Is 13 too young to get a nose piercing? - Page 3

[cranberriesfor5]

I would just make sure it was something she wanted for HER and not to make her cooler, kwim?

I really do not know how I would feel about my son asking me at 13 if he could get a piercing.

[dziwozony]

i think you should help her get it done. take her to a GOOD piercing salon (preferably one that focuses just on body piercing)...one that doesn't use a gun & doesn't mind answering all of your questions.

i have a 13 (nearly 14) year old sister & just found out through her myspace page that she pierced her own lip- yikes! she then took it out almost immediately, which you should never do (traps potential infection, better to let it heal with jewelry in). so i'm telling her all these things & she knew none of them. i hope it doesn't get infected.

but when i was her age i wanted the same done with my belly button. tried to do it myself, but wimped out with the pain. i confessed to my parents what i was trying to do & when i was 15 they agreed to take me to do it. i think that was really cool of them!

[smillerhouse]

Yes, I think it is. I did let my dd,mnow 15 get multiple ear piercings and a navel piercing. They did not last long. Ithink self-expression is the key and there are a lot of other ways: she dyes her hair frequently, clothes, voice, sports,etc. Today, I tell her at age 18, I am not signing anymore releases. Also, I do not beleive young teens see the future. Piercings are not acceptable in mainstream academic,sports, and buisness realms. Basically now I say, you can get temporay tatoos, dye hair and channel energy in fun ways. Sallie

[Greenmama2AJ]

I voted yes.

A small nose peircing is one of the least obtrusive peircings, rarely rejects or scars.

I've seen eyebrown, nipple and bellybutton pericings rejected.

My own parents were pretty liberal and my alternative-loving (and completely geeky) sister was heavily peirced - 3 tongue rings (yes, 3!!), a nose ring, a labrette, naval ring and those huge expander earrings in highschool. It is legal for minors to get peirced here.
She is now 24 and her wild peircing days are long over. She took them all out when she "grew up" and the only ones that scarred were the wide earrings and belly ring.

Peircings aren't forever. I dont have a single peircing but I was much more rebellious in other ways. I wonder if allowing a little bit of controlled rebellion now is better than fighting a power struggle later, it worked for my parents.

[Individuation]

Originally Posted by anne1140

If you're applying to be a teacher, there is a high chance they will not hire you if you have a nose piercing. I am a teacher and used to have my nose pierced. I would like to do it again, but if I did, I'm sure I would get into trouble for it.

I was a teacher's aide in NYC for some time, and that would not seem to be true from what I experienced. Eyebrows and labrets and the like, yes. Small nose piercings, no. But again, it could easily be removed during working hours.

Off-topic, but I was told to cover my wrist tattoos while working in Bronx schools, and I was really surprised (not offended, just surprised). I was told that many of the parents in our district identified the tattoos I had (hand-done single-needle, on the wrists) with gangs, and that it might bother them. That made perfect sense to me, and I did long-sleeves, wide embroidered-ribbon bracelets, or tattoo makeup.

These things are not insurmountable.

[Individuation]

Originally Posted by Pancakes

There are more employers that will not hire someone with facial piercings than there are that will. I think by you being in NYC you might have a more lenient environment.

I'm also in one of the career centers of the world, so if it's fine with NYC employers I'm not going to cry into my beer that my child might not get hired at the Orange Julius in Terre Haute or something.

I mean, sure. Low-status and menial jobs (many of which I've had; I'm not making classist statements here, just being factual) do often dictate things about appearance; uniforms, hairstyle, etc. We'll all take our piercings out and wear the stupid smock if we're working at Walmart.

Somehow inferring from this that they are "unacceptable" is both strange and, I'd imagine, quite funny to the many middle-aged, conservative Indian women with nose piercings AND PhDs that I've run across.

Rather than worry about an innocuous piercing, why not raise your children with the skillset to enable them to write their own ticket? There seem to be some very low expectations on this thread.

[Marsupialmom]

If she just asked for it the first ime I would make her wait 6 mnths to think about it and to make sure it isn't a passing phase. A nose peircing I wouldn't give a flat out no wait until you are 18 to do. I would take in some concideration like how responcible the 13 year old is.

But I would also talk about how OTHER people will see it. Some jobs don't allow it. Teachers might look down on her. Reliatives, et.

I would make her find out risk and how to prevent infections (in other words care).

I would make to go to a professional piercer.

[Marsupialmom]

Originally Posted by Individuation

I'm also in one of the career centers of the world, so if it's fine with NYC employers I'm not going to cry into my beer that my child might not get hired at the Orange Julius in Terre Haute or something.

