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Virtues Parenting - Page 8

post #141 of 186
I am having so much success with this. Today at the grocery store my kids were the most helpful, respectful, patient and wonderful children you could have asked for.

People were commenting positively in almost every aisle.

One pushed the cart, one held the list. We counted apples, I lifted little one up to reach the high stuff. We stuck to the list. If it's not on the list we don't get it and sometimes they would ask if something(cookies for example) was on the list and I said "no" and they expressed disappointment and I said "but chocolate chips is on the list so we can make our own" and they were :

Honestly...this is like a big gd secret.

I was so thrilled with the kids I took them for McDonald's for lunch. And know what? When you don't take your kids to McDonald's very often they really super appreciate it when you do! They think those little toy Penquins are amazing! They expressed so much gratitude for that and we haven't even talked about gratitude and thankfulness all that much. That just came out.

They still torture the dog a bit too much..we are working on that but they love him so darn much

Anyway...I felt so good as a mom getting so many positive remarks in the store...it's never happened to that degree before. I can take a bit of credit can't I?
post #142 of 186
subbing
post #143 of 186
Quote:
Originally Posted by magstphil View Post
Ohhhh I have been dieing to pick up A Pace of Grace!! Do let us know how it is!
I just thought I would update y'all that I finished reading the first chapter and have decided I am going to buy this book and take my time with it. It is set up to take a chapter/section at a time and I see the benefits of doing so. I really, really like Linda's approach...
post #144 of 186
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LauraN View Post
PrennaMama:

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for this thread! I've actually only read the first few posts, but already Virtues Parenting has helped me make that elusive paradigm shift that everyone talks about in Gentle Parenting.

Mind you, I've been reading and studying Gentle Parenting for *years,* but something about my upbringing just didn't allow me to make that shift.

But reading your posts and the Virtues Project web site did it both for me and for DH.
It was SO my pleasure to bring this thread up... I can really relate to your experience in finding what you needed to make that paradigm shift, because sincerely, the VP tied it all together for me!

Quote:
Originally Posted by LauraN View Post
I explained that these were tools that we all have inside of ourselves but that we need to practice them so they become easier to use, much like learning to ride a bike (something they've both done recently). I asked them what happens when we fall off our bike. Does anyone yell at them, punish them or suggest there's something wrong with them? Of course not! Instead, we first find out what's wrong (is someone hurt? tired? hungry?), help with that, then get back on the bike and keep practicing!
Oooooh! I LOVE the way you linked the bike metaphor with the principles of gentle parenting, that it, parenting without shaming etc! I plan to use that!

Quote:
Originally Posted by loveandmore View Post
Thank you PrennaMama for your feedback.
All the gratitude is making me :... I can't believe VP hasn't been discussed more roundly, here! It's such a natural fit! Thank you ladies for reading, and giving it a shot!

Quote:
Originally Posted by allgirls View Post
<snip>

Honestly...this is like a big gd secret.

<snip>Anyway...I felt so good as a mom getting so many positive remarks in the store...it's never happened to that degree before. I can take a bit of credit can't I?
It does feel like a big secret! Get the message out, sistas! There is another approach!! :

And allgirls you uva well better take some credit... it's you, after all, who is helping them to unlock their virtues!
post #145 of 186
Sometimes I feel like I'm just winging it but hey, it works.

So yesterday my daughter was disappointed that she didn't win the colouring contest at her school but she was very excited that her friends won. I was very proud and pointed out that being "gracious" in defeat is a virtue. So we talked about that a lot and how it's important that even when we feel disappointment in ourselves we can make ourselves feel better by being happy for others and that will actually make us less disappointed and more happy than if we feel mad at them.

She's going to congratulate her friends when she goes to school on Monday she said.

She really listened and understood.
post #146 of 186
Thread Starter 
Prenna and I have been discussing choices, and the value of thinking about the choices available before deciding one's path...

She was interviewed by a friend of ours who is taking a master's class in child psychology and wanted to talk to her about moral development.

Prenna told her that breaking the rules (in a game they were playing) is wrong because someone could get mad, it's not fair... and then she let our friend break the rules to take several turns in a row, because she "wanted her to have more fun, and losing isn't fun."

This started a conversation on fairness and sportsmanship.

We're steadying on... winging it.

When school lets out for winter break, I'm starting a Facebook group. I hope you all will join in!:
post #147 of 186
Thanks so much for the update! I think I'll buy it as well...
post #148 of 186
Quote:
Originally Posted by magstphil View Post
Thanks so much for the update! I think I'll buy it as well...
I just ordered my copy from amazon along with Linda's Family Virtues Guide and a few other books for myself and gifts...all on free shipping, too...

I tried to buy it in person, but the bookstore where I was for a Mom's Night Out didn't carry any of the books on my list...
post #149 of 186
I wanted to bring this thread back up for discussion.

