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Miss Conduct in Boston Globe Magazine  

post #1 of 67
Thread Starter 
update: Sorry I referred to her as Miss Manners. She is Miss Conduct!!


Did any MA mommies see this in the Globe this morning? Miss Conduct writes a weekly advice column.....

Here was the question:

July 13, 2008
A co-worker recently returned from maternity leave, and upon opening our office refrigerator today to grab my yogurt, I came face to face with a bottle of what appears to be breast milk, labeled with this woman's name. Although I breast-fed my children and am an ardent supporter of it, I always took pains to be discreet about it at work. If I pumped milk in the office, I stored it in a paper bag or small cooler so others wouldn't see it. What is your take on this? Should we all be exposed to her daily output of breast milk every time we venture to the fridge?


And Miss Conduct's Answer:

Your co-worker's behavior is seriously inappropriate, and I hope it can be attributed to the emotional upheaval of having to leave her baby and to the million-and-one things she must be trying to keep track of right now. One does not store bodily fluids - even sacred, precious, life-sustaining bodily fluids - in containers where others might see. Reasonable discretion and unreasonable body shame are not the same thing. Look, you're uncomfortable about this, and you're a breast-feeding veteran; imagine how childless colleagues, male and female, would feel. Worse yet, imagine a colleague both childless and clueless piping up at the morning staff meeting, "Hey, Sue, I ran out of half-and-half. Hope you don't mind I used some of your soy milk!" This must not be allowed to happen under any circumstances. I think you should address the matter with her, since you have lactation cred yourself, and she won't think you're a child- or body-hater. Explain to her how you handled the situation for yourself, and why.

Here is the original link in case anyone wants to respond to her:

http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/ma...k_shouldnt_go/


Gina
post #2 of 67
I bet there are other bodily fluids in ther fridge. How about cows breastmilk? Amazing, and utterly annoying that people can even think that way. BreasMILK is MILK not pee or poop or blood or vomit, it is MILK, Milk goes in the fridge.
post #3 of 67
Oh yuck.

It was labelled with the woman's name! That alone should be enough to eliminate any problems!!!
post #4 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by pjsmom30 View Post
One does not store bodily fluids - even sacred, precious, life-sustaining bodily fluids - in containers where others might see.

I don't agree with this at all....but...I will say, practically, keeping your milk in an insulated cooler or bag w/a square bottom IN the fridge makes sense for a variety of reasons (none of which are so no one else has to see your breastmilk). I've yet to find a storage bottle that when accidentally tips doesn't leak. I have no idea, but they all seem to leak a bit when tipped. I can't stand wasted breastmilk....so I keep mine in a little cooler in the fridge so it doesn't get tipped.
post #5 of 67
why would seeing a bottle with milk in it bother anyone? I don't get why you would be upset? Someone is going to drink that....why does it matter if i gaze upon it. That is sooooo weird!
post #6 of 67
I sent her a message asking why cow's breastmilk is allowed in the fridge.


I don't understand why its gross to have human breastmilk in the fridge....

I think its gross that the fridge at work is stocked with soda
post #7 of 67
Wow, I am really offended that she responded like that. In a major newspaper no less. How awful to make a pumping mother think her milk is disgusting.
post #8 of 67
I think Miss Manners lost her manners.
post #9 of 67
I am usually in complete accord with Miss Manners. This surprises me.
post #10 of 67
Thread Starter 

Miss Conduct, not Miss Manners

Sorry to all of you....

She is Miss Conduct, not Miss Manners!!

Ooops!
post #11 of 67
I sent her the following

Quote:
How on earth is looking at a container of milk offensive (breast or udder)???? Last time I checked cow milk comes out of a cows body, so that would make it a BODILY FLUID. For the record the CDC does not consider breast milk a "bodily fluid".

So what this woman has "lactaional cred" viewing milk in a container is not harmful to any one. If this woman is offended she needs to look at her own sensitivity and why she would be offended by such a trivial matter.

a lactating mother of 3
post #12 of 67
Goodness forbid that some innocent soul is forced to see a labeled container of pumped breastmilk... The HORROR of such a thought chills me to the bone! :

WTF is wrong with some people? They can't just take their yogurt out of the shared fridge without commenting on other people's stuff? And complaining about it to a syndicated columnist, no less...

Good thing the container was labeled, or somebody might have had a surprise her coffee...
post #13 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by pjsmom30 View Post
Sorry to all of you....

She is Miss Conduct, not Miss Manners!!

Ooops!
Oh, I am so glad to hear that. I was sure that Judith Martin would have told the co-worker to mind her own business. Wittily.
post #14 of 67
Ewwwwwwwwwww milk from BOOBIES!

Boobies = to sell cars ONLY.
post #15 of 67
Can we write to the real Miss Manners to see what advice she would give to all of her fellow columnists who seem to be giving out such crappy advice re: all things nursing?
post #16 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by MilkTrance View Post
Boobies = to sell cars ONLY.
:

post #17 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by beansmommy View Post
Goodness forbid that some innocent soul is forced to see a labeled container of pumped breastmilk... The HORROR of such a thought chills me to the bone! :

WTF is wrong with some people? They can't just take their yogurt out of the shared fridge without commenting on other people's stuff? And complaining about it to a syndicated columnist, no less...
ETA SORRY 4 TYPOS NAKKING
ya know something tells me if the person writing in were complaining about seeing some ones hamburger in the fridge and how offensive that was even though she used to eat meat ..... miss conduct would be giving advice on not being overlt sensitive and impossing your views and morals on others:
post #18 of 67
I hate that. That exact thing came up at my work. My coworkers/manager were very supportive of my pumping at work. I always left my milk in the cooler that came with my pump (in the fridge) and never had a problem. I didn't really think about it, that is just how I stored it. Well, then we had another breastfeeding mama who just put the bottles of milk in the fridge and there was a big uproar about it. I finally posted the CDC statement on the fridge and that seemed to take care of it. She still put her milk in the bottles in the fridge and never heard anything more about it.

What the first person to be upset about it was that they didn't want her breastmilk stored next to their food because it was "gross." My response was that I didn't want their chemical laden food stored next to my baby's food because that was "gross," lol...

We also had a problem because some of the nurses didn't want patient's breastmilk stored in the patient fridge (we got post partum moms semi frequently). I posted the same CDC statement, but that time the management decided to get another fridge that was just for breastmilk. Seemed like a waste of money to me, but I figured if that was how the hospital wanted to waste their money, that was fine with me, lol...

Sort of sad that people think that baby food is gross, huh? Too bad Miss conduct didn't put that person in her place, eh?
post #19 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by MilkTrance View Post
Boobies = to sell cars ONLY.
Naw, not just cars, they are for selling beer too
post #20 of 67
Quote:
Originally Posted by gini1313 View Post
Naw, not just cars, they are for selling beer too
I was going to say the same thing!

Seriously, I don't get what is such a big deal about seeing milk in a fridge. Some people.
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