Sigh...midwife gave me an ultimatum. Strip membranes Friday or no homebirth

[Amila]

I posted about this before. My current midwife doesn't do homebirths, but was making an exception for me. She previously wanted to strip my membranes and give me Callophyllum (blue cohosh) to get me to have the baby over a weekend so it would be easy to say I had the baby at her office.

Then and there i decided to switch to a traditional midwife who came highly recommended to me from two friends. Problem is she can't *guarantee* to do my hb because she already has a lot of established patients due in July so she didn't want me to cut ties.

FF to my appt. today with the current midwives. They basically told me unless I start taking the herbs tomorrow and come in Friday morning to be stripped, they can't do the homebirth because they have 15 women left to give birth in July, the one midwife's mother is sick and she may have to leave town, and the other midwife won't do a homebirth. They were extremely pushy about all of this and want me to call them this afternoon with my decision :

OBVIOUSLY I am not going to go for it. i don't want to birth ANYWHERE with these women, but what if the other midwife can't attend me? I am pretty much left out in the cold. I just am not comfortable UCing- I know nothing about it.

I just want to cry.......and to top it all off I had timeable consistent (but not painful) contractions for 12 hours last night, and thought i was in early laborr only to have poof disappear.

[delicious]

omg. i am so so so sorry. that is the most awful thing ever to do to a pregnant woman. man.

i hope things work out of your somehow-maybe the other midwife will be able to show up? or possibly be phone support for you if you end up UCing? are there more hb midwives in your area you could call? good luck!

[aprilibarra]

that is really uncool! is there a midwife network in your area that you may be able to contact? i'm so sorry that you have to deal with this right now but it may be for the best, bc its really showing your current mw's true colors.
I can send you the guide to emergency childbirth if you want it, but i don't blame you for not wanting to uc. I would xpost at the birth professionals and see if anyone would do a phoneconsult or point you in the right direction. I'm sorry.

[Emily12581]

I personally would hope for the best with the 2nd midwives and if that doesn't work, I'd go to the hospital. #1 group of midwives seem WAY too pushy and kind of creep me out because of their pursuit of a weekend birth and insurance fraud.

[Tenk]

Originally Posted by Emily12581

I personally would hope for the best with the 2nd midwives and if that doesn't work, I'd go to the hospital. #1 group of midwives seem WAY too pushy and kind of creep me out because of their pursuit of a weekend birth and insurance fraud.

:

[goldingoddess]

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this right now.

I would try to go with the HB midwives and just trust that it will work out for you to get your homebirth! Also I would try and contact some more HB midwives, you may find someone who will travel quite a distance to attend your birth.

On another note, I would report your current provider to the licensing boards for a number of reasons, (I would of course wait until after the birth and babymoon)
1) She could do this to another women in the future.
2) She is not acting in your best interes by stripping your membranes and demanding you deliver on a weekend. She is looking for her best interest, which is technically not a standard of care.
3) It is health care providers like her that give homebirth a bad wrap. There is no reason to go outside of the regulations (by means of her standard of practice and insurance fraud) in a state where homebirth is legal. Any negative mention of homebirth gets 10 times the publicity than a positive mention. She is jeopardizing a lot more than just your birth. She is possibly jeopardizing the future chance of hospital practicing CNMs to legally add homebirth to their scope of practice and still be covered by mal-practice insurance!

[Spark]

Read your other thread first, so let me just focus on sending you labor vibes!!!

[prairieo]

I agree with other posters that it's just a crappy situation. On the one hand, OB's strip membranes early based on their convenience all the time...so if you look at it that way, it's almost the same as seeing an OB for a hospital birth. Also, taking Cohosh certainly isn't the same as getting a pit drip in your arm, along with a fetal monitor, etc etc. So, I would choose cohosh over a trip to the hospital any day. And while I think I would be creeped out by your midwife's attitude (I AM creeped out!), I would probably be more creeped out by a hospital birth. I mean, at least your midwife isn't going to stick you flat on a bed to a fetal monitor with a drip in your arm...and that makes a HUGE difference, at least it would to me.

I don't know much about stripping membranes, but it's different from breaking your water, right? So you can walk around for a while with your membranes stripped, right? And the cohosh will either work or not. Meanwhile, you still have a window open with the other midwives, and god help us, it could work out with them!

I really feel inclined to agree with the other posters, but facing a hospital birth with more interventions that feel even yukkier to me would really make me consider complying with her request, as much as I would not like it.

And I'm not sure I would report her, but after the birth I would write a long letter to her explaining my discomfort and dissatisfaction with her ethical standards, and ask her to consider not taking on homebirth clients if she is going to approach it that way. Sending a copy to the local midwives' association would be a good idea too, so that the midwifery community can deal with it. Once you send it off to the licensing board, a state entity, it seems to me that a can of worms is already being opened that is not favorable to homebirth midwives, and it doesn't sound like she is one, really.

I'm so sorry for this happening. I would be very unhappy too.

[mntnmom]

Ask your second midwife for someone you can call if she can't make it. In my experience area midwives know each other pretty well. One of my midwives' assistants was a certified midwife the next state over, but couldn't practice on her own yet. She was wonderful!

Try to relax. There are options. I hate that this is happening to you, especially so far along.

[lorelei]

I don't have anything to add really the OP's have given great ideas imho.

Just wanted to tell you I feel for you and am hoping things turn out ok.

[pazerific]

[mama to 2 girls]

I don't have any advice, just wanted to give you 's

[blessed_mama]

I Just wanted to say I'm sorry you're having to go thru this! I hope everything works out for you.