ok, i feel your pain.... well, i felt it, that is..lol
i had horrible problems with this after dd1 and could barely sit at 4wks pp. i had used the steroid creams or suppositories that were prescribed by my midwife but they seemed to do *nothing*. it was the worst, most horrible part of my postpartum life.... i never thought silly hemorrhoids could do that.
fastforward to this preg/birth...i had hemorrhoids (not painful or bothersome) during pregnancy so i knew i was doomed after the birth....and i was right as rain. well i took a radically different approach than the last time. i remained upstairs and in bed for nearly a FULL week... off my bottom for almost the whole time. this was paramount. also i did calmoseptine ointment, garlic (not to be used if there is bleeding though...i think it's pretty caustic to open tissue), herbal sitz once a day and warm sitz two additional per day. i took a product called fruit-eze (had on hand for my dd1's constipation issues...) to avoid constipation...this product is great if you have issues like this for anyone in the family! SO by 2wks pp I was nearly all better. Which was shocking for me considering how it went w/ dd1.... over a month i swear. i was miserable in my immediate pp days...crying and whining b/c i thought for sure i was in for another month of pain and i thought it was so unfair b/c i had this fabulous homebirth and i just wanted to get out and about and show everyone how wonderful i was doing (yes, i'm a loser).
I started really getting out and about with both kids at 2wks and, guess what? everyone thought i was looking/doing so wonderfully! so it worked afterall...
wow, really long post but i just feel so badly for anyone suffering with this issue...especially while caring for one or more children!!
hope something helps!!