or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Archives › Pregnancy and Birth Archives › Due Date Clubs 2004 - 2008  › September 2008 › Posted on Homebirth board also: Calling all first time moms who want a homebirth.....
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Posted on Homebirth board also: Calling all first time moms who want a homebirth.....

post #1 of 31
Thread Starter 
Hi,

This is my first child and my husband and I are researching homebirths right now. We just had an interview last night with a midwife. I'm already 29 weeks so she wants me to make a decision within a week or less so now I'm getting a little anxious about it. I know I'd love to have one but I think I have a lot of fears that I'm dealing with. I'd like to hear some of your thoughts about homebirth,,,,,why you want one,,,,if you have any fears and how you're dealing with them, etc.

Thank you!!

April
post #2 of 31
hi,
i'm about a week ahead of you (due sept 13th), planning a homebirth with my first. my biggest fear is being transferred to the hospital. also, i worry about being separated from my baby if i hemorrage or something after the birth. i was a victim of sexual abuse when i was younger & my therapist and i talked about all my labor & birth options & i decided a homebirth would be the best choice...given "potential triggers" about male doctors and just the general helplessness factor of being in a hospital.
i'm really not worried about the pain. i know it's going to hurt, but it's a "useful" pain that is a means to my beautiful baby. i'm really excited for a homebirth. i firmly believe that going to the hospital is what sick/dying/injured people do, and my baby & i do not fall into those categories!
have you seen The Business of Being Born or read Ina Mae's Guide to Childbirth? both are excellent resources about homebirth.
good luck!
dawn
post #3 of 31
Thread Starter 
I agree with you about the pain though I still worry a little about it!

I have seen The Business of Being Born and wished so bad that I could have a birthing center birth or homebirth after watching it. I also ordered Ina Mae's book last week and I'm waiting to get it in the mail! I can't wait to get it.
post #4 of 31
Thread Starter 
Good luck to you also!! Thanks for your reply!
post #5 of 31
Read Ina May Gaskins books.. like, immediately. They are very good about reminding women that birth is a natural process, not one to be afraid of.

Also this http://www.homebirth.org.uk/firstbaby.htm website was very helpful to me as far as assuaging my (unfounded) fears.

My biggest concern with birth is *me*. As in, I dont want strangers interrupting me and making me uncomfortable, I dont want strangers telling me I cant eat, drink, walk, bathe etc, and I dont want strangers touching my baby or taking him away from me. Homebirth is the best way to ensure this.

by the way, i just noticed your sig, do you live in georgia, usa? me too :>
post #6 of 31
Hey, I'm more scared of a hospital birth than a home birth! Hospitals have always made me nervous... ever since I was a kid. And, i've ALWAYS been afraid of needles. I used to get so tense at my check ups as a kid because I knew they were going to stick me with a needle. And then of course they had to stick me in the muscle... so that just made the pain all that worse. As I grew older I was able to remind myself to keep my muscles relaxed before the appointment so it wouldn't hurt as much. lol. Anyhow, at first I chose a hospital birth because I thought that that was the only option with my insurance. I had looked a little bit into a home or birthing center birth and hadn't seen any options so I just gave up and signed up with an OB. Later on while reading other people's stories on this site I realized that I might be able to have a home birth after all. So I did a lot more research on my insurance and found two midwives in my area that worked with my insurance. After a little slightly complicated switcheroo with my insurance (had to drop an HMO and switch to my main insurance) I was able to get one of the midwives. So now i'm seeing her instead. My home birth is going to be in a birthing tub that I will rent. The company i'm renting from sets up and takes down the birthing tub for no extra charge, and they're a 24 hour call service. The charge is $249, which might seem high for a rental, but it's probably because they do factor in the set up and take down that most services do not provide. I'm so looking forward to being able to relax in my own home with my own stuff and just lay around and do whatever I feel like doing. I could watch a movie to distract me... I could chatter with my family and friends (i'm inviting a bunch of people over to hang out with me while I labor), I could lay down... I could walk around... whatever. I could even surf the web! lol. I'll probably be here on MDC updating you all when i'm in labor. hehe. At least until it becomes too painful... then i'll have a friend do it.

I'm actually not nervous about the birth at all. I think I was more nervous about giving birth in a hospital, but now that I know I won't have to go anywhere near a hospital... I feel so much more relaxed! No one is going to poke me with needles! That alone makes me happy. lol.