I mean, sure. Low-status and menial jobs (many of which I've had; I'm not making classist statements here, just being factual) do often dictate things about appearance; uniforms, hairstyle, etc. We'll all take our piercings out and wear the stupid smock if we're working at Walmart.

Somehow inferring from this that they are "unacceptable" is both strange and, I'd imagine, quite funny to the many middle-aged, conservative Indian women with nose piercings AND PhDs that I've run across.

Rather than worry about an innocuous piercing, why not raise your children with the skillset to enable them to write their own ticket? There seem to be some very low expectations on this thread.

I work in corporate America and I do see appearance being an issue. Not necessarily a dress code but people look and notice. Also there is a difference from an Indian woman having a noise piercing than a white/AA having one. There is a cultural/ethnic difference. There are many cultural/ethinic/religous differences that are accepted and overlooked but even at that there are certain standards that are expected.

One thing I have seen is young adults not understanding the dress code of Corporate America....and if you don't own the business you have to understand the dress/apperience expectations.

Company's wether it is low level hire or a $100,000 want their employees to project an image and if you are getting paid by them then that is part of your job.

Many jobs would not find the nose piercing acceptable unless their is an Indian/Asian ethnic background for it.

[Individuation]

]I work in corporate America and I do see appearance being an issue. Not necessarily a dress code but people look and notice. Also there is a difference from an Indian woman having a noise piercing than a white/AA having one. There is a cultural/ethnic difference. There are many cultural/ethinic/religous differences that are accepted and overlooked but even at that there are certain standards that are expected.

I think that that's true, but I also think that very few human resources people are going to open the can of worms needed to judge whether someone has a right to certain cultural expressions (I am thinking of a situation where a "white" employee was told only AA employees could have dreadlocks and...oops! Turns out she was a light-complected AA woman and boy was she pissed off! Add to that the fact that several white cultures and at least one African culture do practice nose piercing, and yeah... big potential for trouble. In today's America? Not seeing it.

One thing I have seen is young adults not understanding the dress code of Corporate America....and if you don't own the business you have to understand the dress/apperience expectations.

Absolutely. But here I think you are talking about something different. I am presuming in this case that the individual in question is a qualified, erudite, cultured person who understands appropriate dress and bearing and, perhaps, has a small piece of jewelry in the nose, rather than two in the ears. Personally, in that case, I think they look both dignified and stately. But yes yes yes, let's teach the children that they can't go to interview at a corporate law firm in flip-flops.

Company's wether it is low level hire or a $100,000 want their employees to project an image and if you are getting paid by them then that is part of your job.

Certainly. It seems to me you've only really seen nose piercings on Hot Topic kids, and therefore are basing your ideas of their "image" on a very narrow idea of what they look like.

Many jobs would not find the nose piercing acceptable unless their is an Indian/Asian ethnic background for it.

Again, I cannot imagine someone willingly wading into that particular deep water. My goodness. Will there be blood checks, too?

Sorry to be facetious, but I think that on MDC we sometimes talk theoretically about "cultural appropriation" and forget that in the real world it's not always easy to judge such things.

[Narn]

No. They are cute. They can also be taken out.

I don't see a nose piercing as any different than an ear piercing.

[barbara73069]

I think they look great

I don't have a problem with piercings at all, I think they look great. I don't think 13 is too young.

[fork]

Why does everyone keep bringing up the job issue? Piercings are REMOVEABLE. When she turns 16 and wants to work at the bookstore that won't allow it, she can take it out, or even use a retainer. When she's an adult and wants to be a CEO or a teacher or something, she can REMOVE it.

Some people act like she wants to get a tattoo on her face or something.

[GradysMom]

Cartilige peircing can actually come with serious infections for one thing. Secondly Personally I would insist on not allowing it to help dc understand how important it is to respect the body as it is made... for me this comes from "body as temple" thinking and is why I'm currently antivax and an intactivist.

I understand the freedom, indepence needs but I think nose peircing is a mature peircing, it has intellectual and alluring qualities but like heels on a two year old it doesn't suit a 13 yr old.

MHO

[ldsmom06]

We won't let dd even get her ears pierced until 13(at least) So no way on a nose ring that young IMO.

BTW: I have a nose ring and got it when I was in college along with 2 tattoos and a nipple and eyebrow piercing. I wear none of my piercings anymore. You can still see all my piercings even though I stoped wearing them 3+ years ago.

