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Moms of B/G twins - Page 2

post #21 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Intertwined View Post

I know I'm being a little silly, but it is nice to know I'm not the only one who's ever felt this way. So much attention is paid to MZ twins that sometimes I feel like I don't really have "real" twins. It's hard to put it accurately into words.
Isn't it nice to know that sometimes there can be 'mommy wars' even within a specific group?

I've not heard a whole lot of intra-MOM bickering over MZ vs. DZ...BUT man oh man have I heard the "are yours real natural ones?" spoken. Both by outsiders and within the community, which really makes me angry. I don't doubt that there will be some people that treat b/g twins because they're obviously DZ and of course that means that someone must have used IVF. (pretty ridiculous, since as far as I know there's a strong genetic tendancy for DZ twins and MZ twins are more likely to occur with people using ART than the general population--so there's another twin myth busted!)

It's kind of funny, when my boys were born, due to TTTS there was a 2 lb and 2 inch different between them (T at 6 lbs looked like a regular baby, D at 4 lbs definitely looked like a preemie, even though he wasn't really.) People would ask the question if they were twins, and then ask 'what kind', and then argue with me about it. (finally I just told people they were 3 weeks apart to see if they caught the joke, sadly most people didn't).

I think people have in their minds' eye and cultural mythology what twins will be like. I also think that unless we grew up with twin sibs or are twins ourselves most of US have those same ideas and since we know intimately that reality is often different from fantasy sometimes it's hard to deal with. I don't think that's petty or silly. It can be pretty painful, actually.

I wonder with all the 'twins dolls' out there, most of which tend to be b/g twins, if we won't have at some point or another a flip in what's popular/desired...since people will be thinking of their b/g twin dolls when they grew up and testing out b/g name combos. I don't recall any specificly twin dolls (I'm 34) so mostly when I was aware of twins it was because they were MZ or very alike-looking DZ. It'll be interesting to see what it's like, if any different, when our kids are parenting.
post #22 of 32
When my babes were born they didn't look anything alike-now they are 5 months and they are starting to look alot more alike. It's funny when I go to the store or somewhere people ask if they are both mine and I say yes and then they ask me how close together they are in age (DS is like 3lbs bigger) I tell them about 5 hrs. Then there is always a pause while they are thinking about my answer and then its always a shocking reply of "They're twins?!"
post #23 of 32
my boy girl twins look nothing alike. Jude has blonde straight hair and is huge. Ava has dark curly hair and is tiny. They are super bonded tho. No worries there. More people think my older two are twins b/c they are the same size (boy girl too). I was at the grocery the other day and some lady asked me if my 2 (Jude), 4 and 5 yr olds were triplets. I said that I have twins and she said 'oh, I didn't even see the one on your back! (my other 2 yr old, Ava)'.
post #24 of 32
Mine are so different it's hard to believe they're even siblings. They don't look a bit alike, they're different sizes and always have been, they're built differently, they have entirely different personalities, and they've never, ever, ever given me any indication at all that they have any kind of bond at all. Even as tiny infants, they only irritated and annoyed each other, and now really the only relationship they have is jealousy over me, and constant bickering. They don't give a hoot if the other one is upset, and they rarely even seem happy to see each other if they've been separated.

Each of them has a fairly good bond with my oldest, though.

So yeah. Twins? Only technically!
post #25 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by dgonz880 View Post
It's funny when I go to the store or somewhere people ask if they are both mine and I say yes and then they ask me how close together they are in age (DS is like 3lbs bigger) I tell them about 5 hrs. Then there is always a pause while they are thinking about my answer and then its always a shocking reply of "They're twins?!"
I do the same thing. I love watching people's reactions when they ask how close in age are they and I reply 12 minutes.
post #26 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tigerchild View Post
I've not heard a whole lot of intra-MOM bickering over MZ vs. DZ...BUT man oh man have I heard the "are yours real natural ones?" spoken. Both by outsiders and within the community, which really makes me angry. I don't doubt that there will be some people that treat b/g twins because they're obviously DZ and of course that means that someone must have used IVF. (pretty ridiculous, since as far as I know there's a strong genetic tendancy for DZ twins and MZ twins are more likely to occur with people using ART than the general population--so there's another twin myth busted!)
I get asked if they were natural but I think when someone sees a woman in her forties w/young twins they assume it was an IVF pregnancy. It doesn't bother me when asked.

