Wow, people are N A S T Y (vent)

[barose]

[Caution: upsetting:]

Last month, Common Ground magazine did a (print) article on babies: infertility/fertility, pregnancy, raising children, etc. It’s a socially conscious, green magazine so the articles focused on holistic, natural, mind/body, etc methods to overcome infertility, being pregnant and raising children.

This month, there were letters from readers on the previous months article and I am astonished as to how absolutely nasty people can be when it comes to fertility, infertility, having children, etc in the name of ZPG. One woman who is obviously happily child free implied that infertility is Mother Nature’s way of controlling the population, someone else was angry at the writers/editors of the magazine for even publishing such an article in a “socially conscious” magazine. The implication is if you care about the planet, you simply won’t and shouldn’t have kids.

Where the h#11 do people get off?? This makes me afraid of opening up to anyone about infertility and the struggles and pain that comes with it. This isn’t the first time I have seen and read things like this, but I wonder if it’s getting worse.

Though I get the print magazine, I just found the letters in response to the article here.

[Angi]

Wow. That is umm... well.. jeez. I just don't know what to say. I have a friend who has decided not to have children. Her and her husband just don't want any. Why? No clue. It was their decision. But does she blast away at those that do decide to have children. Absolutely not! She is actually amazing with kids. She just doesn't want any of her own.
Zero Population Grown (ZPG) isn't about "not breeding" as the writer so inelegantly put it, but about maintaining balance between the birth and death rates. And yes, there are many children in the world that need permanent homes. And more power to those that are able and willing to provide them. I've considered adoption, and it may be something I look at again. Or even fostering.
But wow. Those people are mean.

[soulshine]

'veg news' recently had the same type of focus, and there were comments about the selfishness of people choosing to have children in this state of our planet.

i had the same reaction you did.

in my opinion, i feel that someone's desire to have a child, or not to, is beyond judgement. it is personal choice. who is to say who can and can't, should and shouldn't, have children?? jerks.

the comments about IF being nature's way of population control, that is simply ignorant blather. so stupid that it isn't even worth wasting one blip of consideration.

unless you have gone thru even the smallest dose of IF, you would never understand any of it. simplifying things in statements like 'if you are infertile, you should adopt or foster, and if you choose not to you are selfish', i mean, its ridiculous. are these same people going to tell someone with terminal cancer that they should just jump off a cliff so they will stop using precious resources? to me, this is the same line of thinking. up on a high horse, so 'open-minded' that they are actually very closed minded.

and, i personally believe that many of the problems that are coming from population growth could be solved, or at least relieved, with better managemnet of the resources we already have.

look, if someone feels that the planet's issues can be solved by choosing not to reproduce, well, so be it. don't bear children, then! but you cannot tell people how to live their lives. a well-informed, educated, mindful, sensitive person can 'reproduce' in a very environmentally friendly way.

[Seedlings]

I don't even know how to respond to the ignorance of those that responded to that article. Those responses were not open to any other opinions or infertility experiences. Pretty ignorant on the responders behalf. But Common Ground and it's readers does not seem like the supporter/podium for people going thru infertility. So I take it with a grain of salt.

I believe in holistic pratices, greener living, less carbon footprint and natual living. But am I 100% of those philosophy? No. I try to make the best choice possible.

To me it is important to blend "western medicine" and "eastern medicine". I am not an extremist. I have strong thoughts about things but know I can not shut out the view point of others. Those pov help me to learn more.

Before I started ivf I saw a movie about the first sucessful ivf. It was a light bulb moment to me. I saw how the family was ostracized and put into hiding so no one would find them. At the time ivf was just something people could not understand let alone believe would actually happen (just something completely abstract to them). So now I hear from so many that the knowledge is here for ivf and people are much more understanding of it all. I think many people struggling with infertility 15-30 years ago would of loved to of had this medical knowledge.

[VegAmanda]

I can't say I'm shocked or offended. Many of my IRL friends share those views. I do personally believe in ZPG, but as a PP said, that really isn't about not having any children.

The thing is, most of the friends I have who denounce 'breeding' are happy and satisfied living child-free. These aren't people who long to have children but choose not to out of some altruistic desire to save the planet's resources. They aren't adopting or fostering, because they just don't want children. They don't get my desire to have another one, just as I can't fathom being childless. It's easy to take a strong stand against something you have no desire to do.

On the other hand, I do know one young couple who want children and are choosing adoption first instead of biologically reproducing. I think it's a very noble thing to do, but I do wonder if they'll keep that commitment once they see all the hoops they'll have to jump through to adopt.

[Dena]

Originally Posted by soulshine

'veg news' recently had the same type of focus, and there were comments about the selfishness of people choosing to have children in this state of our planet.

i had the same reaction you did.

in my opinion, i feel that someone's desire to have a child, or not to, is beyond judgement. it is personal choice. who is to say who can and can't, should and shouldn't, have children?? jerks.

the comments about IF being nature's way of population control, that is simply ignorant blather. so stupid that it isn't even worth wasting one blip of consideration.

unless you have gone thru even the smallest dose of IF, you would never understand any of it. simplifying things in statements like 'if you are infertile, you should adopt or foster, and if you choose not to you are selfish', i mean, its ridiculous. are these same people going to tell someone with terminal cancer that they should just jump off a cliff so they will stop using precious resources? to me, this is the same line of thinking. up on a high horse, so 'open-minded' that they are actually very closed minded.

and, i personally believe that many of the problems that are coming from population growth could be solved, or at least relieved, with better managemnet of the resources we already have.

look, if someone feels that the planet's issues can be solved by choosing not to reproduce, well, so be it. don't bear children, then! but you cannot tell people how to live their lives. a well-informed, educated, mindful, sensitive person can 'reproduce' in a very environmentally friendly way.

I do find it ironic that those who choose not to bear children are calling those of us who want them selfish, when just a few years ago, anyone who did not want kids were given this same label, according to some of my IRL friends who have decided they don't want children.