WWYD, if anything?

[Mama Poot]

So my older half sis sent me a bunch of baby stuff for our new arrival. One of the items was a pink bath towel that has the "Got Milk" logo on it with an embroidered picture of a baby bottle. If we didn't actually need bath towels so badly I would have passed it on to the nearest Goodwill, but I already took the tags off and besides that it didn't have a gift receipt. I'd like to explain to her why I didn't like it and why that whole "Got Milk" campaign is so invasive and destructive to the lactivist cause, at the same time I don't want to sound ungrateful for the thought and the gift. To make it even more tricky she's newly (finally) pregnant with her first child. I suppose this could be a perfect opportunity to introduce her to lactivism, but I see so much room for error. Help me, O wise women of MDC!

[yarngoddess]

You can try, give her some books and such to read- but honestly most women don't learn until they start breastfeeding a baby. That will be the true predictor- if she DOES breastfeed or not. Give her the info now, and then tell her you are there for any questions or help.

[homewithtwinsmama]

I would get rid of it, but I am a militant breastfeeding mama!

[TefferTWH]

I'd use a scissor and remove the bottle, maybe handpaint a nursing scene?

[kriket]

IMHO it's just a bath towel. I would be happy about the gift and let it go. If it really irks you that badly, when she has her LO you can take it over there as a burp cloth and "accidentally" leave it and "accidentally" never remember to pick it up. With a new babe she will eventually integrate it into her stash and you won't ever have to look at it again.

And I would take this opportunity to get her something that reads "strait from the tap" Or "I love boobies" and be sure to do a lot of BFing around her! One of my coworkers is pumping at work and it's got me curious how "all that" works. She showed me all the parts and where ever thing goes but I wish more women would BF in front of me so I could see how it works!

[MaryJaneLouise]

I think I would let it go, for the time being. Maybe try to rework the blanket so it could be something you would be comfortable using. I'd focus on the immediate goal of getting her into a good BFing relationship. But it really would depend on the relationship you have with your sis.

[Mama Poot]

Originally Posted by MaryJaneLouise

I think I would let it go, for the time being. Maybe try to rework the blanket so it could be something you would be comfortable using. I'd focus on the immediate goal of getting her into a good BFing relationship. But it really would depend on the relationship you have with your sis.

Well, we're not super close best friends or anything like that, but we have a good relationship. She's a chemical engineer and is into "the facts", so I'll probably have the most success with giving her scientific/medical information on breastfeeding. I'm thinking about sending her my copy of The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding as a start, and also a copy of Hale's because she has a congenital heart condition and that might help her sort through the questions she might have regarding medications she takes.

[JustJamie]

Can you add the word "Breast" or "Mama's" to the towel? Then the bottle will be assumed to be expressed breast milk.

And, *my opinion* of The Womanly Art - I'm reading it right now, because I'm applying to be a LLL leader. I am a nursing mom, breastfed my older daughter til just a few months ago (during my pregnancy and tandemed for about 10 weeks), and still nursing my younger daughter. That background given - reading The Womanly Art feels like I'm being beaten over the head with bricks. I'm VERY glad I didn't read it before the birth of my first daughter, because I probably would have been very turned off from breastfeeding. I think Dr. Sears' The Breastfeeding Book is a much gentler book to read during her pregnancy, and The Womanly Art for the first weeks after the baby is born.

[MarcyC]

As far as the gift, I would let it go. I wouldn't say anything to her. That'll just hurt her feelings and give bf'ing a bad name. Okay...it's a bath towel. Honestly, who other than you is going to see it? I'd use it and not get so upset over it.

As far as this being her first and nursing...I would just nurse in front of her whenever you're around her and talk about the benefits - not just the health benefits, but how convenient it is.

Rather than buying her a book - like a pp said, some books are just too harsh, I'd get her a nice nursing tank, some mother's milk tea, some organic granola bars to snack on...stuff like that. Maybe if you have enough money, get her a gift cert. to a really good lactation consultant in your area.

[Yulia_R]

Originally Posted by Mama Poot

So my older half sis sent me a bunch of baby stuff for our new arrival. One of the items was a pink bath towel that has the "Got Milk" logo on it with an embroidered picture of a baby bottle. If we didn't actually need bath towels so badly I would have passed it on to the nearest Goodwill, but I already took the tags off and besides that it didn't have a gift receipt. I'd like to explain to her why I didn't like it and why that whole "Got Milk" campaign is so invasive and destructive to the lactivist cause, at the same time I don't want to sound ungrateful for the thought and the gift. To make it even more tricky she's newly (finally) pregnant with her first child. I suppose this could be a perfect opportunity to introduce her to lactivism, but I see so much room for error. Help me, O wise women of MDC!

