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Moms of B/G twins

post #1 of 32
Thread Starter 
Do you ever feel like, well, you don't REALLY have twins? I know that sounds slightly insane. Perhaps it's because my babies are so completely different in looks. They barely look like they even have the same parents much less shared the womb. Which is weird for me because the other four are often taken for twins because they DO look so much alike. Especially Noah, Isabella, and Ben.

Anyway, I often feel like my two were just siblings born at the same time. I sometimes doubt they will even have that 'twin bond' everyone else talks about. Am I weird?
post #2 of 32
Nope...not weird. Unless we both are!

My b/g twins look COMPLETELY different. My girl has curly brown hair and my boy has straight dishwater blond hair. They're 3 now and no one ever asks if they're twins.
post #3 of 32
I think my b/g twins look very diffrent but many people tell me how much they look alike.* I think the twin bond is always strong no matter how diffrent they are.* My twins are almost a year now and they are so diffrent that they seem to balance each other out a bit, but it is so easy to see how much they love and depend on each other.* No matter what they will be close because they are always together and just to see them together, I think it is so neat to always have someone your size to play with and I am sure it was that way in the womb as well.* One of my sono pic is my girl with her foot on my boys head, I think she was getting her shots in early because he is the bully of the two now.* At any rate, don't worry about it, it is not bad that they will be able to be individuals insted of just "the twins" like many twins are.
post #4 of 32
My b/g twins are very different too. Not only in looks (my son is fair skinned/light hair like me, my dd is olive with dark hair/eyes like her dad), but in size. They're 20 months and my ds wears 3T clothing and my dd wears 12 month clothing. They *do* seem to have a twin bond, but hardly anybody believes me when I say that they're twins!
post #5 of 32
I could have written Chantal's post--

my babies don't even look like siblings. My girl has fair skin and strawberry bond hair and my boy looks like he has been tanning all summer w/ dark hair.

These are not great pics but are recent.

http://i277.photobucket.com/albums/k...j/IMG_2829.jpg

http://i277.photobucket.com/albums/k...j/IMG_2816.jpg

My guess is that when they are a few years older, I will never get asked "Are they twins?"

I think they will still have the twin bond tho-- atleast , I hope they do.
post #6 of 32
I guess for me, the thing is that I see the three personalities of my triplets as so different that I think of them completely as individuals. My nieces are identical and I definitely feel that there is more awareness of their "twin-ness" with them because of the confusion of who is who.

I don't know that I ever feel I don't "really" have triplets, but I do know I am waiting for the days when we can just go for a walk and look like a big family with kids close together rather than obviously a family with multiples. My two boys look so different that I think we probably won't even look like we have twins.
post #7 of 32
Chantel,

That's so apt for you to write this for me even during pregnancy.
With my eldest two (boys) I still get asked if they are twins regularly, but with a b/g combo this time, ( probably. still not 100% confirmed), I feel that these two will be the least 'a set' of the whole family. As the girls get older they too have similarities that match them together.
The boys have dark hair and the girls are both blonde - what a 'fluke' it feels that way!!!! and then these two could be blonde/dark/ginger and any shade inbetween. How come my twins feel like singletons!?!?
post #8 of 32
Our twins do not look alike at all. Our son is 1 1/2 inches taller and is very skinny with brown hair. Our daughter has long blond hair and is slim, but not like him. Our twins though have the "twin bond". They can finish each other sentences and share so much. When they were little, they are almost 8, one would start to make up a song and then the other would start to sing right along, knowing the same words.
post #9 of 32
Thread Starter 
It's nice to log on and see I'm not some weird freak of nature! It still feels so surreal to have TWO babies and I've known since January. I do love to read that they have that bond. Right now they don't even really notice each other much. Well, Claire is definitely soothed by having Ben near her but he's oblivious.
post #10 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Intertwined View Post
Right now they don't even really notice each other much. Well, Claire is definitely soothed by having Ben near her but he's oblivious.
Chantel, they're like 6w old! My boys didn't notice each other til they were about 9m, and then it was like, "Wth -- who are you and where did you come from???"

My mom is a retired teacher, and she remembers a set of boy/girl twins she taught in 7th or 8th grade, so they were 12 or 13? the girl called the boy her "partner from birth."
post #11 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by DoomaYula View Post
My mom is a retired teacher, and she remembers a set of boy/girl twins she taught in 7th or 8th grade, so they were 12 or 13? the girl called the boy her "partner from birth."
Awww!! We had a set of boy/girl twins in my youth group and they were so cute!! They would always swing dance together and they just adored each other. It made me want boy/girl twins one day.
post #12 of 32
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by DoomaYula View Post
Chantel, they're like 6w old! My boys didn't notice each other til they were about 9m, and then it was like, "Wth -- who are you and where did you come from???"

