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s/o of "picky eaters": how do you handle "i'm hungry!" when they didn't eat what you made for... - Page 11

post #201 of 205
Originally Posted by A&A View Post
I prefer the terms "laissez-faire" or "Taking Children Seriously" over "Child-Led." (CL). The children aren't leading our family, but their wishes matter and we take them seriously.
Doesn't CL stand for consensual living?
post #202 of 205
Originally Posted by meganeilis View Post
Not asking a child to take a nibble before dismissing perfectly good food is loading on just as much emotional baggage as making that a standing request at the dinner table. Anectodotal example: My BIL is a 35 year old picky eater. He gets downright offended when he shows up at a family function and there is nothing that he deems acceptable to eat. It's gotten to the point where he sees someone's inability to bend over backwards to suit his tastes as a lack of consideration for his feelings (no, he's not vegan or vegetarian, just a self-involved turd). Because of this, he gets invites less than other relatives, it's just not worth tip toeing around trying to find things he won't object to.

Expecting your kids to be flexible, is not being inflexible yourself. And the argument that having some minor expectations for your family means you saddling your kids with emotional baggage, well that seems to be two way street. Placing so much importance on never eating anything that you don't love doesn't seem very healthy either.

I have early teen nephews/nieces who have a relative running to Subway for them or cracking a can of beefaroni at family gatherings---even Thanksgiving.
post #203 of 205
Originally Posted by Kessed View Post
Doesn't CL stand for consensual living?
I guess. I thought it stood for "child-led," as in "CL weaning," which I see around MDC a lot.
post #204 of 205
As long as we're all being anecdotal, I was a terribly picky eater and my parents tried to force me to eat. I had to have so many bites of this or that. And I decided I simply was going to win, and they decided the same. I lost a lot of weight and my mom took me to the doctor, who told her to let me eat what I wanted. I have sensory issues so that might have been part of my problem. But I lived on PB&J for a while and I ended up being pretty healthy.

I'm not that picky anymore. I outgrew it when I started living on my own and having to cook my own food.

I have never forced food on my daughter, told her it's rude to not eat what I eat, refused her other food if she didn't like it, or anything like that. But as it turns out, she isn't picky at all so this isn't an issue that comes up often - she eats most things. I just serve up the food, and she almost always tries everything just because she's curious. Even if she's had it before. She says, "Maybe I'll like it this time." But I wouldn't dream of telling her she had to eat something that she didn't like. There is no emotional attachment to food in this house, and there are also no power struggles over food. And she has healthy foods available to her at any time if she's hungry (though she doesn't actually like yogurt - so there's one food she's picky about), but since she isn't picky that's usually for snacks when she's going through a growth spurt. She eats a LOT during those times, and other times she'll take a few nibbles and not want anymore. Anyway, I want her to listen to her body's signals and eat as much as is right for her at that time.

Oh, one last thing. I really hate the idea of her eating to please me. There's something about a child eating to please his/her parents that freaks me out. I really see that leading to terrible food problems.
post #205 of 205
Another story of an adult being a childish picky eater:

My cousin got married on this beautiful island on the Maine coast. We all went and stayed at this wonderful B&B for a couple of nights to enjoy the wedding and the parties afterward. There was only one restaurant on the island.

Well my cousin (the bride's younger brother, who had Co-Co Puffs every night for dinner growing up) looked over the whole menu and then asked the waitress what kind of soup they had. They had Cream of Broccoli and Lobster Chowder (of course! It's Maine!). Cousin sighs loudly and asks her, "Don't you just have a can of Chicken Noodle back there?"

It was embarassing. So yeah, I understand kids being picky. And I agree w/ not forcing them. But Super Picky Adult Eaters are a royal pita IMNSHO.
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Mothering › Mothering Forums › Mom › Parenting › s/o of "picky eaters": how do you handle "i'm hungry!" when they didn't eat what you made for dinner?