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s/o of "picky eaters": how do you handle "i'm hungry!" when they didn't eat what you made for... - Page 3

post #41 of 205
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kessed View Post
For us supper is a family meal. We make something from scratch - then we sit down and eat.

I eat what he makes, and he eats what I make - that's common courtesy. I cannot believe that so many people think it's OK to make new food.

I cannot imagine not eating what was made for supper. That's just plain ridiculous.

We respect the other person when we cook - so I don't use mushrooms and he doesn't use ground beef. If DD has a like/dislike we'll respect that.

Maybe money's a factor. We don't have the money to make more than one thing - even if we used the leftovers. Well - I guess we could use them for supper the next night, but neither of us like to eat the same thing 2 suppers in a row. But our lunches tend to cost alot less than suppers. So - there's no way we could afford to make 2 suppers and then take leftovers for lunch. That would double our supper budget - and drastically increase our food budget.
Well, I am also coming from a different perspective - dh is at work during dinner time. Dh has been working during dinnertime since the day I met him, so we fell into our own fend for ourselves routine long ago. It may sound strange to some, but really it works out fine in our home. We tend to make big deals of breakfasts and dinners on the weekend.

We eat from scratch also, but it's something simple like stir-fry or eggplant with tomatoes and mozzerella under the broiler.

Also, I don't make "new" food or 2 suppers. I tell ds he can help himself to a container of yogurt or a bowl of cereal.
post #42 of 205
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kessed View Post
I should probably add - that we will start being strict about supper when our kids are old enough to have some level of self control.

So probably 4 or 5 - then they will participate in supper with us.

Before that - I will be much more lenient.

But - I have no desire to make multiple meals. I will not make a hot snack before bed just because my child refused to eat supper. It isn't a power struggle - that's just the way it is. Just like we don't have juice in the house, or we don't play with knives.

Oh, you have a 1.5 yo. Ds is 3.5. I imagine when he is a bit older dinners will look a little different for us.
I have noticed the more participation ds has with meal prep, the more psyched he is to eat it.
post #43 of 205
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hoopin' Mama View Post
Well, I am also coming from a different perspective - dh is at work during dinner time. Dh has been working during dinnertime since the day I met him, so we fell into our own fend for ourselves routine long ago. It may sound strange to some, but really it works out fine in our home. We tend to make big deals of breakfasts and dinners on the weekend.

We eat from scratch also, but it's something simple like stir-fry or eggplant with tomatoes and mozzerella under the broiler.

Also, I don't make "new" food or 2 suppers. I tell ds he can help himself to a container of yogurt or a bowl of cereal.
That's cool if that works for you. It is a different situation than, let's say, the DH coming home from work - looking at what's on the stove, and deciding to eat pizza pops... To me, that's really rude.

We're less picky about weekends and breakfast - we fend for ourselves. But supper is the meal we eat together.

But - I'm not ok with the idea of a kid eating yogurt for supper. To me, yogurt is a junky treat. It's not a supper substitute.

But also - we're on a tight budget, and I don't see that ending any time soon. If I buy yogurt - it's planned when we'll use it. I buy some to take to work with me for a snack. I buy some for DD as a treat kind of snack for days when DH works from home to watch her. It wouldn't be OK for her to want to have it all the time.

We basically don't eat packaged stuff like that. We can't afford it.
post #44 of 205
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hoopin' Mama View Post
Dh and I don't have the exact same tastes and the same eating schedule. If he doesn't wish to eat my tofu dish, I take absolutely no offense whatsoever. I would never consider it rude if he passed it up. I've done the same for his meals because he simply chooses to eat more meat than I am comfortable with.

We often eat such simple meals that no one is slaving over a hot stove for hours. If I am planning on cooking a more elaborate meal, then I usually make sure it's something ds will like, or if it 's too spicy I will have something simpler for him.

And it's not wasteful here -- we eat leftovers.
This.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Kessed View Post
For us supper is a family meal. We make something from scratch - then we sit down and eat.

I eat what he makes, and he eats what I make - that's common courtesy. I cannot believe that so many people think it's OK to make new food.

I cannot imagine not eating what was made for supper. That's just plain ridiculous.