I have a cute story to share. As I mentioned above, I have checked out a lot of books from the library on parenting topics. The mention in this thread is far from an exhaustive list. LOL Our DD (age 7) has paid attention and has read bits and pieces of many of the books. She reads well and comprehends well, also. She has clear opinions on various books, also, and definitely disliked all of the William Bennett books. In her words, "he is mean". I ordered some of the books I liked from Amazon and they arrived right before Christmas. The Family Virtues Guide by Linda Kavelin Popov has been sitting on the stairs for a few days now. I had read a couple dozen pages and set it aside due to the holidays. She decided to read it yesterday. She loves it! She asked me to read it with her later in the day, so we took turns reading aloud before dinner. Then we asked Daddy to read up to the same point we got to and he did after dinner. She told us what she liked is that "it disciplines parents". LOL She also really liked the stories (examples). She was able to articulate the specific areas where she felt our family could use the work in the book. (We haven't finished reading the section before the specific virtues, but we are close.)

Meanwhile, I brought a few books to a playgroup meeting this morning at the beach and started a discussion on the virtues parenting concept (among others). Two of the three moms present are very interested in purchasing the book and discussing the topics regularly. I'm going to send an email to the whole playgroup next week to see if anyone else is interested as well.

PrennaMama, are you still interested in doing an online workshop? I'd love to participate!
post #150 of 186
Quote:
Originally Posted by sunnysandiegan View Post
I wanted to bring this thread back up for discussion.

I have a cute story to share. As I mentioned above, I have checked out a lot of books from the library on parenting topics. The mention in this thread is far from an exhaustive list. LOL Our DD (age 7) has paid attention and has read bits and pieces of many of the books. She reads well and comprehends well, also. She has clear opinions on various books, also, and definitely disliked all of the William Bennett books. In her words, "he is mean". I ordered some of the books I liked from Amazon and they arrived right before Christmas. The Family Virtues Guide by Linda Kavelin Popov has been sitting on the stairs for a few days now. I had read a couple dozen pages and set it aside due to the holidays. She decided to read it yesterday. She loves it! She asked me to read it with her later in the day, so we took turns reading aloud before dinner. Then we asked Daddy to read up to the same point we got to and he did after dinner. She told us what she liked is that "it disciplines parents". LOL She also really liked the stories (examples). She was able to articulate the specific areas where she felt our family could use the work in the book. (We haven't finished reading the section before the specific virtues, but we are close.)

Meanwhile, I brought a few books to a playgroup meeting this morning at the beach and started a discussion on the virtues parenting concept (among others). Two of the three moms present are very interested in purchasing the book and discussing the topics regularly. I'm going to send an email to the whole playgroup next week to see if anyone else is interested as well.

PrennaMama, are you still interested in doing an online workshop? I'd love to participate!

It is funny that my almost 5 year old son likes to read the same virtue book at nights before bed. He calls it the Baha'i book!!! He likes the pictures and examples!!

It is wonderful that you introduced this book to your palygroup

Good luck
post #151 of 186
bumpity...important thread...thought I'd bump it.
post #152 of 186
Quote:
Originally Posted by allgirls View Post
bumpity...important thread...thought I'd bump it.
Thanks! I have been wondering how everyone is doing!
post #153 of 186
Me too!!!!
post #154 of 186
is there a book on this? I dont get much time to read on the compouter these days but I read the first page here and I am very interested in this.
post #155 of 186
just getting through page 2 now. I ordered the family virtues book. I am thinking of getting the cards too now this really sounds right up my alley. I will continue my way through this thread as I have time
post #156 of 186
I have made my way through page 3. this is very exciting to me! I'm always looking for new tools. It's amazing to hear how these things work. It's very hard to let go of "control". sometimes I feel like I create unneccessary power struggles because I feel like I need to "control" my children. What I really need, is for us to work together and be cooperative. The reality is, you can't really control another person, and I dont want my children to be the kind of people who let others control them anyway. I do want them to cooperate though and follow instructions, especially about being kind and gentle to others, and being safe, etc. Self control is the goal for my family, but its hard sometimes to get rid of these old habits.
post #157 of 186
Quote:
Originally Posted by PrennaMama View Post
I use what speaks to me from each of the different teachings or styles I'm attracted to. I llike to look at each parenting philosophy and approach as a tool for my tool-kit. Where L&L fails me, I lean more heavily on CL modality. Where Faber and Mazlish leave me blank, I draw upon Playful Parenting. But underlying it all (at least, now, for our family) is the Virtues Project.
This makes it sound like "Virtues" is the missing piece to our family equation. We use L&L the FM approach, and Playful Parenting. I needing something to tie it together and I'm excited to start using this approach!! Though, my kids are very little still I think its best to start early so *I* can be in the habit of "saying/doing the right things".
post #158 of 186
this thread holds a wealth of knowledge. thank you for posting it and thank you to everyone who has been participating in it. I love the turn around concept on page 4. I am rather addicted to reading this thread. I really don't have time hehehe but I figure making my house more virtuous will buy me more time in the long run
post #159 of 186
Quote:
Originally Posted by allgirls View Post
About the virtues being intrinsic.

With my three year old I will say something like "you have to find patience deep down inside you, it's there, can you find some?"

The other day she was very impatiently waiting her turn for something and I said something similar to the above and she was resistant at first and then suddenly she said
"I found some!"

and I said "what did you find"

"I found some patience. It was in my tummy"

kids are so funny!
awe that made me giggle out loud. TOO STINKIN CUTE!!!
post #160 of 186
I'm all caught up on this thread.... that was a lot of reading!! thank you for this post, i've had some great breakthroughts recently and feel that this is a good foundation to base all my new practices on can't wait to get my book - but I've already gotten started from what I've learned here!
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