My neighbor has twins - w/o IVF. Mine were via IVF. When we are out together and people comment on the sets of twins living next door she always says...'Oh, but mine are natural!'. That used to bug me because of the way she said it - but it doesn't any more.

Mine were born together but not necessarily conceived together since I was using frozen embryos from two retrievals. They may have been conceived several years apart! Just think if my neighbor knew that - she would be saying they aren't really twins.
post #27 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Intertwined View Post
I know I'm being a little silly, but it is nice to know I'm not the only one who's ever felt this way. So much attention is paid to MZ twins that sometimes I feel like I don't really have "real" twins. It's hard to put it accurately into words.
That's so funny, because I get frustrated with not being able to find any advice specific to parenting MZ twins, because it seems like every single twin book out there assumes that your twins are DZ!

It's interesting to hear that there's frustration on the other side too.
post #28 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by dbsam View Post
My neighbor has twins - w/o IVF. Mine were via IVF. When we are out together and people comment on the sets of twins living next door she always says...'Oh, but mine are natural!'.
Wow. That is INCREDIBLY obnoxious! : Someone clearly has some issues with... I don't even know where to start!

Did you ask her what position she conceived in -- I'd really only consider missionary position in the bedroom to be "natural"
post #29 of 32
My 18mo b/g twins look totally different and have totally different personalities. But the boy looks A LOT like his older sister (my five-year-old), whereas the girl twin has a personality that is a lot more compatible with my five-year-old. So most of the time, what ends up happening is that the 5yr old girl and the 18 mo girl will play together and my little man will be off on his own doing his thang. (which usually involves climbing something/hurling himself off of something/ breaking something/ hitting someone etc.). I was worried about the twin thing getting in their way somehow, but it seems like I have three children of different ages. I don't know if it is because girls mature faster than boys or if it is just their personalities but my girl twin seems much more like a middle child and my boy like the baby. (she even says "Ani girl, Eyot (eliot) baby."
post #30 of 32

I will say that the queries over "natural" or not do

go away, well at least they did for me at about age 3.5. But...it is also the case that my boy is 3"-4" taller than his twin sister and has been a bit bigger for quite some time. It is more often the case that I am asked if they are twins for my two girls (18 months apart).

They are unhappy that they aren't triplets. My 3 are 8 yrs old b/g and 6 yr old g.

Kat
post #31 of 32
I don't think of our babies as twins, either. In fact, I refer to them as "babies" vs. "twins" most of the time.

For me, it also had to do with not knowing they were twins until the birth (we were quite surprised, to say the least!) So while most people get to think about the whole twin thing for months before the birth, we are still getting our minds around it.

But yeah, I think that they are two very different individuals who happen to share the same birthday...

Deb
post #32 of 32
The responses here are cracking me up!

My son is about 3.5 inches taller and 10lbs heavier than my little girl. He's always been in the 95th percentile for everything, and she prefers to hang out in the 3-5. So, size-wise they are quite different and we very rarely get the stares and comments we used to get when they were infants (they are 2).

The twin bond though, it is AMAZING. They anticipate each other's needs, they have huge vocabularies but do a lot of non-verbal communication, they work together to solve problems or puzzles, they snuggle, they comfort each other when one falls down, they speak for each other, they are so close it makes me get all weepy watching them play. My daughter is 36 minutes older, and it is funny to me how much my son defers to her and follows her lead. She definitely has the bossy older sister personality, she even tries to discipline him!

One kinda cute thing is that my son calls himself a girl. He won't say he's a boy, he's always either a big girl or a big kid. He says "I a big girl like sissy".
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