We respect the other person when we cook - so I don't use mushrooms and he doesn't use ground beef. If DD has a like/dislike we'll respect that.
dd has quite a list of things that she won't eat. or rather a short list of things she will. It's just how things are now with this particular child.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Kessed View Post
But - I have no desire to make multiple meals. I will not make a hot snack before bed just because my child refused to eat supper. It isn't a power struggle - that's just the way it is. Just like we don't have juice in the house, or we don't play with knives.
That's why I said simple. I don't cook separate meals, but it's no big deal to open a yogurt or spread cream cheese on a bagel.

-Angela
post #45 of 205
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kessed View Post
That's cool if that works for you. It is a different situation than, let's say, the DH coming home from work - looking at what's on the stove, and deciding to eat pizza pops... To me, that's really rude.

We're less picky about weekends and breakfast - we fend for ourselves. But supper is the meal we eat together.

But - I'm not ok with the idea of a kid eating yogurt for supper. To me, yogurt is a junky treat. It's not a supper substitute.

But also - we're on a tight budget, and I don't see that ending any time soon. If I buy yogurt - it's planned when we'll use it. I buy some to take to work with me for a snack. I buy some for DD as a treat kind of snack for days when DH works from home to watch her. It wouldn't be OK for her to want to have it all the time.

We basically don't eat packaged stuff like that. We can't afford it.
It's more the idea that dh likes things I don't like- he may make himself some dinner that I don't like. He'd be happy to share, but knows I don't like it.

Depends on what kind of yogurt you get trix yogurt- sure.

Whole milk, plain yogurt... not so junky.

And if the other choice is going to bed hungry then it's a fabulous choice. (because let me tell you, rules, pressure, same food served again, NONE of that will make my dd eat something she doesn't want to)

-Angela
post #46 of 205
Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna View Post
That's why I said simple. I don't cook separate meals, but it's no big deal to open a yogurt or spread cream cheese on a bagel.

-Angela
I guess - I don't see us keeping those sorts of things in the house...

We meal plan. We don't have the money to have random 'substitutes' laying around. If we have bagels and cream cheese - there for something in particular. Same thing with yogurt.

When we plan our meals - we make sure that DH and I both like what's on the menu and we make sure that there is enough that DD will eat. She's really really picky - and had a FTT diagnosis on her record - so we're concerned about making sure she get's enough to eat.
post #47 of 205
Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna View Post
It's more the idea that dh likes things I don't like- he may make himself some dinner that I don't like. He'd be happy to share, but knows I don't like it.
My DH used to be picky. But early in our relationship we sorted that out.

I guess I'm not OK with people not eating perfectly good food. I don't care if it's something I don't particularily like - it won't hurt me to eat it.

Again - I might feel differently if I had money to burn and was able to buy lots of extra food.
post #48 of 205
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kessed View Post
I guess - I don't see us keeping those sorts of things in the house...

We meal plan. We don't have the money to have random 'substitutes' laying around. If we have bagels and cream cheese - there for something in particular. Same thing with yogurt.

When we plan our meals - we make sure that DH and I both like what's on the menu and we make sure that there is enough that DD will eat. She's really really picky - and had a FTT diagnosis on her record - so we're concerned about making sure she get's enough to eat.
Yeah... wait until she's older. I thought dd would grow out of more of her pickiness... not so much. She'll be 4 in august.

I keep "snack" foods in the house that are easy for her and nutritious. Bagels, cream cheese, hard boiled eggs, yogurt etc.

Those all also work for a substitute dinner or lunch if needed.

-Angela
post #49 of 205
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kessed View Post
My DH used to be picky. But early in our relationship we sorted that out.

I guess I'm not OK with people not eating perfectly good food. I don't care if it's something I don't particularily like - it won't hurt me to eat it.

Again - I might feel differently if I had money to burn and was able to buy lots of extra food.
Some people really have issues with some foods. My food "dislikes" are all texture related. I truly can not eat most sausage. Makes me gag.

If dd has similar issues, why would I not honor them?

It has nothing to do with money to burn. You don't have to WASTE anything. Dh simply doesn't make more sausage than HE wants.

Leftovers get eaten for lunch or dinner

-Angela
post #50 of 205
Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna View Post
Some people really have issues with some foods. My food "dislikes" are all texture related. I truly can not eat most sausage. Makes me gag.

If dd has similar issues, why would I not honor them?

It has nothing to do with money to burn. You don't have to WASTE anything. Dh simply doesn't make more sausage than HE wants.