Even though I'm VERY much of a lactivist, I still thought it would have been too much to get rid of this towel. BUT then I imagined some pro-circ image on the towel and I realized that I would have cut this towel to small peices and throw it in the garbage LOL. So, I can totally see now how you feel.

Since she is pg, I definitely would send her some good links about bf and of course about cirumcision.

[asunlitrose]

Originally Posted by JustJamie

And, *my opinion* of The Womanly Art - I'm reading it right now, because I'm applying to be a LLL leader. I am a nursing mom, breastfed my older daughter til just a few months ago (during my pregnancy and tandemed for about 10 weeks), and still nursing my younger daughter. That background given - reading The Womanly Art feels like I'm being beaten over the head with bricks. I'm VERY glad I didn't read it before the birth of my first daughter, because I probably would have been very turned off from breastfeeding. I think Dr. Sears' The Breastfeeding Book is a much gentler book to read during her pregnancy, and The Womanly Art for the first weeks after the baby is born.

I've heard people say the same things about "The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers" by Newman. I always recommend "Breastfeeding Made Simple" to new parents, because it makes breastfeeding seem simple and natural, and discusses the instincts involved while at the same time discussing problems and how to fix them.

[Draupadi]

Let it go.
No one wants to be lectured about a gift they gave to someone.
Find another unrelated opportunity to be a lactivist.

[hollytheteacher]

Originally Posted by asunlitrose

I've heard people say the same things about "The Ultimate Breastfeeding Book of Answers" by Newman. I always recommend "Breastfeeding Made Simple" to new parents, because it makes breastfeeding seem simple and natural, and discusses the instincts involved while at the same time discussing problems and how to fix them.

My absolute fave was "So That's What They're For" It is very funny and informative and full of good information. I liked that it wasn't boring and only factual, but also gave a good perspective like your best friend telling you all about the ins and outs.

[Ruthla]

I might use some crafty skills to add the word "breast" or "mama" to the towel, so it will read "got breastmilk?" or "got mama milk?" with a picture of a bottle. DS got ebm in bottles plenty of times. Alternatively, just use the towel as is and don't worry too much about it. It IS only a towel, it's not like it's a diaper bag or something that you'll be seen with in public.

I think I'd hold off on explaining to sis about the finer points of lactivism or why you're offended by her choice of gift. Certainly educate her about breastfeeding and the perils of formula use, how to avoid being sucked in by the formula companies, etc, but keep it positive. Focus on the good parts of breastfeeding, not the negative, more subtle things like "bottle as image of baby in popular culture."

[2goingon2]

Um...it's a towel. And, it was a gift. Use some other opportunity to be a lactivist. Life is too short.

[MamieCole]

:

When I was PG with DS, some close family friends gave us a onesie that had a picture of a baby bottle with wheels and the words "Formule One" under it. (Dh and I like NASCAR, so they thought it would be cute.) I just smiled and said "Thank you." They don't need to know that I took the onesie to Goodwill with the tags still attached. I didn't feel like they were trying to send a message against breastfeeding...it was just a gift that missed the mark.

[ananas]

I wouldn't do anything, at this point. Show by example- she'll realize soon enough that you're a proud nursing mama.

[limabean]

Eh, bath towels generally don't leave the home, so no one but you will really even see it. As for the "Got Milk," I do have (breast)milk, and my baby does drink it from a bottle sometimes, so it wouldn't even occur to me to be upset over something like that.

[CAndMe]

Wrt the towel, I would probably just pass it on to goodwill or use it as a dust cloth. We got the onesies that match that in at the store I work in one time except the bottle was just a sticker with the size and I peeled them all off... Nobody suspects the childless college girl!

[readytobedone]

Originally Posted by WilliamsMama

Let it go.
No one wants to be lectured about a gift they gave to someone.
Find another unrelated opportunity to be a lactivist.

i agree with this. assuming a gift is given with good intentions (as most are), i don't think it's ever appropriate to critique a gift. i think you should just thank her as you would anyone who gave you a gift you don't particularly like! and then find every opportunity to discuss BFing, to BF in front of her, etc., etc. without ever mentioning the gift.