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Do you pack lunches/wash uniforms/or otherwise help DP get ready for the work day? - Page 2

post #21 of 194
DH prefers to do all that himself. Not that he would fight me if I decided to take on ironing his uniforms, but I firmly resolved never to iron anything again ever after leaving the military and I pretty much stick to that.

I like to pack his lunch and make his meals, but he prefers to do it himself based on what he has a taste for (plus no one trying to force him to eat vegetables or try a new recipe that might be disastrous).

What I really should be doing to make his life easier is cleaning the house consistently but I do hate cleaning. I put his laundry away for him at least... Oh yeah and I watch our son literally 24-7.
post #22 of 194
In the early days of marriage, back when I was a loving newlywed, I packed DH's lunches for work once in a while. I thought it would be a nice gesture. However, he and I have very different tastes and styles of eating. So, the idea of sharing food or meals quickly fizzled.

Now I don't think I'd have the time...something else would have to give, and more than likely it would be something that I get to do for myself because I would feel kind of silly giving up something I do for our child to do something for DH.

I figure DH is a grown up and figure this one out on his own.
post #23 of 194
I ask DH of he needs work clothes when I do laundry and need a few more shirts or whatever to fill the load. I don't pack his lunch b/c 1. he's a grown man and 2. his idea of lunch and my idea of lunch are not the same.
post #24 of 194
DH doesn't eat lunch. I think I'd pack a lunch for him if he'd eat it because I know he'd appreciate it. I'd be less enthusiastic about it if he thought it was my job, though, I'd probably just not do it.

When he throws his laundry in the basket I do it for him, but he usually saves it and does his own load. I don't think he wants me or DS touching his dirty clothes because they have yuckiness (he's a plumber) all over them. I fold all his clothes for him, though.

I help DH get ready for the work day by gladly allowing him to go to bed early and putting DS to bed by myself. He helps me get ready for my day by giving me lots of downtime in between dinner and bedtime!!
post #25 of 194
DH works an evening shift and I happily pack his dinner every day. I actually love to cook and he loves my food so it's a pleasure (and a challenge). I make sure to pack him a nutritious meal everyday along side a fruit and some kind of veggie. He actually very very rarely eats food that I haven't cooked and he will only have a repeat of a meal once (so he gets something new to eat every other day). Basically, what he takes for dinner is what we're (the kids and I) having for dinner that night anyway so it's not really like I go out of my way to make him dinner. I also make us breakfast every morning, do most of the laundry and folding, and most of the daily housekeeping (he does the bathroom and mops floors once a week). It's not a requirement on my part but I enjoy it and it makes our house function smoothly.
post #26 of 194
When I SAH, I made sure the laundry was done so DH had something nice to wear. I also made sure there were snacks for him to take to work. He eats with his coworkers at work (sort of an unofficial requirement) and they have a cafeteria at his work that isn't bad and is cheap so I didn't pack lunches.

Now that I WOH, I still make sure the laundry is done so he has his work clothes, and I make sure he has his snacks, but he makes me a lunch every day.
post #27 of 194
i wash uniforms and pack lunches. i most all of the laundry anyway, so it just makes sense. lunches are leftovers, and really, whoever cleans up after dinner packs the food up.
post #28 of 194
Originally Posted by SAHDS View Post
HA HA, I tried to clarify when I said "patrol car", but I guess I should have been clearer. Authentic_Mother got it right - he's a :cop:
Nope, I just skipped right over that part

My ex is a cop. He used to be a street cop, now he's undercover narcotics. Scary. And yes, very scary the stuff they come in contact with. Yikes.
post #29 of 194
Dh is a university professor and dresses like his students, so I don't iron, but do wash his T-shirts and jeans - I do all the laundry. I also happily and lovingly pack his lunches for him. He also does it himself, it just depends on who gets to it first.
post #30 of 194
Nope. I'm his wife, not his mother. He's a grown man, not a child.

Now, if he calls up and says he needs something washed, like clothes for soccer that night, I'm happy to help him out. But it also works in reverse. There are plenty of times I forget to do something ahead of time, or that I need him to stop at the store for something on his way home from work. So, we help eachother out with things, and show appreciation when the other does something nice.

But, it's not expected that I do everything for him on a regular basis, kwim?
post #31 of 194
Originally Posted by SAHDS View Post

As for the subservient issue, it definitely goes both ways. DH does tons of things for me too :
Just to clarify, I don't think I'm subservient, I think I'm doing my DF a favour because I love him and it truly bugs the heck out of him making his own lunch. He feels like work is cutting into his family time when he makes his own. I generally do it while he plays with the baby. :

As for what I make, generally a sandwich or two, some veggie sticks and hummus or peanut butter to dip. I also include a note sometimes telling him how much I love him. (This is my favourite part.)