[chiromamma]

I had 13yo DD wait until she got her first period or Bat Mitzvah for ears. She got the period first. Now she wants her nose pierced...one of those teeney little gems. I think they are beautiful. We'll do it right after the Bat Mitzvah. We chose these times simply as a way to mark her entrance into adulthood both physically and in her community.
Lips...no way, eyebrows uh-uh. All the wierd ear stretching and stuff...nope. The small ear and nose piercings are easy enough to change your mind about, the other ones aren't. No tats while a minor either.

[Kirsten]

Originally Posted by ma_vie_en_rose

In our home, we have always made it clear that anything other than one hole in each ear is something they can decide at the age of 18 when they don't need parental permission to do it. That way there is nothing to negotiate.

Here too. They can rebel/show their maturity or individualism with clothing and hair and music and the like, but no piercings or tattoos until they are adults. It just isn't an option for us the way we feel currently. And the one hole in each ear/traditional ear piercing is allowed when they are 12.

Our dd1 just had hers done recently, and has had so many issues with most earrings that there have been tears and visits to the ped for help. She told me she is SO glad that I didn't let her get them pierced when she was younger, and at times has said she wishes she hadn't done them at all. I think she is happy with them now that we've found some more earrings she can wear.

Originally Posted by Individuation

Could you give me an example of a job that might not hire a qualified woman because she's chosen to wear unobtrusive, traditional jewelry?

Depending on where you live, nose rings aren't considered traditional jewelry. Although they aren't as alternative as they were 10 years ago, they are certainly not traditional where I live, and I consider this area fairly liberal.

Originally Posted by ldsmom06

You can still see all my piercings even though I stoped wearing them 3+ years ago.

Same here. I had my ears pierced when I was 12 or 13. I didn't wear earrings enough and they grew back. The holes showed for 5 years, though I couldn't get earrings through. In college, I had them repierced in the same spot. Same thing happened with not wearing earrings enough, and those holes showed for SEVENTEEN years until I just recently had them repierced (same spot - third time).

OP, in your original post you sound unsure. You are the parent; you don't need to convince your child. I think it is fair to give the reasons you are saying no, but no is no. She will be mad and/or disappointed, but will get over it.

Regardless, I wouldn't tie that decision to grades. And in my girls' school, at grade level is a C.

[Kathryn B]

I know very few adults who like the same things now that they did at 13. Unlike a hairstyle, tattoos or piercings are not easy to change when we grow out of them or the novelty wears off.

[Cherry Alive]

Originally Posted by GradysMom

Cartilige peircing can actually come with serious infections for one thing.

Not if they are done right. My sister had her ears pierced in the lobes by a doctor when she was about 10. He used a gun. The ear holes eventually stretched out—almost all the way through the ear. She has a nice scar left from it.

She later had her navel and the tops of her ears pierced (in the cartilage), because she can never wear regular earrings. It was all done by a professional piercer. While her navel does occasionally get infections, the tops of her ears never have had infections. She keeps her hair short and away from the holes. I suspect it may be even less of an issue for the nose as nothing would be touching the nose-ring (except the pierced skin).

[MusicianDad]

It depends. If she's mature enough to care for the piercing then I see no reason why a 13 yo can't have her nose done. Around here piercings aren't a big deal. Maybe it's just the area though... "You know your from Vancouver when your third grader goes to school with someone who has purple hair and a nose ring... and it's the teacher."

A nose piercing is pretty unobtrusive as some have said earlier. My good friend has a stud in her nose and last year someone she saw at least twice a week commented on it. Then asked when she got it. When she said 2000, he was surprised because he'd never noticed before and she never takes it out even for work.

Also mentioned above. Make sure you check out the place that does the piercings, no guns and following saftey proceedures. Some doctors might be willing to do it, but you can get piercing stores that follow the rules just as strictly. I was also told once that a place that doesn't use a topical anisthetic is best. If my dd asked for a piercing there are only a few I wouldn't agree too and I all ready know where we'd take her.

Red, my friend developed a small infection a few weeks after she got her nose piercing, but it was easy to clear up with regular cleaning and soaking in hot water.

[mommyto3girls]

Originally Posted by anne1140

If you're applying to be a teacher, there is a high chance they will not hire you if you have a nose piercing. I am a teacher and used to have my nose pierced. I would like to do it again, but if I did, I'm sure I would get into trouble for it.

In trouble for it even though you are already hired? Wow, i teach and I can see how it could affect your being hired (lots of applicants so they are going to weed people by whatever they can) but to get in trouble for it when you already work there?