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when should i let her shave?

post #1 of 116
Thread Starter 
My 9.5year old is asking how old she needs to be to start shaving her legs. I've been dreading this! What do you guys think a good age is for this?
post #2 of 116
I let my dd shave her underarms at 11 and her legs at 12.
post #3 of 116
I'd say if she has underarm hair or has started her period it would be ok. I also would be fine with it if she had very hairy legs that made her self-conscious.

If she is really curious, she will shave. I know I tried it at that age with my grandfather's razor... I shaved my arms a couple of times just to try it.

So... One way or the other, I'd discuss it with her... Does she think she needs it? Does she simply want to try? Did someone else tell her she needs to?

Whether you are saying ok to it or no, I would discuss that it's important not to share razors with anyone (it's kind of like toothbrush), that when the time comes she should use cream, etc.

Let us know what you decide.
post #4 of 116
I was teased for having very hairy limbs, so that's my bias. . .

but, I would let her do it now if she wants to. It's not expensive, immoral, unhealthy, or dangerous. She can shave if she chooses. She can quit if she chooses, no biggie.

I would buy one of the razors with the shaving gel built in - much easier to use.

If she's merely asking, kinda like, when can I get a driver's license, then you can be vague say some girls shave at 11, some at 18, some never do.
post #5 of 116
: This is a perfect opportunity for her to experience some autonomy with few risks. I'm one to say that its her body, and if she wants to shave, fine. You may well find she loses interest, in any case
post #6 of 116
In answer to her question, I would tell her that she's old enough to shave if she has hair that needs shaving off. Then let her pick out a razor, show her how, and that's that.
post #7 of 116
When she's hairy enough to be self conscious about it ... it's time to let her.

I needed to by 5th grade but didn't start to do it regularly until 6th grade - unless you count the time I did it when I was 5 out of curiosity. What a mess!

FWIW - I hate shaving and tend to just go hairy most of the time unless I will be showing leg. I'm too hairy to just make an "I'm OK with myself" statement... I'm more "Yes I have a hormone imbalance." I've tried waxing and other hair yanking methods and my skin doesn't respond well. A blade seems to irritate my skin badly, too. About a year ago I changed to using a Braun men's electric shaver - mine is a syncropro with the self cleaning base - and it's so much better for me. No cuts, my skin is so much better off, I can do it comfortably on the floor instead of contorting in the shower. It's a little slower than a blade but you can watch TV or talk on the phone while you do it. They're pricey at the outself but worth it, IMO. It can take a few weeks for your skin to adjust, though, and to actually feel smooth with an electric. I'm never going back to a blade. When my girls are old enough to shave I'm gonna encourage them to go electric - but that's years away. (I've had no luck with women's electric shavers... the braun men's ones really get close though!)
post #8 of 116
We made my daughter wait until this past spring, when she started her period. A big factor as well was people making fun of her calling her Sasqatch etc. I told her to hold her head high, as in character building however it hurt me deeply to do so. I worked on my husband until he relented (she is becoming more and more mature looking and he is really worried about her growing up too fast) and finally we allowed her to shave but not past the tops of her knees. This has worked well and she is content. She was already shaving her under arms at my suggestions-we didn't wait for Dad on this one whoops. I feel like we have to let go a little but we don't want to put her in any situations that require mauture decision making yet. She is 12 not 16. We may be a little harder on her than some but she really has a good head on her shoulders and I like to think that we have contributed to that.
post #9 of 116
"but, I would let her do it now if she wants to. It's not expensive, immoral, unhealthy, or dangerous. She can shave if she chooses. She can quit if she chooses, no biggie. "
I agree with this!!
post #10 of 116
Not to long ago our nine yo dd wanted to start shaving. She's don't it the one time so far. I say if she really wants to try it, then there really is no reason not to let her.
post #11 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by RunnerDuck View Post
When she's hairy enough to be self conscious about it ... it's time to let her.

I *completely* agree with this! My dd started wanting to shave at the age of 9, so we bought her an electric razor. She doesn't always shave, but she's free to do so when she wants.

compostmom, your post made me sad.
post #12 of 116
I started shaving my legs at like 11 1/2.

And then my underarms when I actually started getting hair under there which was at 14.
post #13 of 116
If she's old enough to be self conscious, let her.


It's funny, I can be so rigid about so many things, (as I'm sure most of you know ) but one thing I will never do to dsd is make her feel uncomfortable about hair on her body, or get what she thinks is an ugly haircut.

I remember my mom forcing haircuts she chose on me and crying about how I looked.

She's been shaving since she was 7, and she was really hairy.

What can I say? Her dad looks like a bear.
post #14 of 116
I agree with the pp's that say go ahead and let her.

I have dark hair, and my mom really resisted letting me shave because she believed the hair would grow in darker and coarser : She held me off until I was about 10 or 11, and then made me use a Nair product :: After about 6 months, I started using my dad's razor and when he figured that one out, he got me my own razor. I was careful and never had a problem.

I need to look into one of those gel razors!
post #15 of 116
I would probably say that I would make an offer to help my dd choose something safe to shave with when she asked, demonstrate, and then put the ball in her court. Sometimes, for my dd, just knowing she can do or have something is enough. I remember trying shaving myself because I was afraid my parents would say no. It was a painful mess. I don't want to do that with dd.
post #16 of 116
Quote:
If she's old enough to be self conscious, let her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by operamommy View Post
I *completely* agree with this! My dd started wanting to shave at the age of 9, .... She doesn't always shave, but she's free to do so when she wants.

compostmom, your post made me sad.
I agree with every word of this. and yes, very sad
no my dd is not 9 yet, so maybe not every word, but i was once
post #17 of 116
I'd let her shave whenever she wants to start. They're her legs, and I'd think it should be up to her.
post #18 of 116
Sounds like she's old enough to shave if she wants to. I have gone through periods in my life of shaving everything and shaving nothing. I've talked a little about it with my girls and will discuss is more as they get older. I venture to guess I'm not far from having a shaving lesson with my eldest dd.
post #19 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by CompostMom View Post
We made my daughter wait until this past spring, when she started her period. A big factor as well was people making fun of her calling her Sasqatch etc. I told her to hold her head high, as in character building however it hurt me deeply to do so. I worked on my husband until he relented (she is becoming more and more mature looking and he is really worried about her growing up too fast) and finally we allowed her to shave but not past the tops of her knees. This has worked well and she is content. She was already shaving her under arms at my suggestions-we didn't wait for Dad on this one whoops. I feel like we have to let go a little but we don't want to put her in any situations that require mauture decision making yet. She is 12 not 16. We may be a little harder on her than some but she really has a good head on her shoulders and I like to think that we have contributed to that.


My mom agreed to let me shave whenever I wanted to. I was a gymnast and in leotards a lot. I needed to shave. I can't imagine forcing your 12 year old daughter to endure name-calling and forbiding her to shave to build character.
post #20 of 116
Quote:
Originally Posted by BedHead View Post
In answer to her question, I would tell her that she's old enough to shave if she has hair that needs shaving off. Then let her pick out a razor, show her how, and that's that.
:
With my dds, there wasn't a particular age, just when it seemed to make them self concious. Each child is different, so there really is no "right age".
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