post #41 of 186
9/3/08 at 10:16pm
New York's Baha'i communities are active and large. Generally a camp like the one I worked at is hosted by Baha'is but can be also be hosted by other groups as well! You could start by looking into where your local Baha'i community holds assembly... call 1-800-22-UNITE or check this link for contact info ContactBaha'i. That will help you find Baha'is locally, and they can help you get started at finding out more about Virtues Education programs like the camp I worked in. There's no preassure or obligation, they will be glad to help you, and remember that the Virtues Project can be applied non-denominationally...
How's the book?
Thanks Unity9! Welcome to MDC!
For those of you interested, here is a link to the website Unity9 suggested: Virtue of the Week.
This website is a GREAT place to start, especially if you're wanting inspiration or suggestions. Also, for some of us, working on 52 or more virtues is daunting, but having a focus is helpful, and this website may give you that.
Would anyone be interested in doing an intensive with me over the next two weeks?
It would involve a group (here on thread?) picking a couple of virtues to deepen on, and posting here regularly about how it's going... while we read up on, discuss, craft/paint/write about, and otherwise explore the chosen virtue(s) with our children. We could really help each other to think outside the box and try some new approaches...
It would be wonderful if we could start with respect, gentleness, cooperative-ness, understanding, patience, courtesy.
I think we all need those most with our children. Recently, I've been having some issues with cooperativeness!!
Hope we can practice these virtues soon with real life examples
|NOODLEBORO games let you nurture kids’ social skills naturally through multi-sensory play that leaves everyone laughing! Each NOODLEBORO game comes with a storybook and an audio CD so kids can see, hear, play and then live each NOODLEBORO life lesson. Meet the NOODLEBORO kids and reinforce listening with songs, stories and tips found in the companion book and CD.|
I (and others) shy away from the word Obedience sometimes, because it doesn't feel like it's on the GD/UP/CL spectrum, kwim? BUT, within the VP, I feel it has a less forboding tenor. Obedience, at least in our home, is defined as paying attention to parents, grands, teachers, etc, and doing as one is told in regards to the rules in other people's homes, school, and our own home. If it is a rule that folks may not run on the pavement, then Obedience is honoring that rule with the understanding that it is to keep us safe.
What are your feelings and thoughts on the interpretation of "Obedience" and how can it be applied while still honoring a child's voice and preferences?
One thing I do, that works well with dd, is to clarify constantly. I don't introduce, discuss, or acknowledge a virtue without defining it a few times . Like with Cooperation, I asked dd outright if she knew what the "virtue, Cooperation" was, and when she said no, I asked if she would like to know, then defined it as "Working together to make things happen more easily, or more quickly... like working as a team." Short quips, and reminder questions come in forms like: (on our way into first day of ballet class)
Me: "So what Virtues do you think you'll use in there?"
Dd: "umm... respect?"
Me: "sure... and what does respect look like?" I ask very earnestly.
Dd: "Listening ears, and cooperation."
Me: "Cooperation is..."
Dd: "... working together to make things happen more easily." She says it confidantly, and with a smile.
Me: "OH!" I say as tho I have had some clarification. "Ok, then.. I'll be watching for those..."
Dd: "K Mama... I'kk be watching you too!"
We both laughed.
And I do watch for ANY of the behaviors we want to see more of, then acknowledge them (not praise), as a way to positively manifest and refinforce them. I think that piece is really important.
There are some games I'm wanting to try with dd that might be useful in teaching the concepts of cooperation, gentleness, and courtesy. Maybe we can brainstorm ways to adapt them to Virtues Teaching/Parenting.
Also, I just saw an ad for Noodleboro Games by Hasbro... they highlight and encourage the practice of certain "personality characteristics" like sharing, manners, etc... Here's a link to their site: Noodleboro Games and a quote from the site re; a game centered on Listening (part of courtesy, enables obedience and I cringe when I say it... ):
Tonight at a council meeting for our school I did childcare for some of the parents. I overheard dd telling a story to the other kids, regarding a running-around careless fella she had witnessed at a play-place earlier today, who kept trampling the toddlers/wobblers in the matted baby-area, leaping over the mats, until eventually I intervened as his mother didn't seem to be present:
Dd: ".. he was running around and yelling and pushed over little babies! His Mama didn't talk to him about being gentle or anything... But I think he should learn virtues to use, then he woulda played nicer, maybe."
Kid 1: "What? What can he learn?"
Dd: "Virtues... like 'copperation' and 'respeck-t' and maybe his Mama could help him."
Kid 2: "His Mama didn't help him with the babies. Maybe she doesn't know virtues."
Kid 1: "What are virtues again?"
Dd: "Helping things for being nice and loving, and making friends."
Kid 2: "His Mama should show him one for being nice to babies."
Dd: "My mama did. She asked him for copperation to pick up mats and make it safer so he could run and not bump the babies."
Kid 1: "Well, my mom could help too, she always tells me to have respeck."
I noticed the little guy seemed to be flying solo, and asked a couple of ladies if they knew who his mom was; one said she thought she saw her go into the restroom... So, I leaned into the garden and picked up a mat, and kinda put my rather round body in his path so that the next time he came around, I was in his way and he had to stop. I acted like I was falling over and said "Whoops! Slow down there, race-car... I was nearly knocked over... I saw some of the smaller kids getting knocked over too." He just looked at me. I went on: "I see that you wanna go really fast BUT please help me figure out a way you can do it that is safe for everybody. Can you run in another area?"
"No," he said, "this is the race track." It was circular. "Okay then," I said "What is your idea?"
He suggested moving the little ones. I answered that since it's actually a baby-area, we couldn't move them... Where was his mother? I kept thinking.
"How about we put up a few mats, together, so that the babies don't walk over into your running track?" I asked. He agreed and soon we had dd and this boy, as well as a couple others all lifting sections of mats and stacking them about a foot high which worked beautifully to deter the wobblers from coming out on the harder floor, and encouraged them to stay on the mats, while the boy and a couple others were able to run around the mats not leaping over little ones. When we were done, and they looked pleased with what they had done, I said "WOW! That was so much cooperation! What great team-work! Look at what you guys did when you worked together!"
"Yeah! We're a great team!" he said...
His mom was apparently in the nursing room that looks over the play-area, and watching the whole time. She came out shortly and thanked me for the way I spoke to her son, and she was beside herself becaus tho she saw what he was doing, she was nursing and would have had 2 meltdowns with trying to disengage baby and also redirect her son. But she said she was thrilled and amazed to see how he reacted because he usually just yells and runs from folks. Yay Virtues!
I think they are both ready to learn. I'm very excited to begin practicing this.
okay, anything that gets these results with my family especially my children peaks my interest.
My DS just learned the definition of Cooperation yesterday and we are working on it more. Sometimes, it's hard for him to focus! But it has been less struggle