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Cesarean support circle IV (October 16- ) - Page 6

post #101 of 123
I probably won't have a c-section next time but wanted to drop in here anyway and say 'hi'. dd was a planned c-section who became a non-scheduled c-section. She came 15 days before her scheduled date. She was breech.
I think I really want to do a VBAC this time. I want to experience labor and at least give it a chance since I didn't before.

I can understand how one would be scared of the risks of a VBAC. My friend is pregnant with her second and is leaning toward a scheduled section. She pushed for hours with her son and doesn't want to go through that again.
post #102 of 123

Y'all are the greatest!

I am scheduled for a section tomorrow. Reading these posts has been soooooo comforting to me. I thank all the mamas who have come forward.

I had an emergency section in '99. I was at 32 weeks, my water broke, and the placenta had started to tear away from my uterus. Before they realized that, as I was pushing the baby out, her heatbeat would stop, so hense the emergency section. She was a healthy 5 llbs. I gave her up for adoption ( LONg story- and quite painful). The entire experience was terrifying and I really don't remember the particulars.

I am 39w with my second child, and I was planning on a VBAC. I am a different person than I was in '99- I am in infinitely better shape physically and emotionally.I have a loving partner that is with me all the way. : I strove for the entire pregnancy to have a vaginal birth because I felt that this was my chance to finally "do things right".

When I made the decision yesterday to have a repeat section, I was devistated. After meeting with my OB and my husband, and going over the facts relating to my pregnancy ( 9-10lb estimate, not dropping at all, no dialation or thinning- possible CPD, and my blood pressure has been rising to high levels), we made the decision to have a section. Reading your posts has helped me tremendously. I really needed to hear about "ceasarian births" and not feel like I had failed to give my baby the best possible birth experience.

Thank you mamas! I had been afraid to post at B&B, but finding this thread was a lifesaver.

Thanks for listening.
post #103 of 123
Hoping for a wonderful birth experience for you tomorrow CajunMama!

I wanted to share with you all, since I cannot share it anywhere else on here I have finally come to the decision to plan my c-section (6 weeks and 3 days from now). I had intended to go into labor, as I felt that was best for the baby (healthiest), then I started not being able to sleep at night, worrying about who would end up performing the c-section, my OB is only on one out of every 5 nights, so I could end up with someone I do not know at all. Her new partner is for lack of a better term - a complete moron- but I won't go into details on that, just trust me- MORON! And I thought I might just break down if I showed up in labor and found the new gal there

So, I talked it over with my OB, and she said, "OK, I've been behind you all the way with going into labor first, but now, I think it is time for you to schedule this delivery with me." She got out the calendar, and we planned it, I will be 39 weeks, and I am finally sleeping at night again. I know this is best for me and baby. I feel so relieved.

It is funny, b/c I really wanted to labor first, but now, I know how much better I will feel, having my OB there, having time for the anesthesia to take effect properly, knowing my children are with my parents and happy, etc. Such a huge load off of my mind.

Of course, all that said, I am still secretly dreaming that I will end up having a super fast labor where I deliver the baby at home, into the hands of my wonderful paramedic husband, but, that is just a dream
post #104 of 123
Wow, Patty, that's great. I really hear where you're coming from.

I'm only ~19 wks, and I'd really like a VBAC. Part of me really feels like another C is going to happen (and no, I don't think it's me worrying or just being pessimistic... lot of it has to do with other problems I've had during this pg). I'm doing all I can to prepare for the VBAC, but yeah, you'd better be sure that I'm going to be ready for a C, too. I can totally understand how nice it would be to have your back-up all scheduled and ready (am I right in understanding that if you go into labor before the C, you'll go with the VBAC?).

Anyway, congrats.

And Cajunmama, when you're ready to tell us about your birth, come back and let us know how it went!
post #105 of 123
I'm 32+ weeks and I just can't shake the feeling this baby will be breech and I'll have another c/b! I really want a vbac but baby who has been head down for 4+ weeks is now transverse and I'm afraid he will flip breech!

