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survival/shelter ideas please

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
Hi,

Not sure if this belongs here... but I think it does because although I go into depth explaining my situation -- I am looking for advice on possibly living or camping off the grid.

I am a single divorced mom with 2.5 year old twins and am expecting three more in Feb. I have only revealed the fact that I am having trips to a few people so far so as to not draw undue attention....but I'm losing internet and probably phone too on the 26th so I really don't have anything to lose by asking for ideas...

We've been abandoned by the dad who is out of the country and most likely never leaving there... and I got fired about a month ago from my 4th job this year due to missing a few days due to sick children(doc notes didn't help my case -- zero tolerance). I'm just about no good for work now with this high risk pregnancy... my twins were born micro-preemies even with bedrest from week 18 on.

I'm wondering if anyone has any ideas for us. We have to be out of this apartment by the 31st because I'll have no money to pay the rent next month. My parents don't live far, but my mother told me today that I am not her child since I left home 9 years ago and that I should adopt my babies out to someone who has it together.

While I am in a crappy situation, I admit. I'm not what she accuses me of being. I could try to defend myself all day... but I am educated and speak 3 different languages, am a great cook, very capable and I love my children and would do anything for them etc. I know I am a decent person(as ALL people are IMO!) regardless of what my family says.

So, there is no assistance out there for us with getting a place to live, most likely due to hurricane katrina refugees or maybe just the fact that there are a TON of us poor people -- we have food stamps thank God so we don't worry about food. There *might* be a homeless shelter that could take us in for a short time.... other than that I am seriously considering finding an abandoned shack or building a fort in the middle of nowhere... I am not going to throw a pity party for myself ... I will make it through this one way or the other -- even if I have to give birth alone out in the woods somewhere... my babies are going to have their mother and we are all going to clasp hands and make it through this trial and come out good people in the end, rich in the things that count!.

All this said *any* suggestions would be helpful! I mean what do people in my situation do? thanks
post #2 of 12
Do you not qualify for government financial assistance &/or housing?

I wish you the best.
post #3 of 12
I don't know how feasible this is for you, or how much rural areas are around you. But, you may be able to find someone who owns land... doesn't want to sell, but wants someone around to take care of things. That's how we were able to move off grid. Maybe you could place a free ad for being willing to do this... I don't know. Have you thought about contacting Ina May Gaskin at the Farm? I don't know if they offer things like scholarships for birthing there, or if they take mamas with trips, but it's a thought. It would get you through the birth at least. I do hope the best for you in everything.
post #4 of 12
Sounds like living alone in a rural area is going to be very tough for you. If you were on bedrest from 18 wks. on with twins, you may face the same thing at some point with these babies. In that case you'll need help with your twins and also for yourself. I don't know where you are, but if I were in your shoes I would look to a church, synagog or other religious organization to see if there is help there. I would also suggest the social service department or OB social workers at a local hospital for help/resources-at the very least a family shelter. If you are getting food stamps, do you qualify for housing assistance?

A final thought...if your family knew about the triplets would they be more likely to help you out?

Also, I would post elsewhere on MDC for more help.
post #5 of 12
I'd definitely talk to the social services department in your area. I'd also move over the the find your tribe section and see if anyone in your area has more ideas. Friends? Other family members? Also, the dad owes child support wherever you live, and social services can give you assistance through welfare while he is tracked down. Good luck.
post #6 of 12
If you are in AZ as your profile states, maybe you can start to get some help through this agency: Bureau of Women's and Children's Health. Since you are in a high-risk preganacy you should not consider going it alone in the wilderness - please try to get help from this agency and/or others, that is what it is there for.

ETA: If you are in another state google: "help for pregnant women and children" along with the state name to find similar resources in other states.
post #7 of 12
I agree with the pp, if your twins were born early, you can pretty much garuntee your trips will to. Unless you had a ruptured placenta or something that isn't the issue this time. I would not go into the wilderness at all in any instance. At least not until your little ones are all here and stable.

Are you a member of a church? try your parish office. Or try Catholic Charities. You don't need to be Catholic to receive help from them.