Oh, and if you'd like to gain a nice healthy fear of birthing in a hospital, watch "the business of being born" you'll never consider a hospital birth ever again. lol. Too dang scary! *shudders*
post #7 of 31
My only concern is that my mother isn't very supportive about it and I don't want her screwing things up for me. Just remember your body was made to do this.
post #8 of 31
Yep, I'm a first-timer planning a homebirth. I have done/am doing everything I can to ensure a great birth experience, and then I will have to leave it up to the fates to see what happens!

I want a homebirth because I know it's the best situation for the birth that I want. This birth will be an experience I will remember for the rest of my life, and I deserve to have a positive experience with my DH and our chosen caregivers supporting me.

I worry a bit about having to transfer to the hospital and then being treated kind of crummy by personnel who are not so fond of homebirth.

Y'know, Hypnobabies has a fear release CD that is really great--what kind of childbirth education are you planning on, if any? I have done the fear release 3 times now and most of my fears don't have much power over me anymore. I guess I also feel pretty confident and positive about my pregnancy in general, which helps allay a lot of fears.
post #9 of 31
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by aurora_skys View Post
Read Ina May Gaskins books.. like, immediately. They are very good about reminding women that birth is a natural process, not one to be afraid of.

Also this http://www.homebirth.org.uk/firstbaby.htm website was very helpful to me as far as assuaging my (unfounded) fears.

My biggest concern with birth is *me*. As in, I dont want strangers interrupting me and making me uncomfortable, I dont want strangers telling me I cant eat, drink, walk, bathe etc, and I dont want strangers touching my baby or taking him away from me. Homebirth is the best way to ensure this.

by the way, i just noticed your sig, do you live in georgia, usa? me too :>
Yes, I'm in Griffin GA! What about you? I can't wait to get Ina May's Guide to Childbirth. I'm impatiently waiting on it to arrive! I'll check that site out too! Thanks!
post #10 of 31
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by funfunkyfantastic View Post
Hey, I'm more scared of a hospital birth than a home birth! Hospitals have always made me nervous... ever since I was a kid. And, i've ALWAYS been afraid of needles. I used to get so tense at my check ups as a kid because I knew they were going to stick me with a needle. And then of course they had to stick me in the muscle... so that just made the pain all that worse. As I grew older I was able to remind myself to keep my muscles relaxed before the appointment so it wouldn't hurt as much. lol. Anyhow, at first I chose a hospital birth because I thought that that was the only option with my insurance. I had looked a little bit into a home or birthing center birth and hadn't seen any options so I just gave up and signed up with an OB. Later on while reading other people's stories on this site I realized that I might be able to have a home birth after all. So I did a lot more research on my insurance and found two midwives in my area that worked with my insurance. After a little slightly complicated switcheroo with my insurance (had to drop an HMO and switch to my main insurance) I was able to get one of the midwives. So now i'm seeing her instead. My home birth is going to be in a birthing tub that I will rent. The company i'm renting from sets up and takes down the birthing tub for no extra charge, and they're a 24 hour call service. The charge is $249, which might seem high for a rental, but it's probably because they do factor in the set up and take down that most services do not provide. I'm so looking forward to being able to relax in my own home with my own stuff and just lay around and do whatever I feel like doing. I could watch a movie to distract me... I could chatter with my family and friends (i'm inviting a bunch of people over to hang out with me while I labor), I could lay down... I could walk around... whatever. I could even surf the web! lol. I'll probably be here on MDC updating you all when i'm in labor. hehe. At least until it becomes too painful... then i'll have a friend do it.

I'm actually not nervous about the birth at all. I think I was more nervous about giving birth in a hospital, but now that I know I won't have to go anywhere near a hospital... I feel so much more relaxed! No one is going to poke me with needles! That alone makes me happy. lol.

Oh, and if you'd like to gain a nice healthy fear of birthing in a hospital, watch "the business of being born" you'll never consider a hospital birth ever again. lol. Too dang scary! *shudders*
I have watched The Business of Being Born. I thought it was great. I actually watched it when I first got pregnant so maybe I need to get it again!

Congrats on making your homebirth possible!! Good luck!
post #11 of 31
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alcyone View Post
My only concern is that my mother isn't very supportive about it and I don't want her screwing things up for me. Just remember your body was made to do this.
I don't think my mom will be very supportive either. She was already laughing and saying I couldn't do it without an epi. I did tell her this week that we're 'considering' a homebirth and she just asked all of the what if's and said she wasn't trying to be negative. We'll see!!
post #12 of 31
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by VeganCupcake View Post
Yep, I'm a first-timer planning a homebirth. I have done/am doing everything I can to ensure a great birth experience, and then I will have to leave it up to the fates to see what happens!