I also do all the laundry, but DF doesn't wear a uniform (he's construction framer) just the same dirty clothes. So no ironing.
post #32 of 194
Yep. Well, I don't iron, since he wears scrubs. But I get up early with him, pack him a fresh lunch, and kiss him goodbye. Also make sure he has enough clean clothes.

I love him, I appreciate him going to work day in and day out at a job he doesn't love, and that is one of the ways I show my appreciation.

Could he do it himself? Sure. He was single til he was 28 and took care of himself just fine. I do it because I love him and love being a blessing to him.
post #33 of 194
Before dd, I packed us both lunches every day. After dd arrived, I just don't have time generally to do it in the morning, but he takes something frozen anyway. Or skips lunch, he works a lot of hours and generally works through lunch. I do make sure we have food here for him to take - those individual soups, Special K bars, frozen meals, etc. Also he takes oatmeal and other hot cereal packets and just keeps them in his office so if he needs something, it's there. I'm trying to get him to take a bunch of bananas a the beginning of the week as well, but he holds a lot of meetings in his office and doesn't want it smelling like fruit, should it get over ripe.

I do all the laundry here and bring his suits to the cleaners as well. I do not iron, which he is glad of - I am terrible at it and usually ask him to iron for me or dd if we have something that needs to be pressed.
post #34 of 194
Originally Posted by Authentic_Mother View Post
Haha, Iron? I thought that is what "Tumble Dry" was for on the dryer....:
: I used to say I do it because he ws hardworking and my "job" was at home. But now I have to work evenings as well, and I guess I do it out of love. If he does need a lunch, he usually does that at night so he can put what he wants in there. Breakfast, usually dont see him often in the morning since I dont get up til DD2 is awake so I dont wake her getting up.
post #35 of 194
I pack Dh's lunch for him. He works alot and I like making sure he has something good and healthy to eat.
I do all the laundry, his mine and the kids. He probably could do a couple of loads of his own clothes, but I don't see the point. I'm doing laundry anyway, might as well do his too. Besides when he isn't at work or the firehall, he is usually playing with the kids or working around the house.
post #36 of 194
I pack his lunch every day. When I first started doing it, he was surprised and really happy. Now he is just happy : I see it as something sweet that I can do for him in the am since I am an early bird and he is someone who would happily sleep till noon if not for having to go to work.

Usually his lunch consists of a sandwich (tuna, ham, turkey, or egg salad), some kind of chips, a pickle, dessert (cake, brownie, pudding etc), and cottage cheese with fruit on top. : I put in all in a lunch box with a cold pack so he doesn't have to put it in the work fridge.

Washing/drying/ironing are all things I don't mind doing and things that I can do during the day so that we have more time together at night.

These things don't scream subservience to me. I do these things out of love, and he also does things for me out of love (like going to work and financially supporting us!). We support each other in different ways.
post #37 of 194
Well, I do most of the laundry though if I'm behind DH will step in a do it. Ironing is all on him. If he wants it ironed he'll do it himself.

Dh makes breakfast for the whole family every morning.

If it is a work from home day he'll make lunch for the whole family as well - unless he's really tied up, then I do it.

On the days he goes into the office he usually either takes leftovers (from the dinner he cooked the night before) or he'll make himself a sandwhich. He usually makes ME a sandwhich at the same time.
post #38 of 194
I do pack DH's lunches... he will only go to Taco Bell if I don't, lol. I have days when I feel like it's a duty rather than an act of love, but most days I am happy to do it. He's great about making dinner most days when I'm tired from the new baby, so it evens out.

I usually pack the same thing every day, something DH apparently likes: PB&J sandwiches (I can make 20 of these at once, freeze them, and just pop them into his lunch bag for a few weeks) with some fruit, chips and a drink. I used to add things like granola bars, cheese strips or yogurt, but he said it was too much food. And I don't pack much else because DH hates bringing home tupperware... most sit in the car until they mold & need to be tossed, lol.

I do all the laundry, so it's no problem to wash whatever he needs to wear. I don't iron here though either. Yay for tumble-dry!
post #39 of 194
I often pack him a lunch, and more often than that have to help him search for his wallet/keys/cell phone. But otherwise he's on his own.
post #40 of 194
Shortly after I posted on this thread today, my DH called to say he loved me and thank you for packing him some homemade banana bread. He appreciated that I made the effort and even put some butter on it. I think this is part of the reason why I don't mind doing these things for him. He appreciates it and tells me so
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