My chiro is very skilled with webster technique so I'm confident he could help...but I still have the fear...
post #106 of 123
Hey, is anyone else hurt and upset by the editorial in the most recent issue of Mothering? I live in Japan so it took awhile to get to me, just arrived yesterday.
I was devasted. I am an intelligent woman. I bloody well tried to have a vaginal birth. 34 hours of contractions with no drugs the first time!!
And I insisted on waiting for labor to start naturally the second time, even though the doctor offered to do an elective cesarian I
refused.
I set up all the best conditions for both of my babies. And I ended up having two cesarians .I am so angry now maybe I'd better wait a few more days before writing to the magazine.
post #107 of 123
I haven't read the article but it sounds bleck! I agree that you should wait to calm down a bit first.
post #108 of 123
Quote:
Originally posted by KKmama
am I right in understanding that if you go into labor before the C, you'll go with the VBAC?
Actually, I am not a VBAC candidate, I will be having a c-section either way- I just had thought it would be best to go into labor first (before having the section) so that I would know the baby was ready to come out, KWIM?

Edited b/c I violated the user agreement, not b/c I don't believe in what I wrote
post #109 of 123
edited out by missgrl
post #110 of 123
Obviously, this post was seen as inappropriate. My apologies to anyone I offended. I did not realize that we were not allowed to post personal opinions about statements made off the boards. My passion about defending mothers, including myself, who need cesarean for a safe birth remains.

Karen
post #111 of 123
I am editing my posts too. I was upset and am waiting to see what kind of response will come in the next issue of the magazine.
post #112 of 123
Thread Starter 
edited out by Missgrl. Ladylee, you have your PM turned off and left no access to email communication. Send me a PM if you have any questions.
post #113 of 123
Ladylee, I was tempted to cancel my subscription too. but I love the magazine on just about every other issue and I think it's important for cesarian Moms to stay and make ourselves heard.


I originally included a copy of the letter I sent to the magazine but have edited it out as it might violate the user agreement.
I'll wait to see if they choose to print it.
post #114 of 123
Edited to avoid offending anyone.
post #115 of 123
Post edited out to suit the powers that be. If you would like to read it, PM me.

Kim
post #116 of 123
Quote:
Originally posted by OnTheFence

Jess7396 -- It is so hard making these decisions!I know you did the right thing for you and your baby. I know that once my last cb was planned I was so at ease. Things went so smoothly and I felt so at peace. I hope this happens for you as well with your upcoming birth.
______________________________
The thing is, it just wasnt going to happen for me and its not going to happen for many of us and it has nothing to do with me being an American woman who doesnt believe in this -- this is an educated, American woman whose body cant birth vaginally and thank the gods that I live in a place where I can see a skilled physician to provide me with a csection to even have babies.

__________________________
PS Ladylee I was happy to see you drop in!
________________________________
ITA with the last 2 parts I quoted here, and thanks for the support for my scheduled delivery, I do feel so much better about all of it now, and I can sleep at night.

I wanted to expand on what you said about being glad to live in a place where you can have babies, I feel the same. I have said this before- God (nature, whatever you happen to believe in) does clearly not make everyone "perfect". If people can be born blind, crippled, etc. why is it so hard to believe that some women can be born and grow in such a way that they cannot birth their babies vaginally- or some babies could develop in such a way that a vaginal birth is not safest for them (spina bifida comes to mind)? Why do people think that it is just not possible? I do understand that way more women are "diagnosed" with these problems that those who actually have them, but.. some women do. If I were born in a different time or place, I would not likely be here today, and my babies most certainly would not be here. I have always kind of felt that there would be certain people out there who would think that I was clearly never meant to be a mother (by birth) since my pelvis is not made for vaginal birth. I disagree (of course), I think God put me in this time and place, and with skilled Dr.s, who could help me to have babies, and save all of our lives.

I wonder when people are so judgemental about c-births, how would they feel someday if their own daughter's life were in danger (severe pre-eclampsia comes to mind) or their grandchild could die w/o a c-birth (prolapse cord comes to mind), what would they think of c-birth then? And, why, oh why, can't they afford other women what they would afford their own daughters? My mother is very pro-natural birth, absolutely (although I don't think that ever made her extremely judgemental of other women: ), but when the OB said my dd was breech with a shoulder presentation, and that we could try to turn her, my mom's medical background and all said, "yes, that would be best", but her instincts (and mine) said, "I don't think we should". My dd's cord was wrapped tightly around her neck twice, and while many would find that no big deal, and would assume my OB a liar, my OB did the surgery and said that had she turned her, it would've been an emergency c-section- no doubt about it. My mom was so glad that she and I trusted our instincts (dh didn't have a clue poor thing, he was just scared )

I am all for people having strong opinions (I have quite a few myself), but I think that the people who are able to temper their opinions with common sense, and compassion are much more effective, and are able to get through to people so much better, and truly make a difference in the world

edited b/c I was naughty again.
post #117 of 123
edited out by missgrl
post #118 of 123
i think that some are really defensive over this topic for a couple reasons.