I want a homebirth because I know it's the best situation for the birth that I want. This birth will be an experience I will remember for the rest of my life, and I deserve to have a positive experience with my DH and our chosen caregivers supporting me.

I worry a bit about having to transfer to the hospital and then being treated kind of crummy by personnel who are not so fond of homebirth.

Y'know, Hypnobabies has a fear release CD that is really great--what kind of childbirth education are you planning on, if any? I have done the fear release 3 times now and most of my fears don't have much power over me anymore. I guess I also feel pretty confident and positive about my pregnancy in general, which helps allay a lot of fears.
I have been working with hypnobabies. I actually need to get better though because I haven't been listening to the cd's. Did the one you're talking about come with the self study package?
post #13 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by gagirl2008 View Post
I have been working with hypnobabies. I actually need to get better though because I haven't been listening to the cd's. Did the one you're talking about come with the self study package?
We took a live class, so I can't be sure, but I would assume so, since it was part of the original set of CDs our teacher gave us on the first day. Mine is on the same CD as Deepening, and it's actually called Fear Release. We were only assigned to start listening to it once we had finished the 6 week series of classes.
post #14 of 31
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by VeganCupcake View Post
We took a live class, so I can't be sure, but I would assume so, since it was part of the original set of CDs our teacher gave us on the first day. Mine is on the same CD as Deepening, and it's actually called Fear Release. We were only assigned to start listening to it once we had finished the 6 week series of classes.
Oh ok! That sounds familiar now! I stopped listening to mine because my ipod ear pieces were killing me but I'll start back now that I have the soft ear pieces now. I was just on my second week.

How do you like the program?
post #15 of 31
I really like Hypnobabies. Very relaxing and some of the scripts are, well, how can I explain? Some of the scripts are very touching and special to me. I've had some neat experiences with my baby while doing to scripts, like conversations with baby. Yep, I'm nuts but I'm having a great experience.
post #16 of 31
this is my first pregnancy and we are planning a homebirth. I grew up around homebirth, so there was never a question for me that this is what I would be most comfortable with.

after attending births as a doula in hospitals, birth centers, and homes, my decision was more solidified than ever! the vibe at homebirths is almost universally loving, peaceful, joyous, natural and respectful of birth, baby and family. it's possible to have all that out of the home too, but it can be a real struggle to achieve and in my experience is very rare in hospitals.

my biggest fear is needing to transfer to the hospital. if I need hospital care for some reason, I'll of course be very grateful to have it available, but I know that would be a scary experience.
post #17 of 31
Quote:
Originally Posted by lcaitlin View Post
my biggest fear is needing to transfer to the hospital. if I need hospital care for some reason, I'll of course be very grateful to have it available, but I know that would be a scary experience.
Same here. Everyone keeps telling me not to worry about it, and that I probably won't have to go to the hospital... but i'm so nervous that i'm going to be forced to go to the hospital. Hospitals scare me...
post #18 of 31
This is my first birth as well and we're planning a home birth I've always wanted a natural birth, ever since I can remember. I just always figured if I was going to birth a child I wanted to feel it, to experience it, to remember it...otherwise why bother? But that's just me. The more I've learned about birth in the USA the more convinced I am that I want to have a homebirth.

Quote:
Originally Posted by lcaitlin View Post

my biggest fear is needing to transfer to the hospital. if I need hospital care for some reason, I'll of course be very grateful to have it available, but I know that would be a scary experience.

That is also my biggest fear. I soooooo don't want to go to the hospital. I hate not being in control and I don't want to have to fight for what I want during what should be one of the most beautiful experiences of my life.

Wishing everyone wonderful, healthy pregnancy and labor (when the time comes!) vibes.
post #19 of 31
Hi, great to see that there are some other 1st timers in September who want to avoid the hospital.
You can count me in.

I can very much recommend 1st time homebirthers to order and study the 'Labor progress handbook' as well as optimal foetal positioning OFP techniques and being aware of position of the baby especially in the last weeks, study spinningbabies.com and learn about how a bad position can cause a difficult labor.

The most common reason for 1st timers to transfer is a long, hard labor, often caused by bad position of the baby like posterior positions.

If we can avoid this, the chances of being able to stay at home are going to look much much better. All the other what-ifs are then very unlikely if you are healthy and have been eating well.
post #20 of 31
Yeah, i'm hoping she'll know to get in the right position, but I can definitely tell when she's in the wrong one.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: September 2008
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Archives › Pregnancy and Birth Archives › Due Date Clubs 2004 - 2008  › September 2008 › Posted on Homebirth board also: Calling all first time moms who want a homebirth.....