Thinking about egg donation

[angiepants]

Hello wise women and all,
I have been thinking a lot about donating eggs to a family in need. I have already had 2 ridiculously healthy kiddos of my own so I know the goods are viable but I have some questions and concerns. First off I think I would need to know who was getting my eggs and why. I know this sounds odd, but I would only be comfortable helping to start out a family if I knew that their intentions were true. I am not sure how I would know this but I think it would be more of a gut thing. I think I would also really be interested in donating to LBGT families and don't know how I could specify..?I have done a bit o' research online and I don't think I am interested in the fancy pants companies that arrange it all, i think i would like a much more grassroots arrangement. Anyone have any ideas where I would start?
Thanks for any and all input.

[biomama]

I think it's great you want to do this. I know there are many women who desperately want to be pregnant and can't. What you want to do is help them achieve that, and that is wonderful. : I'm glad there are people like you!

I don't have any specific information for you, but a few ideas. First, posting here is probably not a bad idea. It is probably low yield, since the people replying may not be local, but you never know! Second, I would suggest looking for local IF resources, the RESOLVE chapter near you, maybe? Third, what about finding a reproductive endocrinologist, and asking them? They may know more ways to avoid using the fancy services.


"but I would only be comfortable helping to start out a family if I knew that their intentions were true."

Not sure what you meant here... what would false intentions be? Or is this just a way for you to express that you would want to meet the couple first?

[angiepants]

I think where that is coming from is I used to work in a specific setting where people seemed to want to have children as a status symbol. By that I mean they were very reluctant mothers. I think that most people that are looking as far as egg donation are past this point but I still have a bad taste in my mouth from then. I would love to help someone who truly wants a baby-that's it. No other qualifications.

[californiajenn]

I was an egg donor three times so I have lots of experience. I'm now on the other side of the table so to speak, as we have male factor issues.

As much as you may not want a "fancy pants" agency, it's often the best way to start as a first time donor. It is much easier b/c the agency does this all the time and know the ins and outs. They have the contracts, timetables, and everything.

That said, I didn't want to go with the agency the second time so I posted at surromomsonline.com and met a wonderful couple.

The first cycle, the IPs did not want to meet me and I was a little sad but got over it. That is why i went with surromoms the second time. The problem is they did not get pregnant and I was DEVASTATED. It is a lot to have on your shoulders and to know the people made it much worse I think. Even though it wasn't my "fault," it still sucked. Something to consider.

Also, please be aware that most IP's are WAY past status symbol if they reach this point. Many are mortgaging homes and cashing in 401ks. They wouldn't do this if they did want a baby badly.

I think this is enough. Feel free to PM me for more info.