1. Women have spent sop long trying to get drs and such to listen to them that they feel having a cb is a threat to that. Which in some ways makes sense.

2. They have read too many books. Honestly how many books are there out there that say "You won't make a baby you can't birth" "c/b is the WORST thing you can do and 9 out of 10 times is unecessary and uneducation is what causes them."

I mean really. Sometimes is it a choice thing and sometimes not. Who was it that said if you hear/say something enough times no matter how absurd it becomes truth??

I have the CHOICE to vbac or not. I have chosen to do so. But my friend who has read the same info I have said no and is scheduling her c/b. We both know the same stats but we made different choices can that really happen!!

By request I have edited my posts but I still stand by what I said...sorry I forgot about the user agreement
post #119 of 123
Quote:
Originally posted by KKmama
I don't recall... when was the last time we were refused to have a cesarean subforum? (Were we actually given an answer by someone "up there"?) Is it time to ask again?
Someone asked about a forum 2 weeks ago "it is being discussed" This was brought up by a brand new member who said that she saw forums for everything else but not what she needed most.


I don't visit the vbac forum. I ASKED ABOUT WHY YOU CHOSE VBAC AND THEY ALL SAID "BECAUSE" UMMM, YEAH, GREAT ANSWER! So, i haven't found much helpful there even in the search stuff. (sorry about the caps!)
post #120 of 123
I have split this thread to form a new thread - Cesarean support circle V (December 12). So if you find your posts missing from this thread you can go to the new thread and continue your discussion there.

My reason for splitting the thread was to address some things said and the issue of a cesarean forum. It seemed best to do so at the appropriate point in the thread's discussion to avoid confusion.

I just today visited this thread to announce the plan to have a subforum for Cesarean birth and found this discussion about the editorial and the other thoughts raised and feelings about Mothering expressed.

When the request was first made for a cesarean board I did feel that it was not a subject of necessity and perhaps not one that Mothering need make special space for. We have made decisions like that for several other board requests and my decision was, at that point, that cesarean discussion can and should be hosted comfortably in existing boards and as part of that aim we reorganized the Pregnancy categories to place Birth and Beyond which is a more general title for hosting birth in general as opposed to the previous "I'm Pregnant" board. You can read my post about that here.

Our criteria in deciding on boards is usually pretty straightforward - start a thread of focus on the topic and let us observe the level of participation and the focus of the discussion. If, after a period of time (which is months, not days or weeks) the thread demonstrates a clear need for a board we will then consider a subforum or forum. Yet some are not so easy to decide on and that is when I bring Peggy into the decision process.

Following through with our criteria, and seeing the activity in the thread and subjects discussed I took the question to Peggy in November. Her response was to continue with our criteria - observe the discussion over a period of time so we can get a feel for the need and the focus of the discussion. Sometimes a focus thread is shown to be sufficient; sometimes a separate board becomes obvious. Sometimes neither.

So I let the issue rest as your discussions continued. In early December I reviewed the cesarean support discussion thread again and presented Peggy with excerpts of the thread so she could have a good idea of the discussion. She was impressed and concerned and decided that a forum would be a good idea to meet the needs of our cesarean birthing mamas. I have asked her for a board description so that the purpose of the board can be clear from the start. She has asked me to find a moderator who can appreciate the many concerns that exist and who can be not only supportive and helpful to mamas who have had or are facing necessary cesareans but also someone who knows the politics and who can address incorrect or incomplete information and help members make the best decision for their own situations.

That is a tall order for a moderator and something I have set aside for the moment as we sort through a few other board needs and prepare for our coming upgrade . I am also awaiting Peggy's board description which I will need in hand to discuss with anyone interested in moderating the board. So that is where we stand with this at the moment.

Having read Peggy's editorial and your posts I can appreciate your hurt feelings. But I would like to ask those of you who wrote about the behavior of members in PM and other references to member behavior on the boards in threads, derogatory remarks about Peggy and Mothering and calling for a boycott or cancelling of Mothering subscriptions to please edit your posts. The issue can be discussed and passionately so but let's please not resort to violations of the user agreement to do so.

I'm sure Peggy will receive plenty of mail about her editorial and will likely publish some of the letters. Also, we are discussing opening an area on the boards for member to post their letters so you will have another avenue to voice your feelings and opinions in response to the mag content, including editorials.

Peace and blessings,
~Cynthia
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