ETA - apply for WIC!
post #8 of 12
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs mama}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}


You can post in FYT and F&F.... but you really do need help.


You can't have toddlers and be on bedrest and then have triplet premies i a shack somewhere. I think trying to birth trips alone is asking for trouble.... I hate to say this but if something were to happen to you while birthing your toddlers cant help and you could "worse case scenerio" lose 6 lives.

Also if CPS finds out you could lose your kids.

And with no address you cant redetermine for FS unless you lie about where you live.



So ask everyone in the world for help now before someone steps in and gives you no choice.



Plus that is too stressful for you to face alone! No mama should have to do that! YOU DESERVE BETTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I would call every social service number, every church (even if you are not that religion... Catholic Charities to start), google every shelter, call the battered womens hotlines for your area, etc... CALL and tell EVERYONE mama!


YOU deserve more and your kids deserve more! The stress of "roughing" it could very well send you to the hospital... then where would the twins go?



{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs and lucky vibes}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
post #9 of 12
Thread Starter 
Thanks for your suggestions. I really just want to compile ideas for survival in case it comes to being completely on the street. I have been told that the shelters here are all full. I'm in Louisiana so there are still a lot of refugees from hurricane Katrina. The dad is outside of the country so I don't believe there is any way to force him to help out unless he were to move to the states.

The housing office told me that they aren't accepting applications for another 5 years.

My mother hates me and would rather see me dead than be obligated to help.

While I *never* thought I'd wind up in this kind of situation... in a way it has opened my eyes. There is a serious problem with poverty here... I think back on when I was making a nice fat paycheck and thought everything was cool... and why didn't I help anyone out? What goes around comes around is right. I just don't want my kids to suffer in anyway.

Yeah, that's so nice about CPS... you can't get any help from family nor community so they steal your children away. lol I'd have better luck crossing over the border and begging for help from foreignors.

As it is, I believe I have found someone as of yesterday that will move in a place with me and pay enough of the bills that I should be able to scrape by. God is good. thank you for your kind words.
post #10 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by eastkygal View Post
I don't know how feasible this is for you, or how much rural areas are around you. But, you may be able to find someone who owns land... doesn't want to sell, but wants someone around to take care of things. That's how we were able to move off grid. Maybe you could place a free ad for being willing to do this... I don't know. Have you thought about contacting Ina May Gaskin at the Farm? I don't know if they offer things like scholarships for birthing there, or if they take mamas with trips, but it's a thought. It would get you through the birth at least. I do hope the best for you in everything.
Good ideas.

Also, I would suggest moving to a much more rural area in a different state. I haven't heard great things about social services down there. But I will recommend social services in more rural midwest places. There's usually not as bad waiting times, and people are much more neighborly with helping. Like, here I am afraid to reach out because of the crime. But where we are moving back to, I would be more than willing to help y'all out or even let you put up a yurt on my land and do whatever I could for you. You are going to need a lot of support that it doesn't sound like you're getting. I would contact the farm, or move somewhere better if that fails. It sounds great that you found someone to split rent. But are you sure of this person? Totally trustworthy? I know you have few choices, been there, but make sure you're living with someone who will help and you can trust. :bighug

If it comes down to a shack, you move up to Central IL and I'll see what I can do for you. I don't have money, but I can feed you and try to find some shelter for you.

Survival tips if you're homeless:

Don't be afraid to ask for help. There's no such thing as pride when you have little ones.
Learn to make a fire.
Use the library to hang out if it's rainy, cold, or too hot. Or a YMCA/YWCA.
Find good things at garage sales and resale shops: cast iron, warm blankets, sheets, BIG pots to wash clothes and use for sponge baths, tents and camping gear, etc.
Join a survival yahoo group like this http://groups.yahoo.com/group/misc_s...guid=229449665
post #11 of 12
I know you said the father is out of the country but what about his family? Do they know? You never know, they might become your best allies.
post #12 of 12
I would definetly try and get a hold of his family... also, I know you've said your mom won't help, but what about the rest of your family - aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc? Ditto for his. Any old family friends (on either side)? Exhaust ALL potential, theoretical options!
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