My mom is a retired teacher, and she remembers a set of boy/girl twins she taught in 7th or 8th grade, so they were 12 or 13? the girl called the boy her "partner from birth."
I KNOW! I just thought they'd have some memory of each other! :
post #13 of 32
Chantel,

You will be amazed at their own, unique bond when it unfolds. My two look very different (Zoe, brown hair, brown eyes, darker skin; Gage, blonde hair, blue eyes, very fair skin) but everyone always knows they are twins because of the way they are always walking hand-in-hand when we go shopping, or the one the other runs and checks when the other is hurt/crying, or the way they can sit in a little corner and play for hours at a time without a care for the outside world.

Whatever relationship your twins develop with be unique and beautiful in its own way. And for whatever it's worth, there are MZ twins that aren't close, and DZ twins who are inseparable (I know you know that already!).

I love having boy-girl twins; it's like watching your own gender study unfold before your eyes!
post #14 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Intertwined View Post
I KNOW! I just thought they'd have some memory of each other! :
Ask them about it when they're around 3-4yo. I once asked my boys if they remembered being in my tummy, and they said it was red and that T pushed R.

Granted, they could have just been... talking about something they saw on TV recently or something, but I wasn't asking them leading questions, and it seemed pretty believable!

As far as the bond, ugh, I think my boys are "over" their bond. They're together 24/7. I'm definitely over the fighting!
post #15 of 32
so glad to see other twin mamas here! mine are 4 mos old. when they are down on a blanket, they roll over and babble to each other. they also enjoy stealing toys from one another. the only time they don't get along is when someone scoots around and kicks or hits the other. i don't think they look alike at all, but even in "gender specific" clothing, people can't tell them apart. i look forward to watching them explore the world together. and for all the challenges that i face w/ two infants, i wonder how boring it might be to have just one baby at a time!
post #16 of 32
I have to laugh when people say my ds looks soooo much like his dad-since that isnt his dad. Not only that, but dh is very very white-he's like...Irish and German-whereas my sons bio dad is dark, has black hair, brown eyes. Looks NOTHING like my dh, lol (he's mixed-half mexican and blackfoot and half white). I dont think ds looks anything like dh but apparently others think differently.
post #17 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by DocsNemesis View Post
I have to laugh when people say my ds looks soooo much like his dad-since that isnt his dad. Not only that, but dh is very very white-he's like...Irish and German-whereas my sons bio dad is dark, has black hair, brown eyes. Looks NOTHING like my dh, lol (he's mixed-half mexican and blackfoot and half white). I dont think ds looks anything like dh but apparently others think differently.
Do you have b/g twins?
post #18 of 32
They are my only children so I have no singleton perspective, but to me the 'twin connection’ and the way they interact is definitely present. Maybe it w/b the same if they were born at different times, but I think they are a little closer being twins. I've never called them 'the twins' and rarely have their clothing coordinated because in my mind they are just my two children. That said, I do love listening to their conversations and watching them interact - but my sister says the same thing and her kids are two years apart! (The dynamic btwn siblings can be so varied. I have friends w/siblings that are super close throughout their lives and a couple of friends whose twins never got along with each other.)

My children look similar and many people recognize them as twins just because we are together. However, today with a group of children two people asked if my son and two other girls, not my daughter, were twins. So I guess they don’t look that much alike – or else they look like a lot of kids.
post #19 of 32
For me, my boys didn't seem to have any unusual bond with each other until they were more like 2 1/2. As babies they could have cared less about each other, they were more individually bonded to big sister.

Just because as babies they are acting like babies and not really that aware of the other doesn't mean that they won't have a twin bond. I got caught up in the expectation that they should be psychicly bonded from birth too (mine are MZ, so lots of pressure there), but then I realized I was being silly. I was worrying about this when they were 5 months old for pete's sake.

I don't doubt that there are some twins that have that special awareness shown openly from birth, but in talking to other moms, the experience we had (seemingly not that different until they were older) seems to be pretty common.

All the b/g twins I know who are my boys' age (5) are pretty tightly bonded (even though they can get antagonistic). My boys are very very close now, but I didn't think they would ever be when they were babies. (though both of them retain their tight bond with their sister)

So I would say that you're not alone, and that even though it's kind of a bummer sometimes and perhaps not exactly what you think "should" be...don't be too quick to judge. They're babies. Wait until they are ready to tell each other in words what they feel (when you can listen in on the monitor), defend each other on the playground, ect. When my boys were babies primarily they saw each other as a squirm lump of flesh that felt mighty good to teeth on and oooh, it even makes funny noises when I gum it!
post #20 of 32
Thread Starter 
Kitty, that just cracks me up! Ben was nursing on Claire's head the other day and got PISSED when I moved her to change her diaper! That's all she is, his pacifier.

I know I'm being a little silly, but it is nice to know I'm not the only one who's ever felt this way. So much attention is paid to MZ twins that sometimes I feel like I don't really have "real" twins. It's hard to put it accurately into words.
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