many years, from many different angles, or do their religious beliefs negate any helpful things they might have to say?

I say (if you haven't figured it out already :-) that if you can make it to a big conference, go. It may be a cross-cultural experience, but that doesn't mean you can't come out with great ideas to take home, along with your huge piles of books and loot.

[isaberg]

Originally Posted by rumi

thanks folks for understanding ,..
and maybe there won't be place for the middle path either? And there may be peer pressure and a sense of "unschoolier than thou ... " Like if you limit TV then you arent radical enough? If you prevent your teenager from attending a party where drugs are there, you are not free and liberated ... as a PP said, it can be "in your face..."

And Rumi, I think you've hit the nail on the head. What a great way of putting it. Obnoxious fundamentalists are found equally in the religious and secular spheres. :-(

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by isaberg

I think if you stick to big conferences, you'll be fine. The small ones are going to be a bit weirder.

I think it probably depends a lot on your geographical location. Our California one is probably half the size of the one you describe, but it's very open minded and welcoming, and with a fraction of the vendors. I once ran into a friend from the South in the lobby, and her eyes were like saucers and her mouth open - she said she'd never been to anything like it. She said she's only been to conferences where there were class type sessions with people telling you "how to homeschool" rather than the more low key and informal talks and workshops we had. And the unschooling conferences are even smaller, but they're known for being friendly and open too. Lillian

[rumi]

But, of course, you'll want to not be in an unconsumerish than thou" mode either .

: you said it, sister

one reason I love MDC is it's one of the few places I can find ppl who live even more simply than we do ... gives us inspiration to try new things in that direction. ok, keeping an open mind for the conference