Leftovers get eaten for lunch or dinner

-Angela
I would honor them. But I would do that by not cooking them - not by making her a special meal!

DH doesn't like mushrooms - so I don't cook them.

I HATE cooked veggies - like steamed/fried. I can handle lightly cooked ones in stirfrys - but that's it. So we work with that. We eat alot of raw veggies and stuff shredded into sauces.

I would so the same for DD. She doesn't like purees - so we don't plan things that are pureed. If we have a blended soup - we make sure to add potato bits or something to give it texture for her.
post #51 of 205
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kessed View Post
That's cool if that works for you. It is a different situation than, let's say, the DH coming home from work - looking at what's on the stove, and deciding to eat pizza pops... To me, that's really rude.
.

Yeah, that would be annoying.

It's more like: Hey, if you're hungry, I made eggplant curry.
If he chooses to have leftover stew instead, more eggplant for me the next day :


One new thing I've tried is setting out dinner "family style" on the table and letting ds choose what he'd like, instead of making his plate and putting it in front of him. I am hoping having the choices in front of him may inspire him more to try new things. The downside is it creates more dishwashing.
post #52 of 205
Also, it's not really a matter of having "money to burn". Anyone who knows me knows that I am cheap...uh, I mean thrifty. I buy basic produce and meats for ingredients, keep spices on hand, and keep things yummy and simple. I also tend to cook large pots of stews and soups and draw from them all week.


I think the presence of Trader Joes' in my town helps a lot. Healthy yogurts and dairy foods can be purchased there for cheap.
post #53 of 205
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hoopin' Mama View Post
Also, it's not really a matter of having "money to burn". Anyone who knows me knows that I am cheap...uh, I mean thrifty. I buy basic produce and meats for ingredients, keep spices on hand, and keep things yummy and simple. I also tend to cook large pots of stews and soups and draw from them all week.


I think the presence of Trader Joes' in my town helps a lot. Healthy yogurts and dairy foods can be purchased there for cheap.
We're not good enough cooks to do that.

When we buy general ingredients instead of food planning - we end up wasting alot... So we plan our meals - and then we use everything. It works for us.
post #54 of 205
DP and I often eat different things for dinner. And it has nothing to do with money to burn, or cooking different foods and wasting.

Sometimes one of us inadvertently cooks something the other one isn't too fussy on. Or maybe we just don't feel like that particular food tonight, kwim?

At least twice a week, one of us isn't as hungry as the other. So someone has something 'bigger' and someone else has something snacky. Leftovers go in the fridge, so there's no waste.

DD is never, ever forced to eat anything she doesn't like and/or want to - ever. She can have eggs, yogurt, sandwich, cereal, soup, granola, fruit, cheese, crackers.

She's also a midway fussy eater, and it's important to me not to battle. But you should see the things she's tried all on her own; she definitely has a wide array of tastes.

Her tummy is smaller than mine, so she often has a snack before bed.

My parents were adamant when I was a child that eating was a very individual thing, and food should never become a battle ground.

I remain thankful for that. :
post #55 of 205
Quote:
Originally Posted by nursemummy View Post
DP and I often eat different things for dinner. And it has nothing to do with money to burn, or cooking different foods and wasting.

Sometimes one of us inadvertently cooks something the other one isn't too fussy on. Or maybe we just don't feel like that particular food tonight, kwim?

At least twice a week, one of us isn't as hungry as the other. So someone has something 'bigger' and someone else has something snacky. Leftovers go in the fridge, so there's no waste.
Why not just eat a smaller amount of the supper? Why do people have to 'love' everything they eat. That idea of so foreign to me. I guess I grew up with being allowed to eat or not - that was my choice. But no one ever had something different.

And I'm really glad for that.

Quote:
DD is never, ever forced to eat anything she doesn't like and/or want to - ever. She can have eggs, yogurt, sandwich, cereal, soup, granola, fruit, cheese, crackers.
But, in order to do that - you need to have purchased all those extra things. You need to have eggs that aren't slated for a specific meal - which mean if they aren't eaten they could go to waste, you need to have extra yogurt. For sandwiches you need to have extra bread and extra stuff to put in them. Do you get what I'm saying. We don't buy those things. We can't buy things we don't know we'll eat.

Quote:
She's also a midway fussy eater, and it's important to me not to battle. But you should see the things she's tried all on her own; she definitely has a wide array of tastes.

