Oh goodness mammas, I'm so glad there is this thread!! I am feeling so terrified of losing this baby! It's such an emotional roller coaster, I feel like I'm going crazy. When I have symptoms and feel awful, I think, cool, the baby is fine. If a day passes with no nausea and I'm not too tired, then I'm nearly convinced the baby has died. I hold tight to the fact that my breasts hurt like crazy, as in too much for me to sleep on my stomach, my milk has run out, and I'm tired and short-tempered a lot. But honestly, I'm just scared stiff of hearing at the first appointment, "I'm so sorry, there is no heartbeat. The baby is not alive." My first appointment is Friday. I wish I could take anti-anxiety medicine or something, anything to take the edge off living with this damned fear. And I'm NOT a medicine person! But this fear, it is so horrible.
We have four perfect children, and it never occurred to me I would have a m/c (in February) and might have trouble having our last baby. I am about to turn 41 in August. I'm just praying for this little one, praying really hard. I have made a beautiful quilt for it. Well, two quilts actually. One for a boy, one for a girl. Every night when I wake up to go to the bathroom, I get worried and have trouble falling back to sleep right away. Damn, I wish the first trimester would END already!!! I'm staying as busy as humanly possible, and also being sure to rest and not overdo it. An interesting balancing act with four kids 10 and under, and homeschooling.
How are you all doing today? I'm so sorry about all your losses, mammas. Veganmamma, nice to see you in the due date club!! Let's hope that in while we're sharing birth stories instead of m/c stories!!