Her tummy is smaller than mine, so she often has a snack before bed.

My parents were adamant when I was a child that eating was a very individual thing, and food should never become a battle ground.

I remain thankful for that. :
I'm all for making snacks after kids have had supper. But that's fundamentally different from the original question which was what to do when a kid wants a snack rather than supper.

And - you can be strict with food without it being a power struggle. Just don't get involved with the struggle. Give kids choices - and let them make them. Just - in our case, the choices will NOT include making different food.
post #56 of 205
Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna View Post
Some people really have issues with some foods. My food "dislikes" are all texture related. I truly can not eat most sausage. Makes me gag.

If dd has similar issues, why would I not honor them?

It has nothing to do with money to burn. You don't have to WASTE anything. Dh simply doesn't make more sausage than HE wants.

Leftovers get eaten for lunch or dinner

-Angela
Oldest Ds has texture issues and has SID and OCD, but even he will eat parts of whats for dinner, always has. I just make sure to prepare things with a texture he can eat, when he's home. Last night he ate the potatoes and Pork and applesauce, didn't touch the green beans.
What I find funny, as they grow, they change so fast. Dd is 3.5years, she used to just eat everything on her plate, now she goes through jags of eating parts of the meal and wanting more of that part. One time it was broccoli, she ate a ton and nothing else. Last night she ate a huge pork chop (bigger than her Dads) and applesauce and a taste of green beans. She was done. She's done it before with other things, but it's never consistent, she fancied the steak one night and ate more than anyone else in the house.
Kids amaze me, she gets a balance of food if I leave her too it, some days are veg days some are meat days and every days seems to be a grain day.
Not a big milk drinker but loves cheese and yogurt.
I eat whatever I'm given if I eat with friends, so does Dh, it would be rude not too. Thats how I discovered I really do like brussles spouts :
post #57 of 205
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kessed View Post
I would honor them. But I would do that by not cooking them - not by making her a special meal!

DH doesn't like mushrooms - so I don't cook them.

I HATE cooked veggies - like steamed/fried. I can handle lightly cooked ones in stirfrys - but that's it. So we work with that. We eat alot of raw veggies and stuff shredded into sauces.

I would so the same for DD. She doesn't like purees - so we don't plan things that are pureed. If we have a blended soup - we make sure to add potato bits or something to give it texture for her.
But sometimes dh LIKES to have those foods... why shouldn't he?

One very picky person could severely limit the diet for the whole family. Seems much easier to offer an alternative.

-Angela
post #58 of 205
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kessed View Post


In my house - DH and I eat what's for supper.

I CAN'T imagine how offended I would be if DH looked at what's for supper and made himself something else. THAT'S SOOOOO RUDE!!!!


Dh and I do this to each other sometimes. We just have really different tastes. No big deal in our house. So, the kids can have something else, too, if they want. This just isn't a fight in our house. And as another poster said, leftovers go in the fridge or the freezer so we're not wasting it. (And the dog is more than happy to help out on the rare occasions we do waste something!)
post #59 of 205
Quote:
Originally Posted by alegna View Post
But sometimes dh LIKES to have those foods... why shouldn't he?

One very picky person could severely limit the diet for the whole family. Seems much easier to offer an alternative.

-Angela
It's called 'comprimise'...

I don't know - it's part of being a 'family'...

Everyone makes sacrifices. Do I like Mac and Cheese? Not really - but my babysitting kids asked for it as a special treat today (they get something like that every couple of weeks). So I made it. Did they like the pasta and sauce I made last week? No - but they ate some anyway.

And they aren't even family...

In our family we all do things we don't necessarily want to do. There are things that DH loves and I don't really care for on our menu - and stuff I love and DH could do without.

But - it won't hurt us to eat things we don't love.
post #60 of 205
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kessed View Post
But, in order to do that - you need to have purchased all those extra things. You need to have eggs that aren't slated for a specific meal - which mean if they aren't eaten they could go to waste, you need to have extra yogurt. For sandwiches you need to have extra bread and extra stuff to put in them. Do you get what I'm saying. We don't buy those things. We can't buy things we don't know we'll eat.
Beyond just two people in a house (even that is hard for me to fathom...) I can't imagine how this works for a family. Is every single snack structured with no choice? What if someone is hungry and needs an extra meal one day?

That is not a way I could live